Originally Posted by whalemilk
I can say that it most definitely is NOT. Because although you may indeed have the rest of the world as your playground, my home is not open for you to swing around in and do as you please. I'm fairly certain that you're expected to obey traffic laws like everyone else too, and not use the highways as your personal joyride course.
Well but it's not a choice between those two things. There's plenty of room in the middle. It's really not a choice between entitlement and "inferiority" but a choice between entitlement and "I'm subject to the same rules of conduct and expectations as everyone else." I guess for some having to play by the same old boring rules as the rest of society is "inferior," but I'd rather have a pro-social kid come out of my home than one who thinks "the world is my playground."
We are just having a difference of definitions. I do not expect my 3 year old to abide by "rules"... i teach her to respect others, to be gentle with other people and their things, and to beware of dangerous situations.
I dont say, "heck with it, jump off the monkey bars head first just because you can, or go run into that persons house and jump on their couch."
Just like I do not stop at a red light because it is a rule.
I stop at a red light because i know the oncoming traffic gas a green light and that it would be dangerous to cross.
I approach things differently. I view the world as a playground. A playground with fun things, boring things, dangerous things, and other people. Learning how to think critically and maneuver around by using her common sense and respect for others makes for an INCREDIBLY social child.
Originally Posted by Collinsky
Yes. And my children are required to obey those same kinds of rules. There's no such rule about coffee tables. It's invented, and fairly arbitrary in a lot of cases. There are enough real rules - about things that are safety concerns and about things that violate others or their property - that we don't need to be perpetuating ones that really are just fluff. In another home, it might actually be dangerous or destructive to climb on the coffee table, and there is every reason for that to be a rule. In our house it would just be in an attempt to maintain some sort of conformity with the "everyone else" who has that rule. So we don't do it.
Right. My kids are subject to the same rules as everyone else. I have no idea how them climbing all over my entire home and hanging from the ceiling makes that different. My children don't climb on other people's furniture. (Unless given permission by the owner.) That's basic respect; we honor other people's personal rules. My kids are fully entitled to enjoy our home as we see fit. And others are entitled to having their personal furniture needs respected. If dh or I thought it was safe, we would be "allowed" to climb on the coffee table. We do sit on it, and we do put our feet on the couch. I have no desire to walk on the couch, but if I did there wouldn't be a person on this earth who would have any right to tell me that "it's simply not done." We're pretty entitled to do whatever we want in our own home, as long as we remain within the law.
And yeah: the world is their playground. There are rules at a playground - you have to maintain basic safety, you refrain from breaking things, and you are considerate of others. If those are the same old boring rules, then, yeah, my kids have to go by them, no matter where they are in this world that is their playground. Rules for the sake of rules? I do find that needlessly oppressive, and it's simply not done in my house. I assure you, my kids are "pro-social."