Starting to get worried about midwives available...

[StarMama]

I have one midwife I'd love to attend my birth, but she's getting older (she's 65, and has been a midwife for 30 years) and she's really not comfortable driving to me in labor (I live 30 minutes away from her). She's given me other contacts, I've looked up every midwife in my area and there aren't many choices close to me, and the ones that are close aren't taking December births, or the phone conversation went horribly (like um no I don't want a midwife who feels that attending a plus sized woman is doing me a favor and would REQUIRE GD testing thanks).

I still have a few midwives to contact, but some of these are even further away... I haven't contacted any midwives who live in SF yet (its 40 minutes away from my city, but in traffic can be up to 2 hours to get here). The majority of midwives I've found are in Berkeley and Oakland and I'm getting nervous. I want to find a good match, not just any midwife. I need to find someone willing to take payments. Willing to work with a plus sized woman without thinking my size means I'm sick. I want to work with a CPM not a CNM as I didn't have a good experience with my last CNM midwives feeling they didn't see birth as normal (I ended up induced with non-existent pre-e). I want someone who will help me if I do come up against problems (my bp did rise last time and I had no suggestions what-so-ever as to work to lower it).

[Arduinna]

Can you work with her on making other arrangements for her transportation if that is the primary issue? Doesn't she have an assistant she works with? Could you arrange for someone you trust to pick her up when the time comes? Could she take a cab, that you pay for? She should have a back up in case she has more than one mother in labor unless she doesn't take very many cases or spreads them out.

[StarMama]

She does have an assistant, its not that she couldn't get out here, its that last month she had two moms deliver 4 hours apart and if she wasn't in the same town she woulda missed one of the deliveries. She's willing to be a backup for me, or to assist, but she's really nervous and anxious about taking me as a client herself.

[barefootpoetry]

mama, I know how you feel, it took me until 30 weeks to find MWs that I liked. Keep trying, there must be other resources you can use.

Personally, I think it's a little bogus that she doesn't want to drive 30 minutes (then again, I don't know how her age might play into her inability to do this)...one of my CPMs is driving 1.5 hours from the next state to attend me. The CLOSEST licensed midwife to me is 30 minutes away....but we live in a very spread-out rural area so most of them are an average of an hour away anyway.

[StarMama]

She has said that a lot of it has to do with her age, she's wanting to slow down, so I appreciate her honesty. Being able to have a midwife who can be here for me truly and doesn't feel like she's stretching herself thin would be a good thing. So I'm hoping the other midwives I want to call who are also 30-40 minutes away won't be feeling the same way.

And she is still trying to help me find good midwives, gave me resources and numbers and her opinion on a few midwives I've hunted down, so I do appreciate that.

But I'm like OMG OMG I need to get this figured out!!

[runner29]

Not all CNM are like that, if you are desperate maybe you should interview some of them that do homebirth too and see if you click with any of them and like their philosophy.

I know you had a bad experience with them, but your training doesn't always dictate your exact practice. Probably the most hippy, home-birth friendly, pro-breastfeeding, birth-happy person I know in real life is an M.D. (family practice w/OB) (though she doesn't do homebirths but works in the hospital)

Good luck!

[SiobhanAoife]

Which part of the Bay Area do you live in? Have you talked to the Bay Area Homebirth Collective folks at all -- even if they're far from you, they might have some referrals? Depending on if you're east bay, north bay, etc. I might know of some folks near you.

[StarMama]

Kate, honestly I haven't passed by any midwife for having a CNM, I haven't come across any from my various name finding googling and from the midwife I want to see (who yes SiobhanAoife she is in the Collective but thank you for the suggestion). I'll keep your advice in mind if I come across one who sounds good

I'm in the East Bay, btw. I have contacted all the midwives from the collective in berkeley, oakland, and other parts of the east bay with the exception of Cindy Haag and... is Maura Daly from the collective? Anyhow those are the two I still need to contact (but the midwife I have been speaking to said Cindy is full/won't come to concord, but I'll still call personally to make sure). A lot of midwives say east bay on the website, but don't specifically come to my town (Concord).

[crunchymama2-3]

Hi..

Have you talked to Mason Cornelius from Nova midwifery? Maybe she's the midwife you mentioned who isn't taking December births? I know when I had my first homebirth with her 3 1/2 years ago she mentioned that she doesn't take any December births, but I'm not sure if that's still the case. She lives in Dublin which isn't too far from you. Good luck with your search

[StarMama]

Yes Andrea, she is the midwife I spoke to who isn't taking december births, but thank you for the suggestion