Unfortunately it's in the GD Support Group, sigh.
So let me rant a little bit and then I'll welcome all the advice and hugs you mamas can give.
I'm 30 weeks and this is my first pregnancy, at my 26 week appointment I was so concerned about birth plans, c-sections and induction rates that that was all I spoke about with my doctor and when she had sufficiently calmed my fears and even said she'd give me a birth plan to fill out, she added that I had some routine testing for GD to go through and I was just so relieved I said sure with no thought to it. Right after the appointment I was so stressed out about saying yes without thinking it through though.
Two days after the test I get a call from my doctors office telling me I should go in for another test, this time fasting. Sigh. Right after hanging up I collapsed into bed and cried. I went for the second test and I know it went better than the first because I didn't feel like I was having this major anxiety attack nor did I get as much of a pounding headache, but I was still worried, for good reason because again two days later I get a call from my doctors office telling me I have GD and should expect a call from the hospital setting up an appointment with me. I cried after that call as well.
The whole thing was I wanted as 'natural' a childbirth as possible in a hospital since this is my first baby and I just didn't have the resources early on in my pregnancy to plan to have the birth anywhere else. I was worried about interventions and two seconds after getting satisfied that my doctors wouldn't do anything not needed, I end up with a label that will dictate everything and increase the chance of those very interventions.
I feel betrayed by my body, I unfortunately probably had this coming though. I gained 25 pounds in two years and so started off in this pregnancy heavier than I would have liked. My dh and I live away from family and everybody who saw me at 7 weeks when we went for a visit had said I look fat. Every time I look in the mirror now I can't help but get sad that I'm fat. I love my belly, but I look at my face or my arms and
I was stressed about having GD and using a meter that every time I thought about it I would get teary eyed and sulk a bit. After getting the meter and figuring it was not that big of a deal to poke myself (!) four times a day I went in for a followup appointment.
Apparently my numbers are too high sporadically during the last two weeks and so the endo can't prescribe me to go for a walk after a certain meal or can't tell me to stick to my diet because I am sticking to my diet and SO I should start on insulin. This was right after the nurse said my numbers looked good and that my meter was showing numbers 0.5 higher than the lab test showed. (I'm in Canada) When I asked the endo about it, she said there's a 10% cushion with the numbers they expect- so even numbers like my 7.8's were still too high. So again I was happy for like two seconds. I freaked out when I heard "insulin" and so the endo gave me another week. I took this as another week to try extra hard to keep numbers lower but I'm afraid to them its just a week and I'm still ending up on insulin. Oh why won't my body deal with food normally.
Sorry if this post is too long and too random, I think I just had to put it out there. I could go on and on, but basically I have an appointment this Friday and was wondering if anybody could drop some words of wisdom my way. Is there anything I should know before going in?
My dh saw me so depressed , he asked me what would happen if you didn't take insulin. And I didn't know how to answer him, I just kind of stuttered through there's a chance that baby might grow too big, that my amniotic fluid decreases, baby gets low blood sugar... I don't know! When I was in the doc's office she said we should do what's best for this baby, and of course I want what that is, but I don't want to go into what this doctor believes is best for my baby even though I have no clue as to why.
So there I go again with my rambling. I guess we just need to be informed, we're a young couple, nobody in our families has had GD or even regular diabetes, heck, even birth is very hush hush so I'm just wound up from having to learn and prep so much in so little time...