Originally Posted by aprilv
and if the communication and lack of respect are so bad in a marriage that divorce is warrented, then i think blaming it on circ is an excuse. if it wasn't circ, it would be something else.
So it would be the same thing if your DH wanted to cut off your daughter's labia and clitoral hood? Cause I wouldn't want to be married to that guy, or a child molester, or a torturer, either. It's want Dr. Phil would call a "deal breaker"... so, um, it is a big deal to me not to surgically mutilate and defile my children (now that I know what circ is all about, at one time I didn't.) Just because they can't remember doesn't mean a thing. What kind of mother and wife would I be if I consented to my husband paying someone to do something that is, to me, child sexual abuse?
I didn't have much of an opinion until the day before we found out the gender of DD. I did a tiny google search. Saw the % of complications and % of doc who use anesthetic.... And that night ended with me screaming "over my dead body" and Dh ended up drinking whiskey and crying that how could anyone love him because he had been mutilated as a baby... oh, yeah, that went well. The whiskey didn't help. We dropped it for about 3 years after that, when I stumbled on here. Now Dh is restoring. Some of the men in my family are intact, some are circ'ed. My grandma wouldn't let the doc take her baby when he was born, so that's how it became our family tradition... but I'm in one of the two highest circ'ing states in the nation, and didn't know until about a year ago that circ was really painful! I'm lucky, I at least had some knowlede of people who bucked the system and penises that didn't have any problems. My youngest half-brother was circ'ed and my mom actually said over her dead body was that happening again (I was 9 and it was at the dinner table)... so, I had some background on it. Enough for me to not be comfortable circ'ing even before I knew the big picture.
Anyway, Dh and I weren't married when the circ conversation went down, but we were expecting our first. And I would have left/kicked him out. So... yep, there would definately, for me be underlying issues too horrible for a mairriage to last if my partner couldn't respect our child.
***and really, to those who didn't know better at the time, this post is in no way intended to belittle you or make you feel like a child-raping mysogonist. I don't think that of you. But i do think that of the doctors who promote and continue to practice this barbaric surgery.***
And i apologize for being so darned rambly today! It's hard for for me to get these sentiments to come out right in type.