Workshop #5 - Baby’s Early Years; Crying, Night Waking, and Attachment Parenting - Page 3

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

Originally Posted by kamaldeep

I am looking for more information

Welcome! MDC is a treasure trove of information on attachment parenting and natural family living. Do you have any specific questions?

[shayinme]

Originally Posted by kamaldeep

I am looking for more information

Yes, please let us know what you are looking for specifically and we can help. Though I would also encourage you to look around as well. Welcome :

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

My kids are 4.5 years apart and while I was already doing some AP things with ds, we breastfed for 18 months, coslept for the first 6 months, cloth diapered, he is intact and I never felt right leaving him to cry for long periods of time I was doing those things somewhat instinctively. I had no internet and had never heard of AP. i was just doing what felt right. I didn't find MDC and the full range of AP and NFL until I was pregnant with dd.

It made things so much easier. I discovered slings. I had used a snuggly type baby carrier with ds but found it so uncomfortable that I didn't use it very often. With dd, she lived in her sling for the first several months. With ds, I knew that i didn't want to leave him to cry when he needed me and he was a very high needs baby but all I knew how to do was to sit and hold him. Without a comfortable carrier it was hard to move around and do things and hold him at the same time so my choices were to be trapped on the couch/bed with a fussy baby while the house dissolved into chaos around me and my dh grumbled about working full time and then coming home to do all the housework (another rant for another day...he did do it all though I have to give him that) or letting ds cry while I tried to get some other things done. Neither option left me feeling good about the situation or myself. I'm sure my lack of comfortable baby carrier was a contributer to my PPD. I also found that there were others parenting like me. I didn't feel like I had to get the kids out of our bed. Or that I had to ween or any of that other stuff that didn't feel right but that everyone else was doing.

When dd was born I had an active preschooler in the house and I just didn't have the option of sitting with her for long periods of time. I'm so glad I found a comfortable sling because I used it all the time. With dd in her sling I could play with ds, take him to the park, prepare meals, do laundry, vacuume....I felt like super woman, I could do it all. Baby wearing was so freeing for me. Of all the AP tools that I've made use of over the last few years, baby wearing is the one that saved my sanity and improved the lives of my children the most. My biggest regret is that I didn't have one with ds. He missed out of a happy mommy for his first year because of it.

[mamaverdi]

I nightime parenting. And my little is 4, and he's still really on our schedule or his own...so it's no big deal.

Can someone talk about Nighttime Parenting the older child? 8.5 years old going on 40. My son doesn't go to sleep w/o one of us lying down with him. And he cannot stay up as late as I do, though he would like to...he just can't do it.

So, it's not the parenting to sleep that I mind, it's the constant complaining. The "I can't sleep" when he's been lying in bed for maybe 1 minute. The "why can't I stay up". The horrible fit melting down if he doesn't get to bed in time--but being mad that he has to.

And he thinks nighttime routines are waaaaaay beyond him. Sigh. and

Anyone have any ideas?

[Rhiannon Feimorgan]

Older kids defiantly need a bed time routine to help them get to sleep. Heck I need a bed time routine. However the playing in the bath, story read by mom or dad and a lullaby that works great for a preschooler is not necessarily going to be enjoyed be a kid who is edging toward the preteen years.

My ds is 8 and while he is generally a good sleeper, he does have nights where he wants to stay up and claims he can't sleep after just a few min. When he was smaller he defiantly needed me or dh with him to fall asleep. About a year ago though we started running into the sort of trouble you were describing. We started letting him play quietly in his room for a while. I would come back and check on him in about 15 min or half an hour. If he still wasn't ready to sleep he could read by himself for a while. Often he would fall asleep before I got back into his room but if he hadn't yet, that would be when I lay down with him and he was usually ready to fall asleep by then. The quiet play and reading became his new bedtime routine and it's working for him now.

Some things you can do could be turning off extra lights about an hour befoer you expect him to go to bed. Lower light levels signal our bodies that it is getting close to time to sleep. Dh and I had always done that for ourselves but the kids go to bed so much earlier that the house was still fairly bright at their bed time. When we started turning the lights down right after supper it helped the kids sleep better.

Offering a bed time snack can help to. Ds really likes herb tea with milk and honey at bed time.

[mamaverdi]

Thank you! What wonderful ideas. I bet he would love tea-time before bed. He's always always hungry.

He & I spoke about it last night, and he said that he would like someone to read with him at night. So we decided that he would read to himself, and that I would read to myself, in the same room.

And the light thing He is very light sensitive. I actually hadn't thought about that in terms of my younger son too, but I wonder if they are both having that issue.