when is repeating not just about learning the langugage?

[closeknit5]

Hi, this is my first post, so I'm actually posting in more than 1 forum, I hope thats okay. My second child has begun a habit of repeating things. It started with just repeating his older sibling (whom he follows around and adores) but now he will repeat anyone. If I ask him to stop he will, and I gently explain to him I'd like to hear what he has to say instead of him only repeating what others are saying.

Should I provide more detail? Sometimes he'll repeat exactly what someone has said, sometimes he changes a word or two (older sib will say "I want the car" and my almost 3 year old will say "I want the truck".) Sometimes he changes the tone so the statement sort of becomes a question "Its cold outside"; to which he'll reply, "its cold outside?"

There are days where I don't really hear much repeating at all, then other days there is a lot. When I asked his ped about it, she said because he stops when I ask him to, and because he changes words in the sentance, it isn't cause for concern, it may actually be helping him learn to speak more. Have others heard the same thing?

I do notice he can remember certain phrases and will say them the following day. (Older sib says as we get into the car, "I want the blue train!", and the following day as we get into the car again, 2 1/2 year old says "I want the blue train!") His overall language isn't immense, and his older sib, who's 5, from a very young age had a large vocabulary, so I can't tell if I'm unfairly comparing the two or not. Plus the older sib talks ALOT, we often have to ask the 5 year old not to answer to give his younger brother a chance to speak . Overall, my son has hit his milestones, and is very social, is always in the middle when there are kids around, was a very laid-back as a baby, and is really very enjoyable to be around. He did have crazy tantrums when I was weaning him just past the age of 2, but those stopped months ago.

I like my pediatrician, but can't help but ask around. When is repeating not just an annoying habit but a sign of something else?

Thanks, and sorry for the long post... Jamie

[Embee]

I think there is a wide range of "normal" when it comes to how kids process language and learn it. My DS was never a HUGE 'why guy," not tons of questions like many kids, but when he did have a question about something he would ask it a lot over a long (perhaps a few weeks?) period of time... just the one question?! He knew the answer, but continued to repeatedly ask the question. My feeling was it was something of brain/language development. As his language and thinking skills grew, the behavior fell away.

I'm not sure as to your specific circumstance, but my gut says it's just a language "quirk" he has and will likely grow out of it as his language skills move onward and upward. In the way that you describe your DS, he sounds like he's doing really well in all other regards, social and all that. You mentioned his vocabulary isn't yet all that big, and I think this is telling.

I'm no expert. Just my .02 for whatever that's worth.

The best,
Em

[fritz]

I'd agree that it sounds like he's just practicing the nuances of language and not worry about it. My 3yo DS went a different route--since he started talking, he's wanted us to repeat _everything_ he says. He's finally growing out of it and now repeats what we say. Well, mostly repeats what Daddy says.

[mammal_mama]

Well, when I took foreign language, I know we were required to do lots of repetition, to get the accent and pronunciation right. And if you order any of those cassettes to get familiar with a language quickly before travel -- you guessed it, it's probably going to involve echoing back whatever the speaker is saying.

So I'm guessing that repetition is important to at least some people when learning to speak a language -- and more important for some than for others.

If I were you, I'd try to get past being annoyed, and support my dear child in learning to speak and communicate in his own way.

[Mama Poot]

Do we have the same kid? Paddy does the same thing, and his vocab isn't real big either-in fact his 2yo brother has more words than he does. I was worried for a while, but the longer it goes on the more I can see that it really is a mechanism for him to build that vocabulary and get a better grasp on language. Hang in there!

[OboePlayerMom]

My almost-3 yo daughter does that too. She pretty much repeats anything my 5 yo son says. If he asks a question, I'll answer it, and then she'll ask the exact same question. My mom and I were laughing about it a couple of weeks ago, because we really think it's cute. Sometimes I refer to her as Instant Replay. I have noticed her language skills really taking off in the past few months. I would attribute that to her imitation and trying out words she hears her brother say.

Leslie, Mommy to DS(5) and DD(3)

[spu]

same here. even when my girls were in preschool, they thought repeating was what you were supposed to do. I had to tell them that at circle time, they should come up with their own idea and not something someone else already said.

[closeknit5]

Thanks so much everyone. Since I haven't really heard other children doing it, I wasn't completely sure it was a developmental thing or not. It helps to read about others hearing the same thing! The annoying habit part mostly plays in when the 5 yo gets sick of hearing himself repeated (and subsequently socks the 2 1/2 yo...patience is a work in progress for all of us!) The language for my 2 1/2 yo has also recently gotten larger and I keep forgetting that must be a result. Thanks again for the help!! Jamie