Originally Posted by Kristine233
I think each family needs to do what is right for their family and children. children mature at different ages and can handle responsibilities at different ages.
My only hope is that families that choose to parent differently don't judge my parenting methods only because they don't agree with them for their families. I'd also hope that they don't put me down when discussing our choices to their children, because that is judgment as well.
I can tell you what I tell my kids. It goes something like this:
12 yo DD "Mom can I go see the new batman movie? Please please please ALL my friends are going."
Me "No it's not appropriate and I don't want you watching it."
12 yo DD "Mom, everyone's mom is letting them go."
Me "That's fine for them, their parents get to make those choices, and I get to make the choices for my kids and you aren't going."
12 yo DD "OK."
12 yo DD "Mom can I walk home with Julie after school and then take her dog to the park that's a mile away?"
Me "No, I don't think that's safe."
12 yo DD "But her mom said it's ok, and she's letting her, please mom?"
Me "Her mom feels safe with that, and that is her decision, I am not ok with it, so the answer is no."
12 yo DD "OK I'll tell her, maybe we'll just do something else."
Me "I would be okay with you walking the dog if you stay in Julie's cul de sac."
12 yo DD "Okay well we'll just do that."
And the talks we have about other kids out after dark etc, like 8 years olds that we don't even know whom we frequently see out after 9 pm in the streets have been like this:
12 yo DD "Mom there is a kid alone outside right now on the street out front."
Me "Well either their parent is ok with that, or they maybe don't know their child is out there."
12 yo DD "I don't think that's ok."
Me "Well I don't either, which is why you aren't out there. We don't control other people's choices and some people are more relaxed, now stop staring."
I don't judge anyone, if I think something is unsafe I tell my children so- parenting is all about making JUDGMENT calls. If you feel judged by that, well that's not my issue. I feel judged by people who think I'm overprotective, but it doesn't bother me. I'm ok to disagree.