23 m.o. DD is lashing out at the family cat

[acupuncturemomma]

Wow--my first post in GD!

Up until the past few days, she's been really gentle with our kitty--gentle pets, kisses, etc. But, wham, all of a sudden she's throwing things at her, kicking her, and trying to wail on her with various items.

I haven't known what do do other than reinforce "we don't hit the kitty, let's be gentle with the kitty." When she tried to hit the cat with the vaccum cleaner hose wand attachment I took it away and told her why.

I'd love any other suggestions!

She also has never bitten me before, but has done so two times recently. It's happened while we're in the car--she likes to hold hands while I drive (no flames, please, I can reach her with one hand and still drive perfectly well.) She nuzzles me and is all sweet and then--chomp on my finger. I screamed out of pain and surprise, which set her off crying.

[whalemilk]

When this happens here (and it's usually because the kid is trying to play with the cat but getting way overly controlling about it) I do several things consistently and right away:

1. Take away whatever implement or toy was used to hit the cat, wielded at the cat, etc.

2. Say "no. We don't hit kitty. We only pet kitty nicely."

3. Make sure kitty is OK, out loud, as though kitty were another person. "Are you alright, kitty? It hurts to get hit, I know. I'll kiss you and make it better."

Then if the behavior continues, I seperate them for a while. Kitty doesn't mind being in the bedroom because there's a window and food and stuff in there, so I just close her in there for a while to let her not get hit and the kid to "cool off." And I make sure to say out loud "kitty is going to rest in the bedroom for a while because she doesn't want to get hit. We're going to have some quiet time out here to calm down."

ETA: the reason for "3" is I have noticed that hitting the cat became an attention getting behavior. If I was busy in the kitchen, for instance, I'd immediately come in to discipline her for hitting the cat. So instead of paying attention to her and rewarding that, I pay attention to the victim. It worked almost instantly, actually, and we haven't had any major incidents in quite a while.

[acupuncturemomma]

Thanks for the suggestions, especially #3. I would never have thought of that, but it makes sense. We will keep at it; DD now is trying to kick the cat every chance she gets.