rural families, higher education and teens

[kathymuggle]

I live an hour away from any form of brick and mortar college or University.

While I still have a long way to go, I am starting to wonder how we as a family can facilitate higher education given our location.

I would like my children to have the option of living at home while going to college/Uni - which means moving.

Have any of you moved so children can go to school - or did any of your parents move so you could live at home and attend school?

Of course, when my eldest is 18, my other two will be 15 and 11 and may not want to move. Ahh, balancing the needs of so many.

Kathy

[lifeguard]

The town we live in back home is an hour drive from the university. A good number of students do the commute.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

The town we live in back home is an hour drive from the university. A good number of students do the commute.

I worry about young adults driving that far regularly.

It is an option, though.

Kathy

[capagrl]

I live in a pretty rural area and it's very common for kids who live at home to drive in to the university. Just an idea, but is there any chance you could locate a university employee who lives nearby who might be willing to carpool or just drive your child?

[ziggy]

Are you sure your kids want to live at home during college?

[dawningmama]

You're talkling about the child who is now 12? I think it's hard to judge at this point what that child will want when he's 18. He may very well prefer to go away to college---maybe far/out of state, maybe at the one that is an hour way and come home only on weekends. Or perhaps he'd prefer not to go straight to college---to work or travel. There are so very many options he could take that unless you really want to move, I think it would make very little sense based on a decision someone else will be making so far in the future.

[~Megan~]

If you do move, do it now. Moving during highschool is really hard.

Do you know for you sure your kids will want to live at home during college? Do you even know that they will want to go to college?

[alllyssa]

I can't imagine uprooting my younger children so that I could be closer to my grown child's college. I also can't imagine being afraid to "let" them drive an hour from home.

[lifeguard]

I can understand being uncomfortable with having them drive so far each day but at that age it really is the child's (actually adult's) choice. I think comfort level for me would partly depend on the situation. Where we are it's a divided highway pretty much the entire way - you can't driving conditions much safer. And let's face it with the internet & the way school's are set up & timetables chosen a university/college student does not necessarily need to go to the actual school every day of the week - especially if bad weather is a concern.

[my2kidz]

Most kids that age typically want to leave home to go to college, so I would think moving the entire family would be a little extreme. Plus if they apply for scholarships, they could land up anywhere far from home depending on where they get accepted. My sister is in college in a different state and always comes home to visit on holidays and breaks.

[ChetMC]

I Know

I know a couple of families who've bought a house near a university for their kids to live in. They had four or five kids. Extra rooms were rented out. The house was sold when the kids were finished.

Because the house was near a university campus it was always easy to fill the extra rooms, often the kids friends just rented, and it was easy to sell the house when the kids were done. In the long run it saved money, or even made money. Even in an economic slowdown there is always a demand for housing near campuses.

[Isfahel]

I really think kids shouldn't live with their parents when in college... I'm probably in the minority but I really think kids need to get out there on their own and learn to be an adult in a safe semi-controlled setting. Of course I went to a Christian, small college and it was a great environment for me to "grow up" in. This coming from a super shy, not very socialized homeschooler. Going to a secular, party college is a totally different thing... A little parental control and guidance might be a good thing then.

[Fuamami]

I grew up (and went to hs) about 3 hrs. from the nearest university, and that wasn't a very good one. I chose to go to one that was about 8 hrs away. I can't imagine what I would have done if my family had decided to come with me! I think I agree with Isfahel, even if your kid does go to a party college. But I have noticed I seem to have high expectations of 18 yos.

[ma_vie_en_rose]

Originally Posted by Isfahel

I really think kids shouldn't live with their parents when in college... I'm probably in the minority but I really think kids need to get out there on their own and learn to be an adult in a safe semi-controlled setting. Of course I went to a Christian, small college and it was a great environment for me to "grow up" in. This coming from a super shy, not very socialized homeschooler. Going to a secular, party college is a totally different thing... A little parental control and guidance might be a good thing then.

No, you are not alone here. We feel the same way. I really feel that way after my experience of being home my first two years of college. UGH! LOL

As for living an hour away, I really do not think it is that far. I live in a major city with a university. If our children went to their main campus and commuted from where we live now, it would most likely be about an hour each way with traffic.

[MillingNome]

I've known a nuber of people who bought houses for their kids to live in that were closer to the college. It made sense to them and worked out ok. I personally like that idea better than moving closer to be by a college they may or may not attend... this coming from someone who doesn't have two cents to rub together at the moment. Also, while education is the best possible investment imo, there is no need to having the children coming out more in debt than need be. Living at home will probably be an option for my dc as there are many good colleges around here. They don't have to take it but I would hope they would consider it as it is so costly otherwise. We would finish the basement into an apartment complete with its own entrance (it's about 80% there already...) if that would make them more likely to stay home. If they choose other living arrangements, they will have to cover the cost.

ETA: and with gas so high, extra pollution and the added risk of driving (wasting) two hours of their day, I would rather my kids not live that far from their college.




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[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by alllyssa

I can't imagine uprooting my younger children so that I could be closer to my grown child's college. I also can't imagine being afraid to "let" them drive an hour from home.

I do not think 18 is necessarily "grown". I lived at home till I was 22, DH till 25, and it really was a positive experience for both of us. It is a nice gift to give your kids, if you can.

As per uprooting younger kids - well they may also want to go to college/Uni (alternately, there are also better job prospects in town) - so it is for everyone, not just the eldest, yk?

I worry about my husband driving an hour each way - why the heck wouldn't I worry a bit about my kids???? The roads around here are NOT pleasant in winter. Of course, "letting" has nothing to do with it. An 18 year old is an adult and can drive if he/she chooses - but I am still going to worry a bit.

[kathymuggle]

Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone

I've known a nuber of people who bought houses for their kids to live in that were closer to the college. It made sense to them and worked out ok. I personally like that idea better than moving closer to be by a college they may or may not attend... this coming from someone who doesn't have two cents to rub together at the moment. Also, while education is the best possible investment imo, there is no need to having the children coming out more in debt than need be. Living at home will probably be an option for my dc as there are many good colleges around here. They don't have to take it but I would hope they would consider it as it is so costly otherwise. We would finish the basement into an apartment complete with its own entrance (it's about 80% there already...) if that would make them more likely to stay home. If they choose other living arrangements, they will have to cover the cost.

ETA: and with gas so high, extra pollution and the added risk of driving (wasting) two hours of their day, I would rather my kids not live that far from their college.




.

Thanks for the reminder. It is so much cheaper to live at home, which is another reason it is under consideration (although not now - for the future). High student debt is not fun.

[Sage.Naissance]

I lived 2hrs from the closest college but I didnt want to go to that one, I would have never lived at home while going to school anyways, I say consider letting your kids live on their own(rather in dorms or rooms in apartments) its a good experience.
That being said I also moved to a different country on a different side of the continent for university so I dont know.

Moving is also a huge expense, and espcially if you are moving into a more urban region, if your kids get a part time job and rent an inexpensive apartment with friend I dont see it being much more expensive than making a drastic move.

eta: regarding commuting: a very important part of university/college life is community and things going on at school, if they have to drive in for each class they are less able to spend time on campus and go to events at the school and get into their community there. Consider that.

[CarrieMF]

I wouldn't.

We lived 3 hours from any university, 1.5 from any small private college. There were 4 of us.

I moved 6hours away to go to college in a different province, it was the furthest I could get with the least argument. My sister & 1 of my brothers went to the same university 3 hours away. My other brother went to a regional college in the same city the other 2 went to school in.

We all took out student loans, mine & my sisters are paid off, not sure on my brothers.

We currently live in a city where they can take college or some university transfer classes. While it will save them money if they want to live here, they may choose to go to any other college even in a different province like I did.

[LynnS6]

How good a university is it? Is it likely to have the kind of programs you think (hard to judge when it's 6 years away) that your children would be interested in? What are your kids like? My oldest niece needed to be at a university near home, the next couple down the line needed to be a good distance away from their mom and dad.

For my nieces/nephews who are now in college, they got a decent combination of school support and family support so that they do not need to take out huge loans.

Since there are so many unknowns, I'd only move if: You're unhappy with your current community (or what they have to offer teenagers), you/your husband works an hour away and moving closer would reduce his commute/gas/carbon footprint, and/or you'd be happy living in the kind of community you would be in if you moved closer.