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Terrible ungrateful rant about baby showers

post #1 of 61
Thread Starter 
My sister-in-law had a baby shower for me last night and it was lovely--great people, delicious food, no dumb games--just the way I like things!

BUT (and I know I am soooo ungrateful and deserve to be struck down, slapped, talked sternly to, and all that) WHY don't people take clues from registries? I don't NEED 5 more baby blankets. I promise. I do actually NEED (and yes, want!) baby nail clippers and a thermometer. Really, I do. I know that's not as cute or exciting, but really, people!

Oh, and I hate ducks and pastel yellow, too. If I didn't also hate pastel pink and baby blue, I would say I wish everyone knew the sex of this baby.

Ok, horrible ungrateful rant over. :
post #2 of 61
I SO know what you mean! I love all of the little 'extras' and luxury items people have given us, but it means you have to go spend $ on all of the stuff you actually need...

Some people think they are being 'boring' by giving you items from your registry, but it is the stuff you appreciate most usually!
post #3 of 61
YOu are not ungreatful!
LOL! I know exactly what you mean!
We registered for some stuff, but i figured that i would put some clothing on there, since i am so darn picky- well, ppl are going to buy what they think is cute- and are going to totally ignore what you registered for- OR not even bother looking at one!

And then, when they do not give gift recipts...GRRRRR...now you are totally stuck with stuff that you do not like, and cannot return!! We were able to return about $150.00 worth of clothing- but the sad thing is- we were given the sale price on everything!!

Ok, go ahead, throw rocks at me too...but you know, when you really NEED some things, that is what registry's are for!! Dont ppl get it? nope, and when it comes to babies, they never will....
post #4 of 61
I have to agree and wonder why people don't get the registry stuff. Seems so obvious to me.
post #5 of 61
I think its genuinely rude of people to disregard a moms baby registry.
I made it super clear on my registry that we NEED cloth diapers. I even wrote a little note on the end that if they couldnt find those exact dipes, any cloth would do. I asked for a few other necessities and then added just a couple cute things...

Shower day rolls around and almost every single person there gave me hooded towels!!! There were so many my grandma said the baby must be ready to join the Klan!! :

and not a single cloth diaper in the whole lot. Instead people gave me bottles (which is weird since i registered for a freaking nursing pillows, lansinoh, and nipple pads!!), pacifiers, and one pack of disposable diapers. The rest was all just useless cutesy crap. It was really frustrating since I was hoping I could rely on the shower to provide us with some of the necessities since we are on a tight budget.

I swear its like people are thinking "she doesnt know what a new baby needs, I know what a baby needs!!"

When I attend a pregnant womans shower, I will be buying her the necessity items on her list. The last thing any of us need is another icky onesie with a scratchy applique...

</rant>
post #6 of 61
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
Shower day rolls around and almost every single person there gave me hooded towels!!! There were so many my grandma said the baby must be ready to join the Klan!! :
This had me guffawing out loud. Way to call it, Grandma!

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. The crazy thing is that I know several of them tried to look at my registry (and eventually succeeded, I think) because they called my SIL to tell her that they couldn't find it, since nobody remembers that I didn't change my name when we got married. So yeah, disregarded.

The one good thing is that my MIL called DH to ask him if she could please buy us a box of disposable diapers, even though she knows that we're planning on cloth. DH told her we wouldn't use them, and thankfully she listened to him!
post #7 of 61
I may be in here to commisserate tomorrow: My mil is throwing me a baby shower. I'm not supposed to know about it but when hubby told me we couldn't take the childbirth express course tomorrow, I got mighty annoyed by his evasive answers and he ended up telling me.

I cheated and peeked at our registry online and one single item has been purchased. Hubby says mil is expecting 30 people. I have a feeling that we'll be getting loads of onesies!

I'm sure no one knows about my intention to CD since it's hubby's family and I haven't been advertising my crunchy tendencies so who knows how many disposable diapers will show up....
post #8 of 61
This is one of the reasons that I am having a welcoming after she is born instead of a shower. I mean there is no obligation to buy anything, but I will get the question: "what do you need now that she is here?"
post #9 of 61
I can understand totally. I am somewhat dreading what useless stuff I will get. Fortunately I have to fly back here with the stuff so anything I won't use I'm either returning or donating. No one will ever know 'cause they'll never see us not using it anyway.

I cheated & looked at my registry & so far only one thing is off of it - but it is our carseat - so that made me pretty happy - I'm guessing a couple people went in together on it as it is expensive. I didn't even bother with clothes on the registry as I know people will just choose what they think is cute.

allisonrose - I'm glad your husband told you. I have a friend who is adament that a pregnant woman should never be surprised. I've always agreed but now that I'm pregnant I REALLY agree. I would hate to be the centre of attention on a day I hadn't bothered with make-up (which is most days) & my hair was all frizzed out (again, most days).
post #10 of 61
I was fortunate with my first that we got a LOT of stuff off our registry. We thankfully got all the big stuff that we registered for and since we didn't know the sex of the baby, we didn't get very many clothes. That being said, we still ended up with a TON of blankets and some other stuff that I admit I have "re-gifted" just being sure that it's not to someone who would have been there. We had two showers for dd1 and got just about all that we needed/ registered for. Of course, it helps that my side of the family is very practical- they all went in on some big stuff (like stroller/carseat combo that has lasted through 2 (going on three ) kids)
post #11 of 61
I know what you mean. I wish people had shopped from my registry. Instead I ended up with clothes she'll never wear, a bunch of blankets, and more onsies than we'll ever need.

I would have rather just had a gathering with friends.
post #12 of 61
Popping in from October - go ahead and throw rocks at me too -- I'm another ungrateful shower ranter. I got so many duplicates of the same exact outfit, it's like, did people even bother to print the registry out and have the cashier scan it?

I got a ton of clothes, all in pinks. Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink. Maybe a few neutral things, which are cute and all, but geez! I'm glad a few people took cues from my registry - I did get the denim overalls I wanted, some brown things, etc. But GEEZ people, just go overboard with the pink, whydoncha?

Luckily - no bottles, no diapers, an only one small pack of pacifiers that I think were only purchased b/c they were Winnie the Pooh (that was the theme of my shower, apparently). So we at least don't have too much of that stuff floating around...
post #13 of 61
Before our first LO was born, I also recieved about 5 yellow fleece baby blankets. The thought was nice, but I did wish that people would have spent their money on the items we would actually use...I had registered for 'the practical stuff'. But, now, with another LO coming, I've turned some of those yellow blankets into cloth diaper liners (poop - pockets), etc. So I guess they do have some use...

I also have a strong aversion to the baby color of yellow...good thing they are diapies now
post #14 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
Shower day rolls around and almost every single person there gave me hooded towels!!!
I completly understand. I had a shower a few weeks ago. There were 50 people there plus people sending gifts. I only got about 15 things off our registry. Also, we are cloth diapering and even registared for cloth diapers and I got five boxes of disposable diapers plus tons of wipes. I can relate to the hooded towel things. We recieved about 16 of them at the shower and about 40 wash clothes. It was so frustrating!!! I am going to have to return the one package of towels I actually registared for because I can't return all of the ones that I got.

I have another shower next weekend and there have only been two more things bought off the registry and still no cloth diapers.
post #15 of 61
Wow you guys make me happy that I haven't had to deal with a baby shower yet, and probably never will.

With number one everybody that offered to host cancelled and they didn't even offer after that. Most of my friends disappeared for the first few months so they wouldn't even feel like they should bring a gift. I did get a pack of polyester washcloths and a pair of size 6 slippers from one person, and a few neat little outfits that I love.
post #16 of 61
Actually, I did get lots of useful stuff for my shower with my first. My family generally pays attention to registries. Weird, huh? A group even went in on the crib we registered for (which, granted, ended up being used about 3 times, but I really had not PLANNED on cosleeping!)

But, this time around you can definitely add me to the ungrateful list. I posted awhile back about how dh told me MIL was going to throw me a shower if we have girl... and I was so MAD about it! We don't need much baby stuff (this is #3), and I really don't want to be inundated with pink outfits. (I do ooh and ahhh over cute girly outfits, but I'm drawn to a variety of colors... any shower I've been to where a girl is expected, all I see is PINK, with maybe a token purple outfit thrown in for good measure... why should any child be doomed to only one shade in the spectrum?).

And I was really upset on behalf of my potential future son, because she was only going to do this if we had a girl... why wouldn't a boy deserve a party, too? I did feel rather ungrateful, as I'm sure MIL means well... but why can't people find out what the mom really wants or needs (I'd much rather have people bring me frozen meals or go in on a cleaning service or something)?

Anyways, I am having a Mother's Blessing with my friends coming up, and I'm so excited for that.
post #17 of 61
Last time, my mom and sister through me a big shower, and most of my registry stuff was purchased.

This time though, like I said, most people just bought clothes. Luckily I was able to return a lot of it (it was impractical). I also, like I said, got lots of blankets and onesies. I don't know why people were pushing for me to register this time. Only one person bought from there!
post #18 of 61
If people can't vent here, where can they? It's frustrating to go through the trouble to register, especially when people are pestering you to do so, and then no one actually pays attention to the registry. It's not the worst thing in the world, but frankly I'm glad people feel like they can let off a bit of steam about it on MDC, and I say have at.

I didn't get a shower either, but I completely understand the sentiment here as I experienced the same thing with my wedding registry. Vent away, ladies. I, for one, don't mind.
post #19 of 61
Well, at least we admit we're being ungrateful wretches! It was the title of the thread, after all!

Plus, I've found that if I vent a little and get it out, then I can let go of those negative feelings, and start counting my blessings and feeling grateful for what I do have. Otherwise, I just kind of stew about something, which is worse.
post #20 of 61
I'm not getting a shower and would love to get anything at this point. We dont have the money to buy anything either. This is #4 for me...but last ds is already 3 1/2...so everything i have is from then. Someone mentioned a after baby party...but right now anything would be helpful and would help cheer this mama up. Plus i'm paying out of pocket for my homebirth. So we are really in a bind. Yes... be greatful that you have something new for your baby.
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