Breaking Curfew Rules WWYD? Update Post # 7 ! - Page 3

[Arduinna]

ITA with Chiromamma.

Guess we will have to just agree to disagree. Nothing I posted was against the UA and this isn't a support only forum.

[anitaj71]

I'm happy to debate that I am in the wrong for door removal. However when there are no suggestions otherwise just a "make wrong" conversation than I don't see how that is constructive.

Agreeing to disagree is not a mutual understanding or an exchange of ideas. What's happened here is a "I'm right and you are wrong".

I'm always open to another point of view. Again. When the point of view is presented in the above . . .

How does that help?

[mamabeca]

Well, I admire a mama who finds the things that work for disciplining their kids - good on you! I took my dd's door away when she consistently took her anger out on it, and felt, and feel, good about that. Finding the right kinds of consequences for YOUR kid isn't always easy, and you should always feel good about being the best parent you can be, no matter what they do. Or you do. Short of corporal punishment, obviously.

I took a peek at your flickr pics, anita, and he is GORGEOUS - you have obviously done an awesome job raising him thus far! I'm relieved and happy for you that he's FINE. I think you are making some awesome decisions about what he needs to do to recoup your respect, and build up his own sense of confidence that he's making good decisions (being the only kid to 'go home' at 11pm isn't always easy, kwim?). Having to work extra hours to make $ for his glasses, having to walk to and fro, these are definitely things that will get him thinking about what he's willing to sacrifice for his social status amongst his peers!! Sounds about perfect to me, lol!

Keep on truckin, mama. You have a beautiful family, and you are doing an amazing job being there for them.

[spero]

Originally Posted by chiromamma

I don't see the connection between breaking curfew and loss of privacy.

My son lost his privacy over smoking pot, not breaking curfew. Which is illegal, and for which he could go to jail - which, trust me, is humiliating and a total loss of privacy.

The OPs son broke curfew, took drugs, and engaged in something dangerous without protecting himself. That'd be a dealbreaker in our house.

As a PP stated, losing an hour of an evening out for coming in an hour late the night before makes sense.

That IS what we did - but the consistency and frequency of breaking curfew eventually became a big metaphorical middle finger in my face every night. DS kept losing more and more time until it became clear that merely "grounding" him wasn't working.

I also feel that yes, as an adult I should treat my children with respect no matter how disrespectful they are being. It's called setting an example.

I guess that you and I have different ideas of setting an example, then.
My children have to earn my respect - and vice versa.

Originally Posted by Arduinna

Guess we will have to just agree to disagree.

Yeah, I was going to say that, too.

Originally Posted by anitaj71

I had no idea the teen years would be so difficult. I don't think I've ever questioned my parenting so much in my life.

Argh, I know! And I have a good kid, there's just so much out there to tempt him. He admits that most of his less-than-desirable behavior is a direct result of peer pressure.

And I have 3 more to come ... :

You're doing a great job mama, keep your chin up! This too shall pass!

[anitaj71]

That IS what we did - but the consistency and frequency of breaking curfew eventually became a big metaphorical middle finger in my face every night. DS kept losing more and more time until it became clear that merely "grounding" him wasn't working.

Me too . . . that was part of our conversation when I told him what's going to happen as a result of his actions.


Thank you mambeca for being so kind.

Argh, I know! And I have a good kid, there's just so much out there to tempt him. He admits that most of his less-than-desirable behavior is a direct result of peer pressure.

And I have 3 more to come ...

I'm just nodding me head . . yup. Here too. We have two more on their way one is 12 the other 3 .

Thank you again mamas