please bear with me here. I have a story to tell and then a question to ask.
to begin with, here's my story with dd. i went off birth control pills and my periods were just not coming back. 6 months, 5 months long cycles. crazy stuff. at that point we weren't using protection any more. we decided that if it happens - it happens. i stopped believing that we'd be able to conceive without help. my cycles were crazy. then my boobs started hurting like crazy. I couldn't move my arms at all. it lasted for a while and i thought that it was PMS and I was about to get my period. but the period just wasn't coming. we were leaving for a vacation overseas, so I decided to test just in case. it was negative. we went on vacation and there I had days when I wasn't feeling myself, but I brushed it off thinking it was because climate, weather and time zone changes. we drank a lot there. i remember this very cold night and we were in a restaurant, ordered a full pitcher of house wine and we drank it all, just dh and I. so we got back home and I had a really hard time dealing with the jet-lag. I whined about that in my LiveJournal a lot. I didn't realize it, but apparently I also whined a lot about food. My LJ friends convinced me to test and ... ta-da! it was positive. I was in shock. I figured we conceived during our vacation and I was probably 6-7 weeks along. But let me tell you - when I saw the picture on the ultrasound screen I knew right away. I said "This is way father along then 6 weeks". It was 12w6d. I was beyond shocked. If I take the ultrasound date as the correct one, I did that initial pregnancy test when I was 5 weeks along and it was definitely negative at the time.
Now, onto present. I have recently stopped nursing my 3 year old, and we decided it's time for another little one. My cycles are still inconsistent, but for the last year and a half, I was getting terrible, terrible hunger about 2 weeks before AF. Hungry to the point of feeling lightheaded and I'd be hungry like that all the time. Well, last time I had this - beginning of July. Then I got my period. A much lighter version of the usual, no cramping at all and much less flow, but I thought it was a period. Since then I decided to watch closely for changes in CM. I've been dry-dry-dry all the time, but last week I got another period (with a cycle length of 31 days. quite short for what I've been getting, but I figured it's due to me stopping to nurse). So light in fact, that I was just calling it spotting. But the mysterious spotting lasted about 7 days and it's now gone. Weird, I think. I had no changes in my CM between these last two spotting bouts/periods (I don't know what to call them any more). Also, I never got that bout of hunger this last time. I am not noticing any other symptoms, though. I tested a couple of days ago and it was negative.
Am I crazy to think that I might be pregnant? My only clues are these last two weirdly light periods that I got. I can't say that I feel overly tired, hungry or nauseous. Am I insane? I think I'm gonna test again tomorrow morning to see if I get a BFP. I cant say I have high hopes, but these crazy periods are driving my psyche crazy.