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But they said they'd come early!!!!!!

post #1 of 39
Thread Starter 
After every one telling me I'm only 100 lbs and 5 ft and that 60% of twins come before 37 weeks, and that ideal is 36-38 weeks. I was on bedrest for 2 weeks, excited and anxiouse for my twins to come AND my dr. telling me "you'll have the babies this weekend" or "you'll have the babies this week" When I was almost 36 weeks I was happy and elated.

I was happy when I made it to 36 weeks, excited and releived when my dr. said the twins would be here asap, with all my contractions I had been having.

Well now I'm almost 38 weeks, my feet are soooo swollen! I've gained 55 lbs, my twins are measuring over 6 lbs each, my ligiments HURT, my ciatic nerve HURTS, my stomach looks like a road map of stretchmarks! It's hot, it's humid, and I'm soooo READY to be done!

I was really optimistic about a natural birth, I had one with my son, and yes it hurt but I felt like I could do it. Now I'm so big and already in pain I don't know if I have the strenghth to do it! I'm feeling really down and dumpy, cheated, negative

Hubby and I have been having sex for over a week, even though it's very painfull, I've been using primrose oil vaginally, and drinking a quart of loose red rasp. leaf tea a day. I have really strong and consistan contractions...
"monkey labor" but am not dialated at all! With my first born I was 4 centameters and totally thin cervex at 37 weeks! I had him at 39 weeks.

Now I'm 38 weeks and only 50% thinned and NO DIALATION, what are these contractions doing other than keeping me up at night? I've been on the eliptical the past couple of days for 10 minutes at a time. I don't know what else to do.

I have been crying to my husband, he's such a good listner. I really need a hug! We're stationed in Korea and the dr. said he can induce me with some cervical ripening gel, but only at 4 pm? I guess so he can go home to his family by 5!!! Then he said that he would monitor me all night, and do pitocin in the morning. I would just be exhausted. He said he'd turn off the pit and resume "natural labor" if possible. But I just know that monitoring all night would keep me up at the hospital, and what if I go into labor that night? All tired and hooked up to things. Pleh! I told him I'd wait another week atleast, 39 weeks, I never thought I would make it this far. Instead of being happy I feel sad.

What's wrong with me? Any advice to help cheer up a worn out mama?
post #2 of 39
no advice but
post #3 of 39


I know it doesn't seem like it at this moment when you are in so much discomfort and pain, but you are doing an AWESOME thing, mama! Every days those babes are inside increases the odds that nursing will go well and that they might not need any medical attention or NICU time -- which means a much easier start for all three of you. I had my girls at 37 weeks and my singleton at 40. I was AMAZED at how much more work it was to nurse 5 -1/2 pounders with floppy necks who wanted to sleep all the time compared to my almost 9 pounder with a strong neck and eager desire to nurse... yes, I was able to do both, but it was a piece of cake with my full term son.

Do as much as you can to treat yourself -- get a pedicure if that sounds good to you, get a massage, go out to eat, watch bad TV, visit a friend... but know you are doing important work right now, and the babes WILL be here so soon. I don't know if I would look into inducing unless I felt there was some kind of medical reason for it. I also want to reassure you that birthing the second time around (even twins) can be VASTLY different -- for me, it was fast and easy -- my body changed at a different rate re: dilation, etc. each time, so don't be discouraged if it's not exactly the same this time around.

Hang in there, mama! WE're rooting for you!
post #4 of 39
I think everyone on this board can appreciate all that you are going through. We were all "told" by someone that twins never make it to term, and so I know for myself, at 30 weeks, I was trying to prepare myself for the potential of giving birth after having a friend deliver her twins at 30 weeks. Then I went for 8 more weeks, and it felt ridiculous that I had even considered it a possibility that they might come early. Like PP said, you really do want to "cook" twins as long as possible. The peri I consulted with told me that even though a lot of people call 37 weeks "term" with twins, it isn't term for them, and if anything, they need MORE time to develop. That being said, he was still offering to strip my membranes at 37 weeks!
I was getting close to 38 weeks when the swelling set in, and I gained over 80 pounds (I'm only 5'3"), so I can appreciate the body piece. I don't know what access to alternative care you have over there, but I was getting chiro adjustments up until the end so that I could feel good going into birth. Is resting possible for you at this point? I know it's hard, and I have no perspective on carrying beyond 38 weeks, but actually I'm jealous of all the women who did There are a lot on this board, and I know it was no cake walk for them, so maybe read some old threads, and know that we are all rooting for you to have the best possible outcome for you and your family.
post #5 of 39
Ouch! I've been where you are when I was 40 weeks. And I went for the induction with cervical ripening gel. (I did pitocin and cervidil.) It was awful. I had mild-moderate contractions for several days but didn't make any cervical progress or changes. My body wasn't ready. Plus being in ahospital with everyone watching to see if anything is happening is AWFUL! Plus you can't eat.

I know it is hard but I would encourage you to be patient and let your babies have the time they need. Someday you'll see your feet again and you'll have two healthy babies in your arms when you do it!
post #6 of 39
im sorry you are uncomfortable. my twins were born 10 weeks early and i would have given anything to have made it to 38 weeks. Your little ones will be with you, you wont have to be sepatated from them, you wont have to travel every day to be able to touch them or have to wait to even be able to HOLD them. You can chnge their diapers and dress them and nurse them on demand. Things mamas are supposed to do with their newborns

I know this is little consolation, but just try to enjoy these final days because it wont be long.
post #7 of 39
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with this, mama. I do remember how hard it was to be that far along and it did suck but do remember that your body is doing what is healthiest for those babies and you're very lucky to still have them in there. My advice - let go. Stop trying to self-induce. Just attempt to relax and forget about this ticking time bomb thing you've got going in your head. If possible, get out of the house to do something fun each day. Make plans unrelated to the babies. Do stuff! Or, just lie in bed and read/watch-tv/whatever and enjoy it b/c life is about to get crazy-hectic! You think *this* is hard!?!? Just wait - it's wonderful once they're here but it's a whole new kind of crazy. So relax and take it one day at a time. They WILL be here soon enough and you'll be grateful when they're plump and breathing great and able to latch on just fine, etc. You can do it! Fwiw, my size & general discomfort was a non-issue in labor. I don't think it's something that even phased me at the time.
post #8 of 39
Those last few weeks are really hard : I did NOT want to have my babies before 40 weeks but I found myself hoping to go into labor by the time I got to 37 weeks too. Try to relax and just let things happen. They will come out and they will come out very soon and it really is the best thing for them to let things happen naturally and let them come when they are good and ready to. Hang in there!
post #9 of 39
You can do it, I promise you! I carried my two to 39 weeks and about 10 days before they were born I felt very much like you do right now. I was MISERABLE! Everyone kept telling me that the newborn phase would be harder but, er, it isn't. I hated that last 3 weeks of pregnancy. I couldn't move, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had CONSTANT contractions, was horribly swollen, my hands and arms were almost completely numb, and peeing was a freaking chore (the babies were on top of my uters so I had to wiggle and lift my belly and do a freaking dance to pee). Oh, it was horrible!

But so, so, so worth it when my big old healthy babies were born. They were 6.6 and 7.6 and we didn't have one speck of latch/sleepiness issues. My milk came in after about 3 days and it's been smooth sailing. No one was seriously jaundiced and no one had to ever be separated from me.

You CAN do this. Try to find your place of "zen" and let go.

ETA:
Natural child birth was not harder with twins. In fact, it was a little easier because when I realized I was in labor I could not. stop. grinning. ANY pain that was coming was worth it to just get them out!
post #10 of 39
when i got to the point that i was really uncomfortable and ready, i just kept reminding myself that there were twin moms out there who would have killed to have gotten as far along as i was and been able to take their babies straight home from the hospital w/o any NICU time. that always readjusted my perspective pretty dang quickly.

labor started for me the night after i finally let go, stopped trying to self induce, took a long hot bath and found a little corner of gratitude and peace in my heart and mind to hang out in. natural birth is often about surrendering to the process even before it's begun. it's when we fight the process that there arrise issues.
post #11 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoisLane View Post


I know it doesn't seem like it at this moment when you are in so much discomfort and pain, but you are doing an AWESOME thing, mama! Every days those babes are inside increases the odds that nursing will go well and that they might not need any medical attention or NICU time -- which means a much easier start for all three of you. I had my girls at 37 weeks and my singleton at 40. I was AMAZED at how much more work it was to nurse 5 -1/2 pounders with floppy necks who wanted to sleep all the time compared to my almost 9 pounder with a strong neck and eager desire to nurse... yes, I was able to do both, but it was a piece of cake with my full term son.

Do as much as you can to treat yourself -- get a pedicure if that sounds good to you, get a massage, go out to eat, watch bad TV, visit a friend... but know you are doing important work right now, and the babes WILL be here so soon. I don't know if I would look into inducing unless I felt there was some kind of medical reason for it. I also want to reassure you that birthing the second time around (even twins) can be VASTLY different -- for me, it was fast and easy -- my body changed at a different rate re: dilation, etc. each time, so don't be discouraged if it's not exactly the same this time around.

Hang in there, mama! WE're rooting for you!
Exactly. Congratulations that you've kept 'em cookin' so long! Mine were less than 34 weeks and it's hard having preemies! But I totally feel for you I can't imagine how uncomfortable you must be. But pat yourself on the back

I look back often at my kiddos birth and wish that I could've prevented their prematurity. You'll be able to look back and be so glad you stuck it out and waited it out and it WILL BE totally worth it!!!
post #12 of 39
:

I'm 5"1, gained 75 lbs. sorry i can't write much now, but i know how you feel, it is almost over! just think that in the grand scheme of your life this last little bit is nothing. i made my dh have sex with me, nipple stimulation, bounced on my exercise ball, ate spicy food, walked. . . they were happy where they were. i had pit, dr. broke my water and end result was a c/s. I went 39 wks 3 days. i'll be thinking about you, they will be here soon and then i want to see some pics!
post #13 of 39
I'm 5 ft as well .... carried my boys to 37.5 weeks, and they were both over 6 lb each.

Like all of the PPs ... I was miserable as well. What kept me going ... knowing that every day I kept them inside, they were growing bigger and stronger, and the chances of them going to the NICU were dwindling away.

I had prodromal labor for what seemed like FOREVER, then when the real thing hit, IT HIT LIKE GANGBUSTERS ... woke up in the middle of the night, and was crowning by the time we got to the hospital.

You can do it!!
I agree with a PP ..get a pedicure, enjoy some ice cream, etc.
post #14 of 39
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1stTimeMummytoLore View Post
labor started for me the night after i finally let go, stopped trying to self induce, took a long hot bath and found a little corner of gratitude and peace in my heart and mind to hang out in. natural birth is often about surrendering to the process even before it's begun. it's when we fight the process that there arrise issues.
Same here.

I think people, though well-meaning, do a HORRIBLE disservice to twin moms by insisting that twins come early. Sometimes they do, MANY times they don't.

Just realize that they'll come when they're ready, and that some babies are ready later (or sooner) than others, but you can't make them come before they're ready without risking an adverse outcome.

You can do this! I remember how hard it was, and don't envy where you are right now emotionally. But we all got through it, and I know you can, too!
post #15 of 39
Hang in there mama! You are doing a great job!

I felt the same way with my first set of twins. Everyone said they'd come early and I set myself up for that so by the time 36 weeks came I was miserable and felt "overdue." They came at 39w1d.

This time around I am sharing in your misery. The hot summer makes it even harder to be patient! I'm 35+weeks and find it hard to remind myself that I have another 5 weeks to go still. I feel like they could come at any moment!

Just a few more days/weeks! You can do it!
post #16 of 39
HANG IN THERE! You can do it!
I went at 38 1/2 weeks, FINALLY! I know your pain, I truly truly do!
I went through it all - the clown feet, the pains, the crying, the waiting waiting waiting, the predomal labor, the heartburn, the lack of sleep (who can sleep with a belly that huge?!), the primrose oil, the sex, the raspberry tea, and even accupuncture!

Remember this, I know it's hard (SO hard), but try to remember this...your babies and your body will work together perfectly, when the time is right to do so. The babies need just a little more time in there for some reason. For us, it was baby B - she didn't nurse quite so well in the beginning (born 6lb 10oz) and dropped a full pound before she started gaining again. It was scary, and if she has weighed even a few ozs less, well, she would've needed intervention they said!
So, be patient just a little while longer - but I do promise you, when your babies are here all that pain and suffering was worth it - REALLY! Mine just turned a year and I can barely remember how terrible it was (your post really brought be back though!). lol
But it's totally worth it - you are giving your twins a gift that most twins do not get - a great bill of health!
Good luck and please do let us know how your birth goes - it's very soon now, REALLY!!! *hugs*
post #17 of 39
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaeliz View Post
That being said, he was still offering to strip my membranes at 37 weeks!
I was getting close to 38 weeks when the swelling set in, and I gained over 80 pounds (I'm only 5'3"), so I can appreciate the body piece. I don't know what access to alternative care you have over there, but I was getting chiro adjustments up until the end so that I could feel good going into birth. Is resting possible for you at this point? I know it's hard, and I have no perspective on carrying beyond 38 weeks, but actually I'm jealous of all the women who did .

I asked him to strip my membranes something common in the US I think! But he said he didn't feel comfortable doing that? And if he didn't feel comfortable doing it I sure wasn't going to let him try! I heard acupuncture is very common here in korea and can induce labor so I'm going to try that soon.

I have been on the eliptical 2x a day for about 10 mintues, trying to help labor along. I rested a lot with my first born but I'm just ready for these girls to come out I am feeling better reading all the great non judgmental replies though. Thanks you girls and your advice are really helpfull and comforting.

I've also decided not to let him induce me next week
post #18 of 39
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
You can do it, I promise you! I carried my two to 39 weeks and about 10 days before they were born I felt very much like you do right now. I was MISERABLE! Everyone kept telling me that the newborn phase would be harder but, er, it isn't. I hated that last 3 weeks of pregnancy. I couldn't move, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, had CONSTANT contractions, was horribly swollen, my hands and arms were almost completely numb, and peeing was a freaking chore (the babies were on top of my uters so I had to wiggle and lift my belly and do a freaking dance to pee). Oh, it was horrible!

But so, so, so worth it when my big old healthy babies were born. They were 6.6 and 7.6 and we didn't have one speck of latch/sleepiness issues. My milk came in after about 3 days and it's been smooth sailing. No one was seriously jaundiced and no one had to ever be separated from me.

You CAN do this. Try to find your place of "zen" and let go.

ETA:
Natural child birth was not harder with twins. In fact, it was a little easier because when I realized I was in labor I could not. stop. grinning. ANY pain that was coming was worth it to just get them out!
Oh Yeah, that's just how I feel too, mizzzerable. I was feeling so bad for saying it outload too I'm glad I could come here and express it with out people telling me to suck it up.

My first born was born in a birthing center at 39 weeks, he had preme lungs and was in the nicu for 2 weeks. We weren't sure if he would make it. Then he had problems breastfeeding for 6 months until the dr. realized he was tongue tied. I didn't give up then and I won't give up now.

I really want a "natural birth" and to hold and nurse my babies right away since I didn't get to with my son and this is probably my last pregnancy. I'll keep looking at the posative side that these babies will be big and healthy, and any time uncomfortable is worth it, including the stretchmarks that just keep getting worse every day.

Thanks so much ladies. You have really helped me.
post #19 of 39


We've almost ALL been right where you are and managed to make it. YOU WILL TOO! And you're right, with a neonate history like that, you want them to stay inside as LONG as possible. Just rest Mama. Trust me, you WILL need it!
post #20 of 39
Way to go! You have a good attitude for these final days.
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