New to the group, Information about PPD?

[Jillian1985]

I'm a little confused as to how to title this thread. Anyways, I'm new. My name is Jillian. I had my first and only child in December 2006. I never ever went to a doctor for my PPD. I started getting signs of it 3 days after she was born. I didn't get to see her for three days because I had a c-section, had to stay in bed for 12 hours, she was in the NICU... after 12 hours I was to tired from the meds they gave me during the c-section that I slept until the morning. When I woke up they made me take a shower first. When I got out I passed out backwards over my bed. Was then told to stay in bed for 8-10 hours, but I developed a fever of 103.2 and couldn't be near the babies in the NICU until the fever was gone. I was very anxious to go see her. But by that third day I could have cared less. But I put on a smile and acted like I couldn't wait to get up there.

She is now 20 months old and from the time she was born to now I have attempted suicide a couple times in ways that would seem like a natural accident... just in case it didn't work in my favor at the time I didn't want to deal with being hovered over by doctors asking me why I wanted to do it. I resulted in cutting myself to relive a pain I couldn't control with a pain I could control even tho that was temporary. I got hooked on that, but I have been clean on cutting for several months now. I still have very horrible suicidal thoughts. I've still never been to a doctor. I did make a very HUGE step ( for me it's a huge step anyway ) in making an appointment to see a psychiatrist on September 2nd. I tried getting in sooner but they have no openings for new patients until then. So in the time being I am trying to refrain myself from having any horrid thoughts about suicide, Its working, but it's the most I've ever struggled in my life.

Can this still be PPD even tho it's been going on for 20 months? Could it have developed into something else?

[mom0810]

Sounds like PPD and PTSD. PLEASE call a therapist or a doctor TODAY. DO NOT WAIT.

Untreated, PPD can turn into clinical depression that will just go on indefinitely. Same with PTSD.

Please go to www.postpartum.net and check out what resources are available to you in your area. There is also a hotline number there that you can call. Please.

Today.

Now.

Call the psychiatrist's office now and tell them you have contemplated suicide. They will get you in. Do it today, please.

[Jillian1985]

Originally Posted by mom0810

Sounds like PPD and PTSD. PLEASE call a therapist or a doctor TODAY. DO NOT WAIT.

Untreated, PPD can turn into clinical depression that will just go on indefinitely. Same with PTSD.

Please go to www.postpartum.net and check out what resources are available to you in your area. There is also a hotline number there that you can call. Please.

Today.

Now.

Call the psychiatrist's office now and tell them you have contemplated suicide. They will get you in. Do it today, please.

Thank you so much. I will call them and see if they can get me in early in the week. I've been trying to write down all of my problems that this has been causing me but my memory is shot... which the bad memory is also on the list. Anyways, if they can't get me in real soon, I will call around other psychiatrist that take my insurance and see who can get me in the soonest, then go from there. Thanks so much......

Are you talking about 1-800-SUICIDE? If so, I am very close to that hotline. I'd like to spew some information about them for a second if I may. First off, They are an AWESOME hotline. I am involved in a movement called " To Write Love On Her Arms" You can always research that movement if you'd like. It's an awesome movement. It's been a huge part of my life this last year. We all support the hotline in the movement, but since the hotline is free, that means the hotline get no funding to pay their phone bills at all. They aren't government ran because they want people to feel safe when calling them and insured that cops won't show up at their door when they say they want to kill themselves. As of now 1-800-SUICIDE is having trouble paying the phone bill because of it. If you and anyone else in here would like to go to Socialvibe.com and make an account... It's FREE... and join the "To write love on her arms" movement it would help them out a lot. After joining you pick up to two sponsors out of the list they provide ( once again, everything is FREE ), you then can talk in other forms for other causes, or the one for your cause. Everytime someone views your profile you get points, the points are later converted into money for your cause. With 'To write love on her arms' the money goes directly to and ONLY to the 1-800-suicide hotline at this moment until they can pay their phone bill thats becoming past due. After they are caught up only a percentage of the money will go to the hotline.

[mom0810]

I'm not sure the specifics of the hotline, but I know there is one specific to PPD on the postpartum.net website. You can call it anytime. Also, if you call ANY one of the therapists listed, you should be able to leave a message that it is urgent that you see someone soon. Very soon. You should get on meds asap and then begin therapy to help yourself out of the depression.

Where are you? I can always find you a therapist near you by calling my therapist, who is the head of the Illinois chapter of the Postpartum Alliance.

Please call your hospital, also, because I am sure they have a hotline. Call your OB. Call anyone today that you can. They will completely understand.

[Jillian1985]

Originally Posted by mom0810

I'm not sure the specifics of the hotline, but I know there is one specific to PPD on the postpartum.net website. You can call it anytime. Also, if you call ANY one of the therapists listed, you should be able to leave a message that it is urgent that you see someone soon. Very soon. You should get on meds asap and then begin therapy to help yourself out of the depression.

Where are you? I can always find you a therapist near you by calling my therapist, who is the head of the Illinois chapter of the Postpartum Alliance.

Please call your hospital, also, because I am sure they have a hotline. Call your OB. Call anyone today that you can. They will completely understand.

I'm in Flint, MI. I'm new to the whole therapist thing and I don't know if there are certain ones that deal with PPD or not. I don't want to walk in there and have the therapist think I'm insane. I did have to leave a message with the one I already have an appointment at for sept. 2nd. Hopefully they get back to me with some good news. I am willing to drive anywhere in flint, grand blanc, burton, swartz creek, fenton, holly, auburn hills, saginaw... basically anywhere to see a good doctor up to a 45 minute drive just to get there. So if you do call your therapist about it let him know my driving range. Thank you so much for the effort your putting in. I don't get much of that here at home with my husband, friends, and family. Just one friend helps comfort me, but he has no advice which is fine... at least he listens tho. I am making a list since a lot of offices are pretty much closed right now, and I will make calls out on Monday morning.

[Jillian1985]

Someone posted this link http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/117422.php
in a different thread on this site, it's about PTSD. If I have that with PPD that would explain some things. See, I always thought I'd have a perfect pregnancy, as most people think. At 33 weeks I went into pre-term labor and they gave me a shot to stop it.. which I think worked a little to well. I had to be induced at 42 weeks and 1 day gestation. They induced me which caused contractions full blown after 15 minutes. I had back labor on top of that. About an hour and a half later they broke my water. I was only 1 cm at the time. At that point we realized my daughter had a bowel. So they hooked her up with an internal monitor and waited to see if I would dilate more after that. 4 hours later I was only at 3cm. My OB is a friend of my aunts and he came in on his 1 hour lunch break and spent the whole break with me. He checked me at the end of his break and said I was at 4cm but he doesn't think we should wait any longer. A few days before all of this I had to have a stress test and ultrasound done, they measured her weight at 8lbs 10oz. So my doctor taking that in consideration along with the bowel he said a c-section would be best. I cried uncontrollably and he knew why. See, my sister had a c-section 10 months prior by a doctor that my doctor was in practice with. She came close to dieing and I was fully unaware as to what caused her to bleed out like she did. All I knew was she had a c-section and they had a heck of a time keeping her alive. My doctor was called in to help her, and my doctor saved her life. So I was terrified I was going to die.

After my daughter was born I wanted to see her, but between the labor room and the OR she ate her bowel. So she was taken into another room because she wasn't breathing. I was really drugged up and kept trying to stay awake to figure out what was going on because I never heard her cry. My husband was taken to a different room at that time, I thought he was with her but he wasn't. They told him what was going on. He didn't want to tell me until I was in the clear. I went to 1 hour recovery which wound up being a 2 hour recovery because I was bleeding to much. I was scared but to drugged up to cry. I was taken to my room once the bleeding slowed down and I asked my husband where Hailey was. He said she was taken to the NICU and filled me in. During my 3 days before I got to see her I was getting random calls from the nurses up in NICU telling me whats going on and how she is doing. Her first day was hard. She didn't want to keep breathing. They said she had newborn Apnea, which you'd think at 42 weeks gestation and 8lbs 14oz that she wouldn't have such a problem, but she did. My mom said they had alarms that would sound when she would stop breathing and my daughter was the highest risk in the NICU even tho she was the only one born at full term and weighing as much as she did.

The second day I got a call from the nurse. She asked if my husband wanted to come up to see her, knowing I couldn't because of my other complications. So he went up there and the nurse told him that she has a cleft palate. I know what a cleft is and what a palate is but I couldn't put two and two together. So I cried like crazy. Would you consider this a possibility for giving me PTSD ( not knowing if I have that or not yet ). Also at 2 months old I was told she had torticollis and had to see a physical therapist. That took 8 months of therapy to straighten her neck out. At 4 months she had her cleft palate surgery. At 6 months I was told her head is below the 5th percentile. She had to see a different doctor for MRI's and CT Scans to see why. I was told she has a suture which fused to early, the metopic suture on the top of the skull that runs from the center to the front of the forehead. They said surgery is uncertain at this time. So for a month I feared my daughter getting surgery on her skull. I was told at the next appointment by a doctor down in detroit at the childrens hospital that she will not need surgery because her brain is not pushing on the skull, and her head growth should catch up just fine but it will take a while. She has a bumped up line on the top of her head that is unnoticeable because her hair covers it but you can feel it... her head is normal size for her age now ( which I figured out on my own when I bought her a cute hat the other day and I actually had to get 18-24 months, I cried in the store, people were looking at me, but I was excited ). At 14 months old she had to have an EKG done, which showed a possible murmur... so back to the x-ray machine... which showed she does in fact have a murmur. It's a Stills murmur, which can go away by her teen years and cause no problems, which is good... but it just adds to her complications and my stress.

PTSD would be a good diagnosis for me, if you ask me. Along with PPD

[mom0810]

Yes, you have ptsd and ppd. I do, too. I took zoloft for 18 months and also have been in therapy for 2 years. I'm getting better.

I had a similar situation after my first son was born, so I really can relate.

Yes, therapists do specialize in ppd. If you want to, email dr. sarah allen, and she may be able to direct you to someone in your area. She is on the postpartum.net site under illinois. They should have a michigan section there and you should be able to find someone easily. I also think you should order Beyond the Blues right away. It's by Shoshanna Bennet. PPD for Dummies is also very good. It will help you to see yourself and know you are not alone.

You can pm me anytime.

Anytime suicidal thoughts are present, you should call a therapist right away and get in treatment. They will NOT think you are crazy. They will NOT think you are a bad mother. Go to someone with a special interest in ppd. They will recognize what is going on with you right away. You can and will feel SO much better soon. DO NOT wait until September.

[Jillian1985]

Originally Posted by mom0810

Yes, you have ptsd and ppd. I do, too. I took zoloft for 18 months and also have been in therapy for 2 years. I'm getting better.

I had a similar situation after my first son was born, so I really can relate.

Yes, therapists do specialize in ppd. If you want to, email dr. sarah allen, and she may be able to direct you to someone in your area. She is on the postpartum.net site under illinois. They should have a michigan section there and you should be able to find someone easily. I also think you should order Beyond the Blues right away. It's by Shoshanna Bennet. PPD for Dummies is also very good. It will help you to see yourself and know you are not alone.

You can pm me anytime.

Anytime suicidal thoughts are present, you should call a therapist right away and get in treatment. They will NOT think you are crazy. They will NOT think you are a bad mother. Go to someone with a special interest in ppd. They will recognize what is going on with you right away. You can and will feel SO much better soon. DO NOT wait until September.

I e-mailed one of the people on the PSI site and a lady called me. She gave me test that she said the doctors usually give you to see if you have depression. She said scoring a 12 or higher means I have to seek medical attention and when I answer the question to only answer them according to the last 7 days. I scored a 24. She said the hospital near me is getting ready to make some sort of support group for PPD. She gave them a call to see if they could refer me to someone but she had to leave a message. When she gets a call back she'll call me about it. I was so happy to have talked to her. She was really nice. I believe this ladies name was Dina (sp?)(sounds like Dee na ).

Thank you for all your help I really appreciate every bit of it

[mom0810]

Oh, good, I have been thinking about you and hoping you are okay. Glad you will be getting in somewhere soon.

You are on the road to recovery, and you will feel so much better soon.

Please let me know how you are doing.