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Terrible ungrateful rant about baby showers - Page 3

post #41 of 61
Ooo ooo... ask for giftcards! I got several at the church baby shower that i had. I was able to buy a few things I really need with the giftcards... truly awesome.
post #42 of 61
Actually, now that I've thought about this more, I have also been on the flip side. I see these huge registries and think about how useless I found a lot of that stuff to be. There are some things I just can't bring myself to buy, even for other people (disposable diapers, petroleum-based baby products, formula, BPA-containing plastic pacifiers or bottles). But I have learned to try to keep their desires in mind, rather than what I found to be most useful... because much as I'd love to change the world, most of my family is just not interested in all my "discoveries" about parenting!

For my cousin's shower, she told me she planned to bf, so I gave her a bf book, some other supplies, a hotsling (with the info on how to return/exchange it for a different size), plus I researched all the bf-help resources in her area (she lives in a different city from me), and gave her phone numbers for lactation consultants, online resources, La Leche League, etc. Well, at the last minute she decided to not attempt bf, and she never even tried the sling. I felt pretty sad that I'd gone through all that effort and she never used any of it. I guess I should have stuck to the registry.

Recently, my SIL had a surprise shower for her second (unexpected baby arriving 7 years after her dd). This was her second. We'd already agreed to loan/give her our swing, and she borrowed back the high chair and bassinet of hers we'd been using. So, I knew she didn't really need any of the big stuff, and since this was a surprise she didn't have a registry. I thought about having a carrier made for her. I just think a good baby carrier is something every mom could use. But, I decided against it, thinking she probably wasn't interested and wouldn't use it, and then I'd be really sad again. I figured I'd let her try out some of our carriers, and if she liked them, I'd get one for her at that time. Well, it turns out she had no interest in even trying any kind of carrier, so it's just as well I didn't go that route.

So, I think showers can be difficult from either end.
post #43 of 61
hahha, one time I was in Babies R Us picking up some stuff when I over heard 2 ladies talking. They had a registry in their hand and were debating what to get.
One lady wanted to buy blankets and stuffed animals, and the other lady was argueing that those things wern't on the list, and that they should get the diapers, and breast pads and stuff.
Well shy old me, lol hormones were runing high that day, I butted in and said, "well if she took the time to register, and let me tell you, it takes forever to register, it must be stuff she realy wants, get teh stuff on the list."

So to the person I saved from the blankets, and the rather ugly teddy bear. Your welcome.



I did have a shower for dd where I got nothing but blankets and cutsy outfits that she fit into for maby 2 months. And this big glow in the dark PooBear. All 3 of my kids have been terrified by that thing. I ended up giving to the thriftstore.
This time around I was thrown a pamper shower. Everyone brought gifts for me. It was so much fun. Lavender rice sock, organic body washes, and foot scrubs, candles, chocolate ect. That was the greatest shower especialy since I have everything I need for a baby.
post #44 of 61
I think registries make it so easy for the buyer. I know I love it when someone has a registry for weddings, baby showers, etc... it makes my life easier, and I know I am getting something they really want. I've never found that there wasn't something on the list that I couldn't afford. Maybe I just have reasonable friends who know better than to go nuts with expensive stuff though. LOL!
post #45 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by joshs_girl View Post
Like others have said, I felt very pressured into making a registry and having it perfect - which resulted in me feeling extremely stressed and several crying fits in the middle of Babies R Us, only to have the registry mostly ignored at my showers.
Ugh, registering at Babies R Us was horrible. Hubby and I spent about 3-4 hours in there debating over this and that. By the end, I was mentally and physically exhausted. We also registered at Target to give people another option and that was better because there was less stuff to look at.

Okay, I have an extra ungrateful vent to add. My mother in law gave us some clothes and bibs and they are just so cheap feeling. I'm sure the bibs came from the dollar store (my mil loves the dollar store and one had a $1 price tag that she scribbled over). A sleeper - in a 24 month size - had a tag from a discount store showing that she spent $2 on it. This is for your grandchild. (Hubby is an only child so this is her first - maybe only - grandchild.) I've bought items for this little one at Ross but I pick out the better quality stuff.
post #46 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommathea View Post
So to the person I saved from the blankets, and the rather ugly teddy bear. Your welcome.
Thanks... I think. lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommathea View Post
And this big glow in the dark PooBear. All 3 of my kids have been terrified by that thing. I ended up giving to the thriftstore.
post #47 of 61
My MIL keeps buying me newborn clothes...and taking the store tags off of them! I mean newborn says up to 8lbs and every baby in my family has been at least 8lbs at birth. I figure I'll just wash a few of them and consign any I don't end up using.

She's having a shower for me and I suggested to her that if people call for suggestions on things to get for me (if for some reason they can't figure out the registry) to make sure they get clothes in bigger sizes and keep the store tags on them so I can exchange for other sizes.

I checked my registry today and finally someone got me the crib sheets and changing pad cover I registered for. My mom actually suggested I put more cutesy things on the registry that I can return to get things I need since people are more apt to buy the cute stuff than the boring stuff.

Oh, and if you get Carter's clothes with only Carter's tags on them, my sister said JC Penney will usually take them back even without the store tag. And Babies R Us will take them back if they have a little white sticker on the tag.
post #48 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by chels_c2000 View Post
I can relate to the hooded towel things. We recieved about 16 of them at the shower and about 40 wash clothes. It was so frustrating!!!
No ideas for the hooded towels, but we use the washcloths for cloth wipes 40 of them is a pretty good number to work with
post #49 of 61
Ok, I may get slapped or flamed for saying this but I HATE HATE HATE gift registries! Despise them with a passion. However, for baby showers with registries, I usually end up making my own little gift basket with :A large supply of diapers, baby wipes, chocolates for the parents (nice chocolates!) breast milk storage bags (if they are nursing) and a very nice baby frame. To me it is better than giving something they EXPECT to get and I get to be creative rather than looking on a stupid list. With my baby shower I didn't do a registry so I ended up with a ton of receiving blankets. I had my MIL make a quilt out of the material. It was awesome.
post #50 of 61
I must admit it is not fun to shop off a registry. But I do find the registry helpful to see what sorts of things people want. I will not buy people things that I do not agree with (the disposables, etc.) but there are usually plenty of things that are great on the list. And I'd MUCH rather my money be spent on something that is actually going to be used.

I don't think I've ever bought anything smaller than 6 months in clothing 'cause it seems everyone has the same problem - too many newborn things.

I have my shower in a week & a bit - we'll see what happens!
post #51 of 61
i wonder if everyone who got a ton of disposable diapers can take them back and use all that $ to buy cloth? brand name disposables are expensive; you could get quite a bit of cash! i have no idea if you can take them back or not...

with DS 1, i found that older generations bought whatever they felt like but some of my younger friends actually hit the registry list. maybe the scary registry computer was too much for some of the older ones?

we actually got some really great stuff from my shower (my mom threw me one and MIL didn't bother, even though she did it for everyone else) though! *phew*
post #52 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
I don't think I've ever bought anything smaller than 6 months in clothing 'cause it seems everyone has the same problem - too many newborn things.
i tend to do that too; i buy newborn and then i try for something 6 months or so b/c they seem to stay in that size for quite a while. do ppl think babies don't grow? LOL.
post #53 of 61
With my first, someone had loaned/given us a baby swing, so we didn't register for one. We registered for important stuff we didn't have yet: carseat, stroller, pack-n-play (we didn't have a nursery or crib, so this was important!). DH's parents took it upon themselves to buy us a swing because they couldn't imagine life with a baby and without a swing. Not only did they buy it for us, but they bought it at a store that we didn't have in our area, that had a terrible return policy (14 days for store credit only, with a receipt--which we didn't have). After we had tried to return it just about everywhere in town w/o success, DH called to ask about if we could return it to buy the carseat we NEEDED but couldn't afford and they yelled at him for being ungrateful. We ended up keeping the darn swing, passing the one that we were given on to another friend, and paying for the carseat out of pocket over the next three or four pay periods. So yeah, I hear you on not heeding registries or AT LEAST making sure the item is returnable!

That said, I usually don't shop off of registries either :. I do little gift baskets with small and usable things that mom might not have thought of, taking cues from her registry: real washcloths (not poly-laden baby ones!), natural baby bath (not petrochemical laden ones!), my favorite rash ointment (Burts Bees), and a small toy for baby. I try to buy it all at Target or some other store that's reasonable and fairly available to make exchanges/returns at and I include the gift receipt at the very bottom of the basket, so any of it can be taken back and exchanged for something from the registry that was really wanted/needed if need be.
post #54 of 61
My baby shower is on the 30th and I am really not looking forward to it at all. My family is just not into the same things that I am so I know I will get a lot of useless stuff.

My SIL was trying to be helpful and bought me a pack of those birdseye cloth diapers and diaper pins though. Not what I meant when I said cloth diapers, but hey, I love her for it.

I don't like asking for anything at all, ever. This is my 3rd so I am way over baby showers already.

When I am invited to a shower I never look at the registry either. Maybe I should after reading these posts. I always get the same thing though, a cotton med. weight blanket w/ a cute print (love those and no one ever gets them) and I let my boys pick out a cute toy for the baby.

I wouldn't buy slings, BF stuff (except pads, etc) bc I don't know anyone IRL who is that committed to BF or babywearing and it would just go to waste.

I also hate how people invite people they barely know to their showers bc it just seems like a ploy for gifts. I don't ever go to a baby shower if I don't really know the person (they aren't fun anyway).

I wish my family was more alternative so we could do something cool and just eat chocolate, etc.
post #55 of 61
Someone from my church just bought me a whole bag of newborn to 3 months sized clothes. lol. Geeze, and I was already stocked! Now I have extra. I so don't need any more clothing unless it's up several sizes. lol. But she did also get me a gift card... so I'll be using that!
post #56 of 61
I'm thinking about all those hooded towels--I suppose they could make good swaddling blankets...or can be cut up into wipes or burp cloths. If nothing else--they're the perfect size for drying your own hair, and could be used dish towels, etc.

Oh, and for the mama with the wrong cloth diapers--they make great burp cloths...and the diaper pins could be used to keep a swaddling blanket nice and tight. Just some thoughts!
post #57 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
I swear its like people are thinking "she doesnt know what a new baby needs, I know what a baby needs!!
So the attitude I encountered! My MIL was insistent on doing these diaper cake things with disposable diapers. She told my mom that I'd give up on cloth in a month and then I would be grateful for the disposables. I was pissed.

I didn't need clothes at all. My SIL has two daughters (ages 2 & 4), my friend Erin had a baby girl in November or December, my friend Tiffany had a baby girl in April or May and all of them have been giving me tons of clothes, some of which haven't even been worn. Yet, because she's a girl and no one can resist the cute girl clothes, I got tons of clothes at my shower.

I did get 18 cloth diapers though so I was pretty happy with that.
post #58 of 61
Okay, I just checked out a friend's registry for ideas and lemmie tell ya...there's just not much there! She actually *did* register for like 20 hooded towels, a million packages of the poly laden baby washcloths, gerber burp cloths and receiving blankets. And there are over 200 people invited to her baby shower (yes, you read that right). I like to give personal gifts that will be useful and will stand out as something that I put thought into. HOW do I do that when there are 200 people giving her something off of this little dinky registry list, half of which has already been purchased? :
post #59 of 61
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmissimpatient@c View Post
No ideas for the hooded towels, but we use the washcloths for cloth wipes 40 of them is a pretty good number to work with
Quote:
Originally Posted by ltbaggywrinkle View Post
I'm thinking about all those hooded towels--I suppose they could make good swaddling blankets...or can be cut up into wipes or burp cloths. If nothing else--they're the perfect size for drying your own hair, and could be used dish towels, etc.

Oh, and for the mama with the wrong cloth diapers--they make great burp cloths...and the diaper pins could be used to keep a swaddling blanket nice and tight. Just some thoughts!
Thanks for the suggestions. I didn't even think about using the washclothes as cloth wipes.
post #60 of 61
Haha. You know what's funny -- some of the people who attended my first's baby shower actually did know better what I needed than I did. (For what it's worth, I actually think they were just lucky. I didn't know what I needed, they didn't know what I needed... Finding the perfect baby gear is just a crapshoot.)

Anyway, I remember being scandalized when a girlfriend gave me a couple of pacifiers. I swore I'd never use them, but I couldn't bring myself to throw them out and was too overwhelmed at the time to find a good way to give them away. Lucky for me. After four weeks of trying to soothe a baby who screamed non-stop, despite all the love, nursing, carrying, and co-sleeping DH and I could give him, I tried a pacifier as a last resort. Turns out the combination of baby wearing, pacifier sucking, and having a blanket over his head was the secret to soothing Griffin.

I also remember thinking the plain cotten receiving blankets a friend of my mom's gave me were the most boring, useless things. About two days after Griff was born, however, I sent DH out to buy a million more -- turns out they're useful for everything.

On the other hand, all that cute newborn clothing I thought I'd use has hardly been worn yet -- despite having had three newborns. Turns out I don't like to dress my babies. :P

* Jaime
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