Baby boy woesHello...
Congratulations first on having a healthy pregnancy - that's great news!
My partner and I have a five year old girl (who we did not find out the gender of before birth) and a 1.5 year old boy (whose male parts were unavoidable on a late-term ultrasound).
With dd, people would ask us when I was pregnant about "what we would do if it was a boy." Depending on who was asking, I had a number of responses to this question. Pretty much we had already answered all of these with my daughter, but when we found out for sure that we were having a boy, there were a few more who trickled down.
*There is a difference between boys needing male role models as they grow and develop and needing a "dad". Our children will never have a father; they have a sperm donor, a mami and a papi. My own father died while I was young. There was nothing I or my mom could do to control those circumstances and while I was a girl, I found my own male role models as I got older. None of them were my dad. If our children "need" men in their lives, then how about all the kids of divorced parents who live with their moms?
*Children need positive role models of both sexes, regardless of what sex they are. Role models are available every where in our lives if we choose to see them. Positive is a key word here. You cannot guarantee your children positive role models except in yourself. Honestly, I would be hard-pressed to come up with a list of men that I find so admirable that I would want them to present them to my son as role models; the kind of man I would like him to be.
*We interviewed a (female) pediatrician who was concerned that if we had a boy, he would need a male to talk to about masturbation and peeing. I thanked her for her time and told her that if I wasn't comfortable talking about masturbation and peeing, I shouldn't be applying for the job of parent.
*It's OK to say that you'll cross that bridge when you come to it and state that you have many wonderful people in your life to support you and your family. I also like the suggestion of asking the men in your family to step up to the plate.
On another note, I did have some grieving when my intuition about having a boy was confirmed. After hearing everything that people had said to me about me personally having a boy, about lesbians having boys, etc... I was a little scared. I do take it on as a challenge. I think that in our culture, it is now easier to teach girls to be strong and self-assured and that the real change will come about when we teach boys to be emotionally confident and communicative, gentle and self-assured without chauvanism. I also know that I love my son and that I am excited to see him grow into a man who goes out into the world with conscious eyes and a sensitive soul, just as his sister will.
Good Luck & Best Wishes,