May not have a midwife after all

[amydidit]

I'm really upset right now. I'm supposed to have a midwife appointment this Friday but we're having major trouble finding the money. She requires a large down payment ($265) and then $100 each appointment. It wouldn't be easy, but we could probably find the $100, but we just can't come up with $265. So we contacted her today, I guess hoping she'd be willing to work with us, barter, let us pay $100 now and $265 later, something. But she's not. :

I understand where she's coming from. She is the one in her household that brings in the money, I know she needs a paycheck. I fully understand that. I just don't know what we're going to do know. I've gotten in touch with a few other midwives before and she was the only one I liked, and the only one who seemed willing to take me as a patient. (One of the others never called me back and another said she'd only take me if I had co-care with an OB because of my size.)

I feel so depressed right now.

[baileyandmikey]

I am so sorry, you will find another mid wife soon, don't give up hope yet!

[amydidit]

Thanks. I'm trying not to give up hope, but it's not easy right now. I'm looking again to see if there anyone I missed. We're moving to Denver and I didn't call ALL of them up there. But so far everyone I've found costs more than the one I can't pay.

Being poor sucks. But it also makes me more and more determined to become a midwife myself (when I can afford school LOL). I want to be able to be a midwife for women who can't afford to pay $3000 flat fee, or who can't make large deposits.

[vanessab23]

Originally Posted by amydidit

Being poor sucks. But it also makes me more and more determined to become a midwife myself (when I can afford school LOL). I want to be able to be a midwife for women who can't afford to pay $3000 flat fee, or who can't make large deposits.

If you're sick of being poor, becoming a midwife won't solve that problem!!!!!! We get paid so little for all the time and effort!

My first job (in a birth center) as a midwife I was paid $7/hour.: Midwifery school is long/involved and expensive-- okay what I am I saying....you should totally do it so that you can offer that to other women, not trying to be a downer, sorry! (I just HATE that we are soooo undervalued in the US)

As for your situation, you will figure it out-- don't give up! If you reeeeeally want a midwife you will find a way. That was my line of thinking when I started working from home-- just to have extra money for this kind of thing. PM if you want more if you want more info about what I do, because it sounds like even a mere $300/month could fix this for you.

I'm sorry she won't barter or work with you-- who knows what else is going on in her personal life...maybe she just bartered with someone else and can't afford to do it again. I've gotten burned twice by bartering or allowing for late payments and it sucks when you have to feed a family.

What about finding a midwife that is on the newer side?

Good luck mama and please update us so we know how it's going

[amydidit]

Oh no, I know being a midwife won't make me not poor. I want to be a midwife because I've been there though... trying to make the best birth choices and not able to afford it. I've felt the calling to be a midwife since I was pregnant with DD1, 12 years ago, and have been slowly working toward it. I'm not looking to it to make a lot of money.

I contacted a few more midwives tonight. One of which advertises on her site that she works with low income families and offers extended payment plans and bartering. And she turned me down. If I absolutely have to I'll go UP/UC, but I really wanted a midwife with me during labor and birth.

And I know this midwife has her reasons. It's her business after all... doesn't mean it doesn't suck though.

[amydidit]

And one more midwife turned me down. The last one turned me down because she doesn't feel she's close enough to where we're going to be moving to. This most recent one though because she doesn't believe a pregnancy/birth should be hands off. Wow. I thought I'd contacted a midwife, not OB. Her response to me sounded just like OB's I've talked to before.

[bc1995]

Amy, can you just put off your first appt for a few more weeks to have the extra time to come up with the money? Good luck. I hope it all works out for you!

[Finding Serenity]

Do you have any doulas in your area that are close to getting certified as midwives. You may be surprised to find one that is very educated in midwifery but just not certified yet. They may offer you support and have decent experience that will help you if you need it if you end up with an uc.

[madrone]

Amy, you're in the states, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be in this exact position. I'm not in the states, but I understand that WIC covers pregnant women. If you're poor, would you qualify for WIC? I realize it varies from state to state, but I thought they would do birth centers and midwives in some states because of them being so much more cheaper than hospitals. Looking into it to it might be worth a try.

[veganmama719]

Amy I am so sorry, this must be so frustrating and upsetting for you. Midwives are provincially funded here so I can't relate. However, PP had a good suggestion about putting off your first appointment for a couple of months to come up with the $. I know my midwife isn't interested in seeing me until at least 12 weeks. That said I go to my GP for bloodwork etc in early PG.

Good luck sweetie!

[My*Scorpio]

[wunderbubble]

Originally Posted by vanessab23

If you're sick of being poor, becoming a midwife won't solve that problem!!!!!! We get paid so little for all the time and effort!

My first job (in a birth center) as a midwife I was paid $7/hour.: Midwifery school is long/involved and expensive-- okay what I am I saying....you should totally do it so that you can offer that to other women, not trying to be a downer, sorry! (I just HATE that we are soooo undervalued in the US)

The problem is your not undervalued....most of the population just doesn't have that kind of money to just lay out...

Doctors are ridiculous in what they charge...

So i guess only rich people have a choice ...the rest of us are guinea pig fodder for hospitals...<---this is just how i am beginning to feel because even though i am not poor ....i can' t afford to get decent care and i am terrified of obgyns and pedi s .... there is no choice unless you have a million in cash in the bank...without a free flowing supply of cash ...noone wants anything to do with you...

Midwife or Doctor money comes first...which is understandable to a degree but realistically both are financially impossible.

[amydidit]

Originally Posted by Finding Serenity

Do you have any doulas in your area that are close to getting certified as midwives. You may be surprised to find one that is very educated in midwifery but just not certified yet. They may offer you support and have decent experience that will help you if you need it if you end up with an uc.

This I'm not sure about. Worth looking into though. I hadn't thought about that.

Originally Posted by bc1995

Amy, can you just put off your first appt for a few more weeks to have the extra time to come up with the money? Good luck. I hope it all works out for you!

It's true I could put off the appointment to come up with the money, but then what happens later if we can't make another payment? Or we have trouble paying the remainder near the end? I don't want to be stuck without midwife because I can't afford to pay exactly on time. I know it's a business, I really do understand that, but I just don't think needing alternative payment arrangements is really all that bad. Maybe I'm wrong though?

Originally Posted by madrone

Amy, you're in the states, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be in this exact position. I'm not in the states, but I understand that WIC covers pregnant women. If you're poor, would you qualify for WIC? I realize it varies from state to state, but I thought they would do birth centers and midwives in some states because of them being so much more cheaper than hospitals. Looking into it to it might be worth a try.

Yeah, unfortunately I'm in the states. I've never known WIC to help with pregnancy/birth costs. I've only known them to assist with food.

Originally Posted by wunderbubble

The problem is your not undervalued....most of the population just doesn't have that kind of money to just lay out...

Doctors are ridiculous in what they charge...

So i guess only rich people have a choice ...the rest of us are guinea pig fodder for hospitals...<---this is just how i am beginning to feel because even though i am not poor ....i can' t afford to get decent care and i am terrified of obgyns and pedi s .... there is no choice unless you have a million in cash in the bank...without a free flowing supply of cash ...noone wants anything to do with you...

Midwife or Doctor money comes first...which is understandable to a degree but realistically both are financially impossible.

This is a lot of the reason I want to become a midwife. I want to be able to provide midwife care to women who can't afford to shell out $3000. Or can't afford a large deposit. Etc. Of course I'd *like* to make money from it, but if DH is able to get a better enough job to where we're not struggling as much then I want to do it. Maybe this isn't realistic, I don't know, I don't care. It's my dream still.