Would you report this?

[nextcommercial]

My 15 year old God son told me his 14 year old friend is being abused by his parents.

I have never met this boy, but, I have his full name and parents name.

The boy is mixed race. But, they consider him a "young black male" and therefore he needs to learn how tough the world is now before he ends up in prison. So, when he "screws up" they are very hard on him.

The other siblings are all girls and much younger. (the oldest is only six) none of them are being abused.

Both Mom and Dad hit this boy. Mostly in the mouth. They force him to spend days on end in his room with only basic food.

Now, I don't KNOW that this is even true. My Godson swears it is, but he has never seen any actual abuse.

What do I do???????

School starts on Monday. I know at least five of the teachers in his high school, I know his football coach. I will see the football coach this afternoon when he picks up his pre-schoolers at my house.

Should I tell football coach what I have heard? He should know this young man already, since he was on the football team last year.

[OhDang]

yes do it!!
maybe tell the coach not to say who told him so your son doesn't get made fun of or anything for 'ratting him out'.
IF this is happening, someone needs to speak up for the boy. If it's not and he's just saying that for whatever reason, well that will teach him not to lie about such serious things.
but i dont know what 14yo would lie about that.

[eepster]

Definitly get the coaches opinion. Based on what he says (and if you feel what he says sound informed or vague) decide what to do next.

[Kessed]

I've worked in a position where I was a mandatory reporter (at a summer camp).

If I heard what you wrote from a kid - I would feel that it was my job to report it.

I don't fear CPS. I believe that it is there job to take information and do something with it. They will investigate. If they find grounds to take action - be it closer supervision, parenting classes, or removal of the child - they will.

That's not your call to make. Your job, IMO, as a responsible adult in our society is to hand that information over to the people who are trained and experienced in handling it.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Kessed

I've worked in a position where I was a mandatory reporter (at a summer camp).

.

I am a mandated reporter. But, I have never met this child, or his parents. So, do I still have the right to report something that is just heresay?

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I am a mandated reporter. But, I have never met this child, or his parents. So, do I still have the right to report something that is just heresay?

Maybe you could make an annonymous call to CPS to ask that question?

At any rate I would definitely talk to the coach to get his input on the situation. I think this is a case of "better safe than sorry" where you probably should let someone know what your godson told you.

[Kessed]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I am a mandated reporter. But, I have never met this child, or his parents. So, do I still have the right to report something that is just heresay?

I think so.

Can it hurt?

[nextcommercial]

O.K... SO, CPS said they will take a report, and keep a file. If there is already a file on him, they will investigate it.

HOWEVER, she said if the school counselor calls, they will investigate it.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I am a mandated reporter. But, I have never met this child, or his parents. So, do I still have the right to report something that is just heresay?

In my state, I think it would be considered hearsay if you were to call it in without having met the child (or parents), and without having seen (or heard about) any indications of abuse first-hand.

What about your godson? I'm guessing that if he was willing to tell you, he just might be willing to take a few minutes do something that might actually help his friend, since he feels absolutely sure of his friend's honesty.

Since he's heard about the abuse directly from his friend, his recounting what he's heard wouldn't be hearsay, and I dare say he'd be taken just as seriously as an adult.

In the off-chance that the boy did make something up (which I don't think is likely) -- I'm sure he'd confess all that when the social worker showed up, rather than risk having himself and his little sisters all taken off to foster-care.

[Kessed]

I need to point out that "taken off to foster care" is the LAST thing that CPS wants to do.

They will leave kids in marginal homes when they shouldn't to avoid that.

There are MANY MANY MANY other things that CPS will do if they can before resorting to the very expensive and resource limited action of taking kids away.

ETA: They also will normally only remove the affected child if the others appear to be safe. If they did remove this boy - then they would probably leave his sisters because, if the reasons given are accurate, they would not be in danger because they are young and female. They would also try to place the boy with family - like an uncle/aunt, or grandparent before resorting to foster care.

Foster care is really the last resort.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by Kessed

Foster care is really the last resort.

Right. I realize it's unlikely that the kids would be taken.

I was just saying, in the unlikely event that he was just making stuff up to get attention, I can't imagine him wanting to turn this into a full-blown CPS investigation.

My logic is that if it's true, then this boy needs protection and his family definitely needs some help. And if it's not true, I can't imagine the child wanting to bring all the possible interventions down on himself or his family, so I think he'd tell the truth then and everything would be dropped anyway.

[nextcommercial]

I talked to the coach. He knows the kid, and said the kids have all been at football practice most of the summer, and he went to camp a few weeks ago.

He hadn't noticed anything unusual about the family at all, and thought the Dad was awsome and very involved.

He said the kid hasn't had any visible signs of abuse, but he (the boy) DID bust his lip open really bad last week, but that he witnessed the accident, and knew it happened during a practice.

He promised to do some snooping around and ask a few non leading questions and he will alert the other teachers on his class schedule.

[Kessed]

See - to me this is how it's supposed to work.

You heard something. You let some people know. Then - they can watch out for things.

That makes sense to me.

[Sierra]

Wow! First time on this forum when I've ever gone against the crowd and advocated not reporting when others have said to report! I should mark this on the calendar as a day to remember . Sounds like you already made the report, but I am glad that you actually went to the coach.

I think in a case where you don't know either the kid or the parents, and you are just hearing things from another kid (who is going to be taking the things HE hears through his own filter and interpretations), the best course of action is to take this to a mandatory reporter who does know the kid and parents and who can truly figure out whether a report is necessary. And I say this being a mandatory reporter who is well aware that we can't and shouldn't abdicate reporting responsibilities in cases where we do have a reasonable cause to suspect abuse.

[nextcommercial]

Originally Posted by Sierra

Sounds like you already made the report, but I am glad that you actually went to the coach.
.

I only talked to the football coach. I called CPS and asked what to do and what would happen, but I never left any names or info.

[Sierra]

Got it, now, about not leaving names. Sounds well-handled, IMHO.