Almost 9 and wants a bra - Page 2

[littlest birds]

It's not necessarily "growing up so fast"

What could be more natural than imitating adults?


I understand that there are a lot of over-mature/inappropriate trends in popular culture that affect young kids and push them into teen/adult experience too early. This doesn't feel that way so much to me. And I'd rather choose to treat it as something fun and okay than act like I have hangups about it toward my child.

Why does ANY girls' fashion imitate adult women's fashions that were originally designed for breasts? Baby doll tops with triangular shapes over little girls flat chests for instance. Princess dresses with heart-shaped necklines or a bodice shape. Bikini swimsuits with a bra-like top. Children are so often dressed in ways that echo or imitate adult clothing and most of it doesn't make us blink an eye. It just seems like a choice of perspective: Is it a cami? A brassiere? A short undershirt? A costume item? Girly play like make-up and hair styles and jewelry that all imitate adults?

Even little girls will sometimes call something a bra in dress up. My 5yo dd called her two-piece swimsuit top (cropped tank-style) a bra. Even w/o much outside influence, if mom wears a bra it's no surprise a child would pretend one. I would allow a 3yo, a 5yo, a 7yo to wear a bra under their clothes if they wanted. If it's sexual at all, it's wholesome and positive anyway.

[harrietsmama]

Originally Posted by deeporgarten

It's not necessarily "growing up so fast"

What could be more natural than imitating adults?


I understand that there are a lot of over-mature/inappropriate trends in popular culture that affect young kids and push them into teen/adult experience too early. This doesn't feel that way so much to me. And I'd rather choose to treat it as something fun and okay than act like I have hangups about it toward my child.

Why does ANY girls' fashion imitate adult women's fashions that were originally designed for breasts? Baby doll tops with triangular shapes over little girls flat chests for instance. Princess dresses with heart-shaped necklines or a bodice shape. Bikini swimsuits with a bra-like top. Children are so often dressed in ways that echo or imitate adult clothing and most of it doesn't make us blink an eye. It just seems like a choice of perspective: Is it a cami? A brassiere? A short undershirt? A costume item? Girly play like make-up and hair styles and jewelry that all imitate adults?

Even little girls will sometimes call something a bra in dress up. My 5yo dd called her two-piece swimsuit top (cropped tank-style) a bra. Even w/o much outside influence, if mom wears a bra it's no surprise a child would pretend one. I would allow a 3yo, a 5yo, a 7yo to wear a bra under their clothes if they wanted. If it's sexual at all, it's wholesome and positive anyway.

This is a great perspective. It reminds me of my little boy wanting to be like his sister. He adored her and for a few years he got a hold of her too small glittery mary jane shoes and insisted on wearing them every day. He also loved her glitter lotion and wanted that on after every bath. I let him enjoy these things because I saw no harm in it. Most people thought he was a girl at first anyway because he had the most beautiful blond curly mop head
He got into more traditional boy stuff at his own pace, but he still adores his big sister, and now he tries to use her like a big princess doll, making suggestions about making her princess dresses and how to do her hair and make up:

I hope they always love each other like this.

I agree, in a healthy family environment, none of it has to do with sex, it's more about role play, which *is* healthy!

[imahappybrat]

Yay for buying it for her!

[melissanc]

My oldest niece is 10 and just got her first bra. Then my other niece who is 7 howled till sis got her one as well. What is funny is my DS who is 7 also is now upset because he does not have one!

[Jesslyn]

My little sister is almost ten, and she's been wearing bras for about a year now. It started out as like a cute thing and she didn't wear them everyday. But since she takes after her mom (a early developer) she's had to wear them everyday. I was never comfortable with my Mom - she tried to control my life too much. She'd tell me when to wear a bra, when to not wear a bra and etc. It wasn't a healthy thing. I firmly believe that Mothers have a responsibility to accept and encourage their daughters wants and let them go at their own pace. I think that you handled it perfectly. Good job!

[llamalluv]

By the time I was 9, I was a C cup. Needless to say, I don't think that 9 is too young!

[beansmama]

I didn't get my first bra until i was in 6th grade. I never had large breast, but was chubby and the kids teased me about needing a bra...so my mom bought me one.

The bra you got her sounds age appropriate IMO. I've seen padded push up looking bras in the little girls section of walmart! It blew my mind - just too "adult" for me.

On the other hand I have a neice who just turned 8 and is obsessed with "boobs". She loves to point out how mine are small, her moms are huge - and she cannot WAIT to have "boobs" (this is what she calls them) like her moms (I'm talking DD). LOL.

Kids! What can you do, right?

[listipton]

It's great that she felt comfortable in coming to you with something like this!!! Hopefully it means she'll feel like she can come to you with other questions/wants/difficulities in the years to come!!! i got my first bras right around that age too. They were little white stretchy training bras with blue flowers in the middle...memories! I remember really wanting to grow up (i'm the oldest), but I also remember that i didn't wear them every day until i was about 13 or so when I really needed to wear a bra. Your daughter is very normal and I hope you get to really enjoy these years!!!!

[JenInMpls]

I wanted a bra when I was 11, mostly because the girls in my class were starting to wear them and I wanted to be like my classmates. I didn't need one. I would whisper it to my mom when we were going to JCPenney and she would very loudly and flatly tell me "No. You don't need one." I felt shamed and embarrassed. When I got a bag of hand-me-downs from a friend and neighbor, there were 3 white A-cup bras in it and I thought Christmas had come early.

The funny thing is that I wore them for about a month and then lost interest. But I felt validated. After that my sister hit college and bought me these cute stretchy A-C cup bras at the department store downtown (ooh la la!!) when she had time to kill between buses. Bless her. I don't think my mom has EVER bought me a bra, come to think of it, although she may have given my sister $ to buy them.

At least nowadays, as PP's have pointed out, there are the little camisole or stretchy bralette options.

It's true, they do grow up so fast, but that's from our perspective, too.

I think it's great that you spent the $1 (good deal!) and bought her a bra. Probably she just wanted to find out what that aspect of growing up felt like, and you enabled her to do so and made her feel good about herself.

[AngelBee]

I started wearing a bra around 9/10 and did not have boobs til I was 16

[RasJi7]

I think it's good. I didn't get one until I was 13 and was told by another one of the girls in school that i needed one- apparently everyone else knew that i needed one My Mom was raising me by herself and worked full-time I think she never even thought about it until i came home and told her- then she took me to JCPenny's and I got my first one- still remember it

[AngieB]

My dd started asking for a bra when she was 7 at first I said no you don't need on yet. then when she was around 9 she asked again and even though she doesn't really need it I said yes because I wanted her to feel comfortable coming to me about stuff like that. We picked out some sports bras, at first she had them on all the time. But lately she almost never wears them. Now she wants a real bra. I don't like how the real bra's are all padded and a little to mature, but I probable get her one for the same reason I got her the sports bras.


A funny side note. Dh did not take it well when dd came home from the store all excited about getting her first bra. He kept asking me "why did you buy her a bra." and "She doesn't need a bra does she?"