discussing the biology of death

[Stinkerbell]

Maybe "biology" is not the right word. My almost 4 year old is fascinated with anatomy and biology....he knows a lot about the topic. Recently, he's been asking questions about death and specifically, what happens when you die. "Where did Papa go when he died?". We visit my father and grandfather's gravesites very often and he understands HOW they died...it's the AFTER part that has him baffled.

I tried to explain that your body decomposes and goes back into the earth but the concept was over his head. I also discussed what I think happens to the spirit and that led to a million questions about what a "spirit" is. We are not christian and religious beliefs do not apply to our particular feelings on the topic.

I'm not "answering" him, it seems. he asks again and again and we both seem very confused at this point :

Any advice or references??

[MusicianDad]

If your not squeemish... you can do an experament, at least so he can see the biology side of it. Not that you have to go out and kill something. But find a way to show the decomposition in someway, a fruit or veggie is probably the best since they tend to go south the fastest.

As for the spirit, and what happens to it when we die. Good luck with that one. All grown up here and I still don't quite get it.

[caudex]

As far as the spirit goes, if you don't have a religious opinion on it, I think it's fair to say that no one's really sure, because you can't see spirits. If you want to get into it, you can say different people have different ideas on it, which will induce several thousand more questions, I'm sure.

For the physical... do you garden? A compost pile is a good example of decomp. You can put things in and show how they break down. If it wouldn't upset him, you could say that some things eat dead stuff, just like we eat meat and vegetables (dead stuff), and so after people die... they're eaten. Is he interested in bones at all? You could talk about skeletons of animals and look at pictures, if it would make it less emotional, and how that's what is left eventually.

[timneh_mom]

We just lost both our kitties last week and buried them under a wonderful old weeping willow we have in our back yard. I was trying to explain to DS (3.5) that their bodies will go back to the earth because that's where they ultimately came from.

I am not really Christian either, but I tried to explain that the little spark that makes someone alive and gives them their personality is probably still somewhere... I told him that our cats are together now (spiritually). I am sure as he gets older and we encounter death again, he will have more questions. I am not sure I believe in God, but I do think our life energy (spirit, soul) has to go SOMEWHERE when we die. Since energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

I like the compost pile idea. My son has seen dead worms on the sidewalk too, all dried up because they came out during the rain. I don't have the heart to tell him that's what is happening to the cats though... I just can't go there just yet. (Can barely think about it like that myself... it's too heartbreaking...)

[ma_vie_en_rose]

Great thread. I have been dealing with the exact same issue with DD1. She is very, very curious about death. We always have fresh cut flowers around the house, so I have used those as examples of decomp. I have also said that a lot of people have different beliefs about what happens as far as afterlife, but that no one is certain about any of it.

[eepster]

There is this book When Dinosuars Die.

[Surfacing]

: