How would you handle this car situation?

[Mrsboyko]

DD has a few toys she likes in the car. One is "baby" the other is "puppy" and she usually has a drink and a snack to. We drive about an hour each way to work/ day care M-F. Every time we get in the car, I get her set up with all her stuff. At some point, she drops wither baby or puppy and expects me to pick it up for her as she can't reach it. She is 20 months and still RF in her seat in the middle. It hurts my arm to twist around not to mention that i am driving, sometimes on the highway. I can see her through the mirror and most of the time, she isn't dropping her babies on accident, she is throwing them down. I have tried to explain that it hurts mommy to reach back there and i can't get baby right now, or wait till we are stopped. She just doesn't get it and screams till I pick it up for her. If hte baby is out of my reach and I can't reach it, I do tell her it is to far away and she needs to play with something else, but she still screams and gets super frustrated, which frustrates me as I am trying to drive (and not hit anyone). So, what would you do? Ideas? Strategies?

[Mosaic]

I'd probably tie 'em on there somehow so that she could pull the string and get 'em back. Although my DD quickly got tired of toys that she couldn't throw away. So I usually try alternative distraction techniques, as I play and sing along with kids CDs, sing other kid songs with her, point at motorcycles or buses out the window, name all her friends at daycare, talk about what she'll do there, etc.

[skybluepink02]

Honestly, I drive 2 2 year olds around pretty often. I've just had to stop getting dropped toys. They don't like it, but it's just NOT safe to grab around for a toy while you're trying to drive.

What I do is explain as soon as we get into the car that if they throw the toy, Chloe can't get it while she's driving. You'll have to wait til we get to the place we're going.

After that, if they throw it, I tell them I'm very sorry but I can't get the toy. I put on a CD and sing in a silly voice to keep them happy. If they're still unhappy I just keep telling them that I'm very sorry but it's "dangerous" to get the toy while I'm driving.

I have to admit, it wasn't fun at first. However, I was communicating with them and using alternatives to keep them happy, so I personally don't feel like it was CIO. The fact is, my responsibility is to keep these two little guys safe when I'm driving. I would so much rather they be unhappy than unsafe


Oh yeah, it really only took about a week for them to figure it out (at about 18 months) Now they either keep whatever they want in their hands, or don't cry if they throw it down.

[Carma]

I also always tell our DD that I cannot get it because I am driving and it is dangerous if I pick up the toy. She has accepted it. Only sometimes when she does drop something by accident and really wants it I stop and get it, or I get it at the red light.

Carma

[jjawm]

I do the same thing as Sky Blue. I tell her that I can't get her toy if she drops it when we drive.

But I also keep a stash of toys on the seat next to me, and I'll do my best to hand her a new one if she gets hysterical.

[Ruthla]

My guess is that she's learned that you WILL pick up these toys, so expects you to do so and cries when she doesn't have them.

I would change the rules, starting the next time you drive with her.

Warn her first. Explain that it's not safe to pick up toys while driving, and you won't be doing it anymore. If you want to keep the toy with you in the carseat, you need to keep it close to you. If it drops or gets thrown you'll get it back when we arrive at our destination, not before. (but you might want to use smaller words. )

Then ride out the tantrums that will inevitably ensue, and by the next week she'll stop crying for toys in the car.

[Mrsboyko]

Ah, that is what i thought i was going to hear. My only question is will she remember that 30 mins ago she did have hte toy and threw it, or will she just get pissed becasue she doesn't have it now, and not really remember why she doesn't have it?

I know she understands what i am saying, but since i have been bending and picking it up for her, I am sure she is expecting it now.

Okay, so game plan is straings attached to baby and puppy and seat first. If she foils that plan, then I refuse to pick them up.