I think I have some fears that I'm not dealing with (sensitive)

[greenmom4]

Right when I found out I was pg, I think I posted about a very close friend of mine who recently had gone through a stillbirth. I was very paranoid at the beginning of pregnancy but mellowed once I was well into the second and third tri.

Now, I'm starting to worry again. Now that I know I'm at term, I'm starting to want baby out while I know he's still...alive in there (isn't that a horrible thing to say). I've had nightmares about going through a stillbirth pretty frequently as of late and I'm sure it's going to hinder my ability to go into labor peacefully. I'm really not sure how to just let all of that go and proceed like everything will be okay. Where to even start with something like that?

[kochanyk]

Talking about the fear is good! I have the same fear to some extent- I think it's fairly normal (had a friend who lost her baby at 36 wks). I have other fears too. Is there anything that would make you feel more at ease? Maybe more monitoring during labor would be an asset for you considering the fear.

[greenmom4]

I don't think I'll really feel ok until babe is earthside. It's been a little difficult too, because my doctor has been on vacation, is going out of town again and just doesn't schedule appts when he's gone. Although this week I'll be seeing his partner, just in case, but I'm not super excited about that, either (there's a reason why I see my doc and not his partner!).

I haven't really talked about this with anyone, I think I'm a little embarrassed and don't want to be too morbid at what should be a happy time.

[Ayame87]

That's exactly how I've felt! I told my DP that I hate the longer he stays in me cause I feel like I don't know what's going on. Like, there's nothing I can do. Whereas if he were outside, I feel like I know what is going on at all times...

i've seen pics of peoples babies born at 40 weeks, and it scares me!! All that work, just to be dissapointed! Omg I don't think I could handle that at all.



Vibes to all healthy, living babies

[Klynne]

I agree that talking it out is a really supportive thing to do. Also just facing a fear can dissolve it or take it's "power" away. I mean, if one is afraid of something bad happening, just accepting the fact that, ja, it could happen can be extremely helpful.

Hope that came out right. All the best to you!

[naturegirl]

I think these fears are a lot more common than one would think. Many women (about 30%) have had a pregnancy loss (mostly early m/c) so people either have had experience losing a baby or know someone who has. It is normal to want them in front of your own eyes to be sure all is o.k. I think once you start into labor you will hopefully be so focused on that that you will be able to birth without too much fear.

and happy labor vibes to you.

[Surfer Rosa]

I think it's normal to have horrible fears about your baby, whether it's labour related or worrying that something is "wrong" with your DC.
I think the thing is to address them directly with yourself (talk over with your partner) rather than let them fester in your imagination. Birthing is really empowering, but it's also a really vulnerable time: you're not really in control of what's going on. I know that all kinds of things could go wrong, and I've thought about how we'd deal with them, but I focus on what I *can* do, and keep my energy focused on that.
Good luck mama, and hugs,

[holothuroidea]

Think about all the healthy babies we've had just in our DDC! :
Talk your fears out, acknowledge that they exist and then try to stay positive.

[barefootpoetry]

I've been having morbid thoughts lately too. It really freaked me out for a while, I thought I was having some horrible psychic premonition or something. But the fact is that a woman who is a bazillion months pregnant is quite literally teetering on the cusp between life and death. She is heading into such potentially dangerous unknown territory, with the intent of bringing new life out of it. It's such a unique place to be in the universe, complete with its own unique, sometimes strange, energies. Thinking about death, or worrying about it, seems pretty normal when we are in the midst of this whirlwind of creation. It's not necessarily a negative thing. I don't really know how to describe it...hopefully you get my drift.

[cameo]

This is my 4th pregnancy and the other 3 all went off without a hitch, yet I have those fears this time too, because one of my closest friends now did lose her baby about 38 weeks. Also, I have, unadvisedly, read too many posts in the loss forum. What I do now to reassure myself is try to stay very cognizant of movement, especially last thing at night and first thing in the morning. I also try to remind myself that losses are the exception rather than the rule, even though they are what stay in your mind, the healthy births are much more likely.
Like the previous posters have said, don't feel guilty or embarassed, but let it out there to address it.

[~Megan~]

can you speak with a "Birthing From Within" counselor?

[redebeth]

Originally Posted by cameo

This is my 4th pregnancy and the other 3 all went off without a hitch, yet I have those fears this time too, because one of my closest friends now did lose her baby about 38 weeks. Also, I have, unadvisedly, read too many posts in the loss forum. What I do now to reassure myself is try to stay very cognizant of movement, especially last thing at night and first thing in the morning. I also try to remind myself that losses are the exception rather than the rule, even though they are what stay in your mind, the healthy births are much more likely.
Like the previous posters have said, don't feel guilty or embarassed, but let it out there to address it.

This is how I feel. I have been so fortunate to have had the births and children that I have, that I feel like maybe my luck is running out. I hate saying it 'out loud' though.

Thankfully, this baby is big on wiggling, but I still panic everyday when I suddenly realize I haven't felt anything for a little while. It's ridiculous.

[Mamatolea]

I hear you all...I thought I was the only one who would freak out if I didn't feel him move for an hour or so...not that he is a lazy one, he kicks me pretty regularly..

But I have more than once made DH wake up to "talk to the baby" and wake him up to feel him move.

I have never had to deal with a birth loss before but I too have heard stories and it works me up, so I try to stay on top of the movement as well.

You aren't alone, it's a rough road sometimes, this pregnancy journey!