hello

[kcummins-bakko]

HI, I just found this forum and wanted to get involved. I had a boy on July 18 by cesarean. It was awful. After 72 hours of labor at home and at a birth center, I had to go to the hospital and one thing led to another and then to the OR. I had planned on a natural child birth and was (and am) absolutely devasted by the way it turned out. Of course, I have my beautiful son who has made my whole life better but I find it hard when people say that is all that matters. I still need to acknowledge the pain of my birth story. And, I am finding it hard as an attachment style parent when others in that category act as if I skipped to first and most important step of ap by not having him naturally, I feel that is really blaming the victim. How have all of you put your birth stories into perspective? Do you have anysuggestions for me?
Thanks, and I am glad to have found you all!!
Katy

[ladylee]

Hi Katy-congratulations on the birth of your son! Did you mean for this to go in the cesarean support thread? When you ask the question about putting the birth in perspective, I think just allowing yourself to feel every feeling without guilt, and validating yourself is a very helpful way to reach acceptance. I found it helpful to write it all down, to talk about it (please feel free to share your story with us in the support circle) and to look at my disappointments head on. I had an emergency cesarean 3 years ago and in ti me I reached closure, but I had to acknowledge that in spite of having a healthy beautiful baby, I was still angry, mourning, sad, and resentful. All the best to you-it's so important to acknowledge these feelings. Come join us in the circle if you like.

[chichimama]

HI there,

So sorry your birth didn't go as planned. I understand your feelings well. I am on the ICAN (international cesarean awareness network) email list and wanted to pass along that information. THere are so many women there who can relate. The email list was a lifesaver to me and really helped me to go on and have a better birth the next time around.

To get on the list go to ican-online.org

It is such a great list, and everyone understands how a healthy baby isn't the ONLY thing that matters.

Take care,

Joanna

[kcummins-bakko]

Hi thanks for the responses, I really appreciate the thoughts. I did intend to send that message to the cesarean support thread, I guess it didn't work, can you help me figure out how to do that one? I am very interested in writing my birth story and also continuing the conversations with you all. I plan to check out the ICAN website, thanks for the suggestion. I am glad to meet you all via this site and I look forward to more interaction.
Katy

[Missgrl]

Hi Katy
I'll respond with some words later! Glad you are here with us