Can't keep it together . . .

[allborntogrow]

Long story short:
I'm so stressed. My husband isn't helping me and I really, really just about lost it last night, so I called my mom who sent my sister over to pick our son and me up. I just needed to relax. My husband told me not to go because she would just stress me out more, but I thought she would understand. I just really wanted to lie down and watch TV or something. Sure enough though, as soon as we got there my mom started yelling about who knows what - sleeping arrangements or something - and she did stress me out more, so I called my husband to come back and get us, even though he was the last person I wanted to see.

I don't know what to do. Without even getting into all the details why, I can't calm down or relax or anything. I think I need to go to the hospital . . . but I don't know what part to go to. I'm worried that the way I feel is not good for the baby. What am I supposed to do? Should I go to the hospital?

Thanks.

[Shiloh]

Why not! Go to L&D no one else will touch you - got in a car accident pregnant emerg sent me to L&D without being anywhere in labour.

I hit prodomal labour for 4 days solid, cont every 5 minutes without let up and a MIL on my couch...the L&D nurses saved my sanity, helped me with relaxing..explain the situation...do not sugar coat......maybe they will admit you for OBSERVATION you never know.

[holothuroidea]

Why do you feel you need to go to the hospital?

If your husband understands that you are stressed than why isn't he helping? Does he have a lot going on or something? Maybe you just need to ask for help. I know that sounds stupid but really men are pretty clueless... maybe you should just tell him exactly how you are feeling and that you need to calm down and relax because it is affecting your ability to gestate.

My husband knows that he needs to help and I need to rest/relax... he knows that if he doesn't he's going to get so many beatings. Beatings from me, his mom, my mom, and especially from the midwife. So, threaten him with beatings!

Maybe you need to cut down on your responsibilities... allow the house to be a little dirty, get someone else to entertain your son (maybe he can have a sleep over with a friend?), order dinner in... etc.

Be gentle with yourself.

I hope I helped maybe a little. It's so hard sometimes. I'm no good with these things, just try to stay positive.

[ChristSavesAll]

I was feeling like this last week too! I wanted so bad to get away from everyone! I was one argument away from taking ds and going camping for a few days.... I told dh that I was too stressed out from all the attitudes floating around from him, my mom, and ds... He started working on it a bit and that helped a lot, then I talked to my mom and told her I didn't want to hear anything she had to say about how she thought I should be handling things (I wasn't really very nice about that,but I'd had enough of her telling me what I should and shouldn't do about everything) After talking things got better...

Perhaps you should try talking to them too, you dont always have to be so nice, you are preggo and they kinda expect you to go crazy once and while...

Maybe if that doesnt work you could just go out for the day and get a mani pedi, go on a little shopping spree and then stay in a hotel for a couple days to get relaxed (being gone should get dh to realize how stressed you are too).


Good luck!

[becomingme]

Oy. This sounds rough.

At the very least, can you get some mini-breaks? Go on a walk by yourself, perhaps? Just enough time to get outside and catch your breath?

And I couldn't agree more with holothuroidea -- men can be completely clueless, and sometimes we need to tell them *exactly* what we need from them.

Tell him what the issue is, and how you're feeling as a result. Make sure he understands the impact it's having on you, and that you fear it could have on your little one. Then tell him - point by point (perhaps even make a list) - what you need him to do to support you in winding down this pregnancy and having the best birth you possibly can.

And maybe mention what you'll need from him postpartum too..perhaps not the complete list, but put some of it out there so that he knows he's not off the hook once the baby comes.

Hang in there, mama.

-nk