My son is coming home! - Page 2

[alima]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

I know there are people on here who will say that smoking MJ is not a bad thing. It does not lead to a dead end life or other criminal behavior. I've never known anyone who used MJ on a regular basis and wasn't essentially a bum. All the people I know of who used it regularly couldn't get a decent job and couldn't hold any job for long, didn't work regularly, didn't finish their educations.

Most of my family still smokes regularly, and are all professionals with responsible jobs. I'm not a fan, but haven't seen dope do any real long term damage or slow down people's lives. What I don't like about MJ, and what I've passed on to ds is that, beyond a bit of experimentation, what point is there to repeatedly have exactly the same experience, over and over again, probably with the same people, for years. That's what my fam and friends who still smoke do, and while they are perfectly happy people with jobs, kids and responsible lives, it's all a bit pathetic that they are still reliving their teen years on a daily basis. At some point, you really should be finding something new in your life, ykwim? and smoking dope tends to kind of kill that.

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by alima

Most of my family still smokes regularly, and are all professionals with responsible jobs. I'm not a fan, but haven't seen dope do any real long term damage or slow down people's lives. What I don't like about MJ, and what I've passed on to ds is that, beyond a bit of experimentation, what point is there to repeatedly have exactly the same experience, over and over again, probably with the same people, for years. That's what my fam and friends who still smoke do, and while they are perfectly happy people with jobs, kids and responsible lives, it's all a bit pathetic that they are still reliving their teen years on a daily basis. At some point, you really should be finding something new in your life, ykwim? and smoking dope tends to kind of kill that.

Haha! Like that commercial that says nothing ever happens when you smoke MJ. Then it shows some guys sitting around doing nothing all the time.

[spero]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Yeah, my ds knows under no uncertain terms that it's not allowed in the house. I don't search him or his room, though.

See, I have no problem randomly tossing my kid's room for drugs. He's lied to my face and covered up enough crap that I figure he's lost any right to privacy. The first time we caught him smoking dope (right in the house, directly above my office where I was working at the time! ) he lost his bedroom door for a year.

I can't control what he does when he's out.

Yup. Which is why, when we caught him again in the spring, DS got completely grounded and we confiscated his car until graduation.

Forgot to say, my dh is much more harsh about it than I am, too.

So hard for us mamas to be caught in the middle, isn't it?

[theretohere]

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[harrietsmama]

Originally Posted by MarineWife

Yeah, talk about bad modeling. Apparently, the X and his father smoked MJ with my ds a lot. It has now become a habit for ds. I have to figure what, if anything, to do about that. We talk openly about it. He knows I don't like it.

I went through this with my dad, supplying, not living with, lived with workaholic mom & sd. I was smoking heavily, very isolated at home and very unhappy.
I moved in with my Grandma and she gave me a clean slate. as long as I answered who what when & call if anything changes, I could do most anything. About a month after living in her loving very full of life home, I quit on my own. It just didn't hold any interest for me. I hope it will be the same with your ds

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by harrietsmama

I went through this with my dad, supplying, not living with, lived with workaholic mom & sd. I was smoking heavily, very isolated at home and very unhappy.
I moved in with my Grandma and she gave me a clean slate. as long as I answered who what when & call if anything changes, I could do most anything. About a month after living in her loving very full of life home, I quit on my own. It just didn't hold any interest for me. I hope it will be the same with your ds

Thanks for that. I hope this will happen with ds. He was very isolated at his dad's. No one had a driver's license and the car they had isn't legal (although that didn't keep them from driving ) and they rarely had money for gas. His dad left him alone a lot without any food or money or any way to get anywhere.

[imahappybrat]

You should be so proud of your son!

[MarineWife]

Thanks. I am very proud of him. He's at a GED math class at the community college right now. He decided he should take the classes rather than the independent study because he wasn't very good about going when he did the independent study.

On another note, he just told me that his dad is a meth addict. (We broke up when I was 6 months pregnant because he was addicted to crack.) He'd been using openly in front of my ds while he was living there. DS said he didn't try it. He never would. He knows it's really bad stuff. He's always said that and I believe him. I could tell by the way he was talking that he was really disappointed by his dad's behavior. He said his dad was probably having a hard time in jail but it was the best thing for him if he would get him away from the meth. I feel so bad for him that he had to deal with that. It's kind of funny because I told my dh a while ago that I wouldn't be surprised if ds stayed with his dad because he felt like he needed to take care of him.

[redveg]

Congrats:::

[onelilguysmommy]

aww, wow. im so happy for you! it made me tear up when you said your dh is such a sweetheart that he would give up sleeping to go pick up your son. wow, what a loving guy! i wish id have had one of those!

as far as the weed, i know for sure that threats dont work and taking away stuff most likly wont, either. my kids dad's dad used to smoke with him (theyd get into wrestling fist fights over arguments stealing each others. :sigh: ) as long as hes away from the people who had him into it, and youre positive, hopefully encourage him to get a job at somewhere like a store store, like target, and not like mcdonalds. at least here, the stores DO drug testing and none of the food places do, ever.
my kids dad and his idiot friends used to smoke AT WORK and noone did anything. he went through 17 and 18 almost permanently high, and i am not in the least bit exaggerating, he would tell you. and i know, i was there. crying and begging him to stop, but i was there. he was in with the kind of people who are bums sitting around acting stupid getting high all day, and not smoking to relax or for medical use, etc and it was really upsetting. hopefully your son only smokes some and he can gradually (or not..can you get in trouble if its found on him? i know some places you can..) quit.
im really glad he made the choice to come home and didnt get into the other crap his dad was doing even though it was right there. that shows a lot about your son