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phimosis after circumcision - help! - Page 3

post #41 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
Why ask the question if you aren't going to trust the answers you get?
isn't that what AP-type parents do all the time with mainstream doctors? we ask the doctors questions, get info from other sources, and decide if we trust the doctors' answers.

i think that in general parents are way more likely to trust a doctor whom they talk to face to face than a group of strangers on the internet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsymom View Post
I feel much more educated on what is happening with my son now and many of my fears about letting it be have been eased.
i'm so glad that you found resources to help you and your son!

Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsymom View Post
If you hope to persuade more parents to leave their sons intact, I think you will be much more successful approaching them from the perspective that they do care about their sons & provide them the information to make the right choice.
i agree with this 100%. i think that if whimsymom had been less resolved to find more resources to help her son, she might have left this forum before she found any helpful resources.

thinking about circ makes me feel physically ill, but i think that if we show parents a little more compassion, they will be more receptive to thinking about what circ actually is.
post #42 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsymom View Post
We are now using the cream and are going to see the urologist Monday.
Please let us know how it goes tomorrow. Don't let the dr pull the skin back....and by "pull" I mean "rip". It will most likely cause bleeding and it will definitely hurt and there's no theraputic reason to do it. Oy, I shudder to think about that. GL and hope that it all goes well.

April
post #43 of 76
: And please, please guard your son's genitals like a hawk so the doctor doesn't retract his foreskin (like, be physically right next to him/her w/ your hands ready to slap). A forced retraction will only cause your son more unnecessary pain and damage (scarring).
post #44 of 76
Good luck
post #45 of 76
Best of luck and like the pp's have said make sure no one pushes back his foreskin remnent. All that will do is cause pain, bleeding and more scare tissue.
post #46 of 76

Hope it goes well tomorrow. Just wanting to echo everyone else-- don't let anyone push, pull or retract the foreskin. It happens in a second. Heck, it happens if your daughter has labial adhesions! Happened to us, thankfully, it healed well, but the doc did it completely without warning, and it did hurt, and DD bled. : I had no clue a doc would do that. I always thought it was "if she can pee, leave it alone." Didn't know the doctor I saw that time didn't know better-- and she was female! Some docs aren't very open to "current literature" or just don't care because the problem is "fixed" or want more $ to fix a problem they created...

Good luck at the doc tomorrow. Don't be afraid to be firm and assertive with the doc. Think about it this way, if it were your daughter, would you want them poking and prodding and ripping? Nope. I've found it unavoidable (because i ony have a DD) to compare what is done to genitalia in our country boys versus girls. The big difference is it is illegal to do to girls since 1996. So docs with training after 1996 know a little about treating female genitalia... wish it would catch up with the boys.

Hope you luck out and get a knowledgeable doctor.

post #47 of 76
Before the doctor even examines your little one, let him know that you do not want him to separate the foreskin in any way from the glans. He will probably tell you why he "needs" to, just be firm and say you do not give permission to retract, separate, or in any way manipulate the foreskin. And no, he does not need to "see" the glans. It is still there, it hasn't disappeared. His main concern should be whether or not your son is peeing fine.
post #48 of 76
Yes, I am VERY scared for you to go to the Urologist again. His/Her BUSINESS is Circumcision and I believe they are going to try to explain to you every reason in the book for forcible retraction, more circumcison. :cry: I REALLY hope I am wrong, but unfortunatly I suspect I am correct. Have you thought about cancelling until you can find a foreskin friendly doctor???
post #49 of 76
Where are you from? Who is this Urologist you're going to see tomorrow? We will help you check this doctor out and if he is like most American doctors who are ignroant of the normal male anatomy (the foreksin is normal) DON'T GO TO THAT DOCTOR PLEASE! We will help you find a good foreskin friendly doctor. PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE CAUSE ANYMORE HARM TO YOUR SON!!!
post #50 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lirpasirhc View Post
isn't that what AP-type parents do all the time with mainstream doctors? we ask the doctors questions, get info from other sources, and decide if we trust the doctors' answers.

i think that in general parents are way more likely to trust a doctor whom they talk to face to face than a group of strangers on the internet.


.

BUT you're paying a doctor for his/her services, so it's ok to be demanding with a doctor.

However, when you're asking strangers on the internet to take their (unpaid) time to give you information and resources, perhaps you (people in general) could be less demanding and more polite about how you ask for reassurance regarding what they say.
post #51 of 76
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post #52 of 76
whimsymom:
I do not understand why you are being attacked for asking for more information. I think that you would be wrong to blindly accept anyone's advice

I am truly baffled at some of the things that people are saying to you.

I hope that you can just take the helpful information and ignore the rest. Good luck with your son, you sound like a very strong woman!
post #53 of 76
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post #54 of 76
I agree Toolip, I'm totally thrown by some of these replies.
post #55 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toolip View Post
whimsymom:
I do not understand why you are being attacked for asking for more information. I think that you would be wrong to blindly accept anyone's advice

I am truly baffled at some of the things that people are saying to you.

I hope that you can just take the helpful information and ignore the rest. Good luck with your son, you sound like a very strong woman!
I'm the last person who would ever want to do that!!! Please correct me if I'm out of line with my post. I'm trying to be supportive and helpful but if you perceive my post to indicate otherwise, rebuke me. Its the only way I'll ever learn.


Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitful womb View Post
Where are you from? Who is this Urologist you're going to see tomorrow? We will help you check this doctor out and if he is like most American doctors who are ignroant of the normal male anatomy (the foreksin is normal) DON'T GO TO THAT DOCTOR PLEASE! We will help you find a good foreskin friendly doctor. PLEASE PLEASE DON'T LET ANYONE CAUSE ANYMORE HARM TO YOUR SON!!!
post #56 of 76

Coming from a mother who has a circumcised son.

I went back to read this thread more closely.
Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsymom View Post
I think I need to clarify why I asked that questions. First, of all I only intended this question to the posts that were screaming at me not to cut my son, but not giving me any reasons to back up that advice. Second, I didn't mean that I intended not to take any of the advice given here because it was coming from people whose sons weren't circumcised. I was just asking for more info to back up the answers. I was sure you all have a set of knowledge & resources that led you to your conclusions and I wanted that information. I don't know you, so unless you give me more than just your opinion, it doesn't make any sense for me to blindly accept that anymore than I want to blindly accept what the doctors tell me. I already made a really bad decision based on well intended, but incomplete & wrong information. If I didn't want an alternative to having my son cut again, why would I have chosen this forum for advice? Most of you seem to understand that and have given me a lot of help. I feel much more educated on what is happening with my son now and many of my fears about letting it be have been eased. I'm not writing this toward any of you, just to the few who seem determined that I'm somehow out to hurt my son. If you hope to persuade more parents to leave their sons intact, I think you will be much more successful approaching them from the perspective that they do care about their sons & provide them the information to make the right choice.
My ds1 was circumcised. The reason I would go against a doctor cutting anymore than is already cut, is because I made the assumption that your ds could pee.

#1. If the skin is adhered to the glans, he has a good chance of lengthening the foreskin he has left. This is a good thing. My ds had hardly ZERO skin left but what was left did re-adhere and it resulted in a buried penis. I was advised to separate the glans from the attached skin, daily. I didn't do it. As he grew, more skin grew. Then it separated on its own when he was 3 yrs old. Great, but it still wasn't enough skin to accommodate normal childhood erections (can be caused without being aroused: I wanted to be clear on that). This was excruciating for him. He would have SCREAMING spells out of nowhere, in the store, the car, at church. The screams would last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes long.

There just wasn't enough skin.

I have to go, baby is crying. I'm trying to help. I'm sorry for what you're going through.
post #57 of 76
whimsymom-

So how did it go today?
post #58 of 76
Thread Starter 
The doctor was very gentle with DS. He did give some good news that he thought it is unlikely DS will get to the point that he can't pee or that that was any other immediate danger, which was a huge relief to me. Otherwise his opinion was pretty depressing. He said there is no need to do anything in any certain time frame, but he doesn't think that his foreskin will ever be able to retract without surgery. He said this is "true phimosis" as opposed to the kind of phimosis in intact boys. What makes it different is that DS has so much scar tissue. The pinhole that he can pee through is a tight ring of scar tissue and scar tissue does not stretch like regular foreskin. It's worse than an adhesion where a small part is attached because the scar tissue is so tight and all the way around. I'm not going to take this as the final word, but it does make me very sad.

I would definitely like a second opinion. We'll be in the San Diego area until December and then in Seattle. Can anyone recommend a doctor in either place? I haven't heard back from the doctors recommended by nocirc, but neither are in this area and I can't blame them for not wanting to volunteer their time for a phone consultation when the damage is already done. I might try to call again this week.

I'm sorry if my questions have sounded demanding. I didn't intend that. I assumed you would only take the time to answer if you wanted to help & I think my desperation probably came across as more demanding. I do appreciate all the time you've invested in helping me.
post #59 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsymom View Post
He said this is "true phimosis" as opposed to the kind of phimosis in intact boys
this doctor is SOOOOOOOO full of $%^&&**((! "true phimosis" can NOT be diagnosed before puberty!
Don't worry, mama. Your son will most likely be just fine. All you need to do is to make SURE NO ONE (doctors, day care workers, family members who watch him) retracts him. If possible, let your son have as much diaper free time as possible, so he will be playing with his penis (my son is 3y.o. and is not even close to being retractable. He plays with his penis alot and this way is helping the prosess along).
post #60 of 76
As long as he can pee, he is fine. Even IF he needs a surgery, please let HIM make this decision about HIS body when he is old enough. Perhaps, when he is older (16 or so) if indeed it doesn't retract on its own, simple stretching exercises will do the job just fine.
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