teaching children self-control with sugar

[Feb2003]

we've had gingersnaps and dark chocolate in our kitchen for a while (OK, OK, chocolate's consistently there )...they started as something different that I could pull out every once in a while, but then they turned into something the kids would request and I became the gatekeeper. This sounds so silly now that I'm typing it! Anyway, I bring this up because I think it relates to my childhood associations with food. We *never* had any sweets and I can't control myself/listen to an inner control around them. I realized yesterday that *I* was controlling my dss access to these things and that it probably wasn't healthy. (they are 5 and 3) so yesterday I put them down where they could reach them. My issue with the gingersnaps is that they have hydrogenated oils ( ) and white flour and sugar...they're small and we got a tin as a gift...so I mostly emptied the tin and just put them down to give the control over. I don't have many issues with the chocolate...I know it's not TF, but it's 73% cocoa and I think the bitterness helps with self regulation. ANYWAY, they ate way too much chocolate and decided the yummy Thai chicken I made wasn't good and so they didn't really eat dinner. I think I will have to make *more* effort to make sure that they have access to "grow food" so that they can choose either one...problem being that TF foods are not typically cupboard foods...they are in the refrigerator and are typically not already made into anything.

Anyway, I guess I'm posting for 2 reasons:
- do your children have access to foods they should only have every once in a while and do they self-regulate?
- do you have ideas on what else I can put in the low cupboard for them??

Thanks!
Whitney

[Jojo F.]

DS (5) is great about sweets. If we are at a family function, party etc. he is always offerend a bunch of stuff and he always says "no thanks, I hade my one sugar."

I institute a one sugar a day rule. He can have whatever he wants whenever he wants but only one a day. Whatever we ahve on hand he can choose- a bowl of ice cream, a cookie, a cupcake, a piece of fudge, a tictac- my FIL always has some, a sucker, a sprite- again my IL's, etc. Also, getting to choose what he wants also helps him to understand decision making- a tictac or a bowl of ice cream? He has chosen the tictac and then later realized a bowl of ice cream would have been MUCH better

Most of our sweets are easily accessable to him so he could easily just eat them all. He has been allowed to consume an insane amount of sugar and made himslef sick. Let's just say that was the last time he ever did that

I have also talked to him about the importance of healthy food and how bad sugar can be. He has free reign to get anything out of the fridge that he likes whenever he is hungry like an apple, a carrot, PB and J sandwich, sardines(he loves them!!)yogurt, leftovers, cheese, crackers, etc. For me I look at the whole week of what he has consumed, I'm not too worried about that one day he had lots of bread.

Make a toddler plate with a variety of things on it like cheese, crackers, tomatoes, cucmbers, beets, cooked turkey/chicken, avocado, nuts-seeds-dried fruits, bananas, sugar snap peas, grapes, pineapple, berries, etc. Leave it in a handy place for them to get to like the bottom shelf of the fridge or have it out for a little bit on the counter.

I don't know if that helps but that's what we do.

[Feb2003]

thank you for your reply!

Whitney

[Attached Mama]

I really honestly don't think there is a way to self regulate sugar. Most adults can't do it and to think a child can is really expecting a lot. Obviously there are a few exceptions, but the majority of people simply can't regulate their sugar intake.

The issue is that sugar is addictive. We don't often realize that, but it really is. I'd highly recommend the book Sugar Blues. Sugar sets the blood sugar soaring and plummeting and then the body requests more sugar to get blood levels back up again. Both sugar and white flour will do this to the body. Also, sugar depletes the body of minerals and lowers white blood cell counts. Our dd rarely ever has sugar and she is never sick -she's had 2 mild colds and one tummy ache in her 3 years of life. Honestly, I know most people think we are crazy for our almost never sugar stance and think we are equally crazy in saying that it (and a few other tricks) contribute to our dd's amazing health - but our entire family is that healthy and if we eat sugar much that's when we get sick.

If I allow myself one piece of sugary food per day, I'm ok for a day or so. Then I crave more sugar and have a second piece. Then within a few days I'm eating all sorts of sugary stuff. For most people this is how it works.

Sugar is a rare thing in our house - a treat. DD knows that she gets it only once in a while. We do have cookies made with whole wheat flour and sweeetened with maple syrup or honey tho, or custard sweetened with honey or maple syrup and other sweets with more natural types of sweeteners in them. These don't affect the blood sugar so badly - espec if there is fat with the snack, don't deplete the body of minerals (raw honey is loaded with minerals) and don't affect the immune system (raw honey is actually good for the immune system).

[Jojo F.]

Sugar Blues is a great book. In fact, it's sitting right in front of me, seriously!

I wanted to add that sometimes DS's "sugar" for the day isn't even sugar. I make a lot of our sweets with raw honey or he gets a honey spoon most days. He loves it!!

Right now we are sharing a custard made with honey

[Mere]

I too think it's a lot to expect kids to self-regulate their sugar intake...it tastes so good! Why not have more?

I also think part it is unique to each child too. My dd regulates quite well, but we talk about it a lot and I make sure she understands and agrees with our family's food ideas. Ds however would eat nothing but sugar and white flour if given the opportunity (and yes, I have tried the 'let him gorge' approach). They have both been raised in the same way with the same kinds of food around, so who knows?

Because of ds1, we can't really have sugary foods or desserts around the house. I like an occasional treat just as much as the next person though, so we go out for ice cream or other treats on a semi-regular basis.

[Metasequoia]

Originally Posted by Attached Mama

I really honestly don't think there is a way to self regulate sugar. Most adults can't do it and to think a child can is really expecting a lot. Obviously there are a few exceptions, but the majority of people simply can't regulate their sugar intake.

The issue is that sugar is addictive. We don't often realize that, but it really is.

This is *exactly* what I was going to post. It's addictive, like cigarrettes, coffee or heroin.

I make my own "treats" so that even though they're thought of as treats, they're still healthy & not filled with sugar.

Yesterday, between lunch & dinner, I set out a plate for each of my children with raw cheddar, freshly sliced pears & 1 peanut butter cookie. The girls ate everything but Ds left only the cookie.

I try to keep snacks on hand that fill that desire to have a treat. I make a lot of cookies & muffins modified from NT-ish recipes, using ground pumpkin seeds as my "flour" & honey or maple syrup (occasionally agave) as my sweetener. I use really ripe bananas for the bulk of the sweetening.

I don't think there's anything wrong with cocoa, I use organic, fair-trade cocoa in my muffins.

But, I won't leave a plate of muffins around because I know they'd eat all of them & well, they're just too time-consuming & expensive to have them gone in one day...and I want to eat some of them too.

[That Is Nice]

Anyway, I guess I'm posting for 2 reasons:
- do your children have access to foods they should only have every once in a while and do they self-regulate?
- do you have ideas on what else I can put in the low cupboard for them??

Oh, such good questions!

I just posted a thread in the foods forum because I eat healthfully but my DH does not and I feel it is adversely impacting my child. I don't feel, personally, that a child is equipped to self-regulate. If something tastes good, they'll go for that.

I don't know if they're drawn to sugar, but my child sure seems to be.

Also, I see my own DH who doesn't have a lot of self-control in terms of food. He loves junk food and fast food, and diet soda. He doesn't really self-regulate. He eats a lot of those foods and doesn't think it's a problem.

Here's my idea. I never want to deny my child any food. I think that can lead to problems later if a child, or adult, feels denied. So, we eat things I don't necessarily approve of or have as a goal for our diet, but I try to eat them in small portions, or find healthy, realistic alternatives.

My problem is my husband is a little anti-natural foods. Some alternatives he'll accept, but most he doesn't. And he does eat junk food and fast food in front of our child, and of course our child wants to eat what Dad is eating and what tastes "good" (i.e. sugary, sweet, salty, rich (fats)).

P.S. It is early morning and my husband is already drinking diet soda. He starts early for breakfast and drinks it all day long. How can I set a healthy example when this is going on? I wish soda could be a treat, not a staple.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by Mere

I too think it's a lot to expect kids to self-regulate their sugar intake...it tastes so good! Why not have more?

:

But I want to instill the ability for my child to self-regulate, eventually. And also to know what foods are healthy.

I definitely limit what I buy and have in the house. I always try to find healthy alternatives to things so that we still have options and my child never feels denied. I want a healthy association with all foods. Food should be fun, but also healthy at the same time.

[Attached Mama]

I think it's important to note that if you don't offer sugar as an option, only offering healthy foods and healthy treats, that most kids can then self regulate. I've mostly allowed our 3 yr old to eat what she wants - but all we have is healthy stuff. She'll go for carbs one day, proteins another, tons of fruit another day etc. In the course of a week, she has a very balanced diet. Giving sugar and white flour tho, messes up the bodies ability to speak loud and clear about what it needs.

As for self-regulating sugar, I think that will come in time when she has more understanding of it. Even now tho she said that on her birthday I could only have one little piece of cake because it would have sugar in it. Then she proceeded to ask me if we could put something other than sugar in it like honey so that she could have a great big piece. Of course we used an alternative sweetener.

At this point, she knows that sugar is a "once in a while treat" food. She hasn't ever experienced the addicting nature of it because she's never had enough access to it. My hope is that as she grows older it will not be much of an issue because she will have already developed the habit of not eating it often and of not expecting it to be in the house and her tastebuds will be developed to prefer healthier sweeteners. Add to that more knowledge and the affects of feeling addicted to it and my hope is that she will not have an issue with it when she's older.

IMHO, I think offering sugar to kids *on a regular basis* and expecting them to self regulate is sort of like offering them cigarettes in the hope that they will discover how awful they are and not want to smoke. (Tho I did have a friend whose dad did that successfully when the kid was like 8 or so )

[tinuviel_k]

I also don't think that it is a super idea to let children self-regulate sugar. Sure, there a some kids out there that can: my husband and a good friend of mine come to mind. They actually don't like sweets and never had a problem saying no, even as kids. But that is very rare.

Our bodies are programed to crave sugars. It makes sense: in a time when easily absorbed carbohydrates were not readily available it made sense for our bodies to crave and seek out those energy giving foods. But in modern times when there are no end to cheap, easy ways to get sugar that natural craving turns into something a lot more dangerous. Our bodies still think they need the sugar, and so we crave it. It is so easy for someone to become actually addicted to sugar, and starting at childhood is a great way to make that happen.

A friend of mine in high school was allowed to self regulate sugar. His mom had it available in the house and let him choose to eat it as he liked. As a result a 17 year old guy craved coke for breakfast, was unable to drink his milk without chocolate, and had all sorts of unhealthy dietary habits.

I'm not opposed to sweets: I think they can make a fine treat. But we DON'T get them every day, and I absolutely don't let Denali "self regulate." She would eat sugar several times a day if I let her, fill up on it, and not have room for her meals. I think that teaching a child healthy dietary limits is a lot more healthy then keeping easily accessible unhealthy snacks around the house and letting them eat as they will. I'd rather keep healthy treats around and let Denali fully enjoy those. At our house a delicious piece of fruit is just as appealing as a cookie, and more accessible for Denali.

When we do eat sugary foods we talk about how it is a treat for us, but that it is not necessarily good for our growing body and teeth, and that's why we don't have it every day.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by Attached Mama

Giving sugar and white flour tho, messes up the bodies ability to speak loud and clear about what it needs.

:

Yes!

I think I will show your post to my husband. For some adults who maybe haven't read anything about nutrition, diet, or health; or who grew up eating a lot of junk food and who love fast food, the very idea of limiting white flour and sugar (and hydrogenated oil) is a very foreign concept that sounds weird.

[quietserena]

With sugar, sometimes mineral deficiency can make the craving worse. I'm not sure if that's the case for you, but I'm just throwing it out there. I don't think having perfect mineral balance will make it easy to resist sugar though, perhaps just easier.

I wouldn't expect my daughter to self-regulate with something like sugar. It's removed from it's natural home and very concentrated if you think about it. Our bodies seek carbs as a quick source of energy and sugar is it! Man, I don't have the control with certain forms of sugar myself and I'm supposed to be the adult. So, I don't buy what tempts me horribly. I think it's ok for parents to be in control of 'crack' including sugary snacks and juice and Teletubbies and Sesame Street (or whatever else passes for crack at your house).

And also, I think it's ok to have mom-only treats in the house and the kids don't have to know about them. The occasional treat that's just mine is ok in my eyes. (Is 85% chocolate even a treat? My DH won't touch it lol). I don't eat anything I wouldn't want DD to eat in front of her too, that'd be just mean.

And having said all that, if we're out somewhere, and someone gives DD something sweet, I let her have some of it. She usually doesn't want very much though I suspect that'll change. I didn't want food to become a battle so I avoid the battle as much as I can by not making forbidden foods available but if we're faced with them, I allow them. This might come back to haunt me later since DD is only 2 though...