or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting: Moms who smokes dope...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Parenting: Moms who smokes dope... - Page 4

post #61 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamazee View Post
Again, I take a narcotic prescription for migraines during pregnancy, and I truly need them or I'd be unable to function or supervise my daughter. I have passed out from the pain of migraines and woken up on the bathroom floor, not knowing how long I was out or what my daughter had been up to while I was out. I understand that taking any medication during pregnancy isn't without risk, but cocaine is proven to be extremely dangerous and the medicine I'm taking isn't anywhere in the same boat as that. I'm finding much of this thread to be dismissive of those of us who really do need medication to help us with serious problems during pregnancy.

I did not mean to offend you in any way or to belittle your painful experience.

If you need it, and are making an informed choice, by all means take it. I had the luxury of someone to care for my DS while I had the migranes and just suffered through them. BUT I also had 2 epidurals (and while I don't have time to do the notations), the epi's were probably more of a threat to my babies than a few puffs of MJ.
post #62 of 112
Salvia is a plant as well...but it is dangerous as hell to smoke. Just because MJ is a plant- within itself does not make it "safe" to smoke during pregnancy.
post #63 of 112
It sounds like you really love and respect your friend, and that you are feeling totally thrown for a loop by this! Do you feel that this is abusive? Or that it is simply potentially abusive? Or you just don't know what you think, because it's very confusing to you?

I am not against occasional use of marijuana while breastfeeding, just as I am not against occasional use of alcohol while breastfeeding. It can be done in a careless and uniformed way, or in a judicious and educated way. I would say the context is key. It sounds like your friend has been doing this for some time, and you didn't have a clue until she felt safe enough in your relationship to reveal it. Sounds to me like she is probably being pretty responsible with it. I could be wrong, perhaps she is hitting the bong with her baby latched on, getting completely high and unable to care for her child who is being neglected physically and emotionally. It doesn't sound like that, though.

Perhaps for her the benefits outweigh the negatives... which is what we're all supposed to do with each individual personal choice that we make. It's why what works for Sally P might not work for Jenny Q - because those factors being weighed are different in each circumstance.

I think that my advice would be to first, read the information with an open mind. Come from a place of deep connection and unconditional love with your friend, and trust that she is a good person, and a good mother, who is doing what she is doing for her own valid reasons. Find a way to understand where she is coming from. Get educated -- really, truly educated. If you get in that place of connection, then you can talk to her about your concerns, find out more information about what it is for her, and how it is in her life. If you remain in a place of judgment and assumption, that probably won't be a very good conversation.

I don't smoke anything, and in my life it wouldn't make any sense and would in fact be harmful. But evidence leans in the direction that everything the propaganda brochures told us needs to be reevaluated. Carefully and meticulously. I'm not saying they lie. I'm just saying, if it's true, it stands up to actual inquiry. And nothing should be accepted without severe scrutiny. Not "moms shouldn't smoke weed" and not "weed is harmless."

You might check here as a starting point. If you scroll down you'll see a list of references you can go to. I am sure you'll get the info you are looking for, on both sides of this complicated topic.
post #64 of 112
i don't think the use of mj in pg. or nursing is all that bad. the key, i believe, is moderation. just like having the occasional glass of wine while nursing, an occasional puff or two isn't going to alter someone to the point where they are incapeable of caring for their kids (i'm assuming that *these* people do have somewhat of a tolerance, however).

while smoking anything in pregnancy is dangerous because it restricts bloodflow and oxygen to the baby, it would be FAR worse if a mother chose to smoke cigarettes, and those are perfectly legal. cigarettes increase the risk of placental abruption quite a bit, but i digress... if a pg. mom is going to use mj for common pg ailments (for which mj can be VERY useful) then she should vaporize it or use it in food.

i understand that, to some of you, one might be deterred from mj use b/c of the legality issue. i suppose you could make the case that a family member or friend may call cps and that prompts them to test the child. i think that this concern is variable among individuals though. for instance, i live in a place where mj use is quite prevalent, not illegal to smoke, but illegal to posess . i doubt that an mj smoking mom is much of a concern for many of our citizens.

i dunno, but i'd rather see the DWI and meth rate drop where i live. it's the drunk driving parents toting their kids around town and the parents operating a meth lab in their kitchen with their 2 and 4 year olds that make our local news on a weekly basis. there are a lot worse parents out there than a responsible mj smoker, imo.

personally i don't think your friend is doing anything wong, so long as her child's needs are welll-provided for. if it's a deal breaker for you, end the relationship.

eta- my username is not a pot reference, btw, but many have thought that it was
post #65 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by KylieLove06 View Post
Salvia is a plant as well...but it is dangerous as hell to smoke.
Um...why? It's not addictive, there have been no known cases of overdose or toxic reaction, and the effects are extremely short-lived, especially when smoked. The only danger comes if you try to do something like drive on salvia, which gives you a danger zone of about 5-15 minutes and most people are too out of it to even walk while on salvia, much less try to drive. Unless you count a bad trip as a danger. Bad trips are relatively common with salvia as compared to things like pot. But then we return to the very short-lived effects. 5-15 minutes of moderate paranoia or a mild panic attack may be unpleasant, but it's not exactly enough to classify as "dangerous as hell."

There's a lot of hype out there about salvia lately and there's a lot of hype about pot. But neither can really be called dangerous.
post #66 of 112
A teensy bit ot, but from a political view I have no freakin idea why mj isn't legal. So much of it is changing hands without it being legal that I'd think the government would want a piece of that. Something else the tax the crap out of us on.

Anyway, I have known people to have their kids taken away for that. Ironically enough, Ive known crappy parents that have done more than a little mj that have not had their kids taken. I even know someone who had their ds taken away because someone was doing it at his dad's house when he was there while she was working. Scares the poop out of me, so until my kids are 18 or until it's legal - whichever comes first - we stay far, far away from it.
post #67 of 112
i don't smoke now, but after reading this thread and posting previously, i do kinda miss the 'old days'. i don't think i'll ever smoke again, i just seem to have outgrown it alltogether. i still do not think that there is anything wrong with its use, though. not when there are so many other things that some parents do which are far worse than mj.
post #68 of 112
Hate to say it guys.... But I know that my mom smoked now and then when she was pregnant with me and my siblings. "And I turned out fine." I know that the "turned out fine" line of reasoning is a total cliche, but... I did great in school, excelled as a young musician, had high SAT scores, went to a good college (Oberlin)... I'm very healthy and had a great and pretty easy childbirth, and I have a GREAT relationship with my mom, who is really really respected in her field (special ed) and really on top of her game in every way- financially, as a home-owner, as a caregiver for her parents, etc. And still smokes from time to time! I know that all those things might not correlate with not smoking weed, I just use them to show that I am a fully functioning adult and so is my mom. She also was the greatest mom in the world and a teacher who has changed the lives of literally hundreds of at-risk youths.

So.... in response to the OP I would say just don't judge- mj is not as harmful as people think, when used in moderation. (and grown locally, just like any plant!)
post #69 of 112
OP......hello?.......hellooooo?
post #70 of 112
Because i worked in a drugs project when i was a teen i stay a million miles from any illegal drugs (and yes i do realise that the project was used by people who were NOT coping with their drug use and thus gave a distorted viewpoint). My XP still smokes mary often and i can HONESTLY see him getting more and more paranoid with every passing year. He of course says it isn't true and i'm making that stuff up about him Every friend he has agrees, it's not just me!

If she were my friend i would drop her. I have no good connotations with illegal drugs, and i want nothing to do with them.
post #71 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by TranscendentalMom View Post
I know some moms that did this and it kinda bothered me too but I'm not a pot smoker so I don't relate to the desire. I try to just see it as something I don't understand so I can't judge. However, I have noticed...in my passive observation that the pot smoking moms I know seem to have kids that seem to have issues such as learning disabilities, severe behavioral issues etc. It could just be a coincidence.
I know a lot of kids who's parents have never even looked at pot and their kids have the issues you describe. It is just a coincidence.
post #72 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
actually medical MJ in Ca. is legal and there are bars set up for those who have a rx to go to for safe MJ. there was an excellent pbs documentary about MJ about a year ago. It was very enlightening.

I think there are a lot of misconceptions of parents smoking MJ and being "stoned" and those who smoke for medical reasons (whether its morning sickness, headaches, etc. etc.). MJ has fewer side effects than some of the harsher drugs rx'd by dr's that are "legal".

i think there is a forum here for mamas who use MJ, just in case anyone wanted to get some insight into the issues.

I do not think its appropriate to refer to a mom who smokes MJ as a druggie.
It's still against federal law. Federal law supercedes state law. The Feds regularlly raid and shut down MJ bars in California. It recently happened to the one local to me.
post #73 of 112
Regularly inhaling ANY kind of smoke during pregnancy is bad for your baby. I'd have to be pretty ill to even consider it. I'd probably try injesting it first. I actually get hyperemesis when pregnant, end up with catheter in my arm so I can give myself IV fluids at night etc. I still wouldn't smoke pot. Now, IF the IV fluids etc weren't able to keep the preterm labor at bay....then I'd consider it.
post #74 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkiethridge View Post
And what I am saying about "no studies that have found moderate pot use of a pg mother to have detrimental effects on baby." , is how many women did they use in the 'studies', and for how long were those children followed? A few days? I don't know, I don't think you could scrounge up enough pregnant women that would be ok enough to smoke pot for the sake of a study, at least not enough to get accurate data from it.

I don't know. I think one of the things that appeals to me about natural mamas (and I'm making this a crunchy issue, since midwifes are endorsing it) is that we will rarely do anything even close to 'iffy', for the sake and heath of our child. Hence natural child birth, not vaccinating, good diet, so on so on. Its unreal to me that anyone would even chance it with that nonsense.
Morning sickness sucks...but you work through it. Just like with labor. Its natural to feel like utter crap. We have 'trust birth, but Where are the 'trust pregnancy' advocates? haha. Anyway. I don't feel comfortable taking tylenol while pregnant, much less smoke weed.

I'll shut up now. Just had to get that off my chest.
That may be the funniest thing I've read all day. You're being sarcastic, right?
post #75 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Popeye7608 View Post

I recently gave birth to my son, and have been blessed. He is amazing, I couldn't imagine putting him in harms way. Its amazing how much you can fall in love with someone soo quickly.

I've come to find out that my friend smoked dope during pregnancy and after (while breast feeding), this really bugs me! There are websites that advocates that weed does not affect the baby and so forth. Why would a mom gamble? Research shows that there are no damages done by weed, but how can that be if there are narcotics involved? Research also shows that it is possible to do damages, I know its a choice made by a mother to take the risk and such, but babies cannot voice for themselves, its a risk that she is giving to their child for their own vice.

What do you guys think?

How should I react to my friend who smokes dope?

I think smoking dope, CAN be the same as taking perscribed or non-perscribed medication. I'm not speaking out against dope smoking (dont know much about it) or taking medicine (sometimes you gotta!) but there are always the same risks. And sometimes medicine IS taken much too liberally, whether docotor says its "safe" or no.
post #76 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoBecGo View Post
Because i worked in a drugs project when i was a teen i stay a million miles from any illegal drugs (and yes i do realise that the project was used by people who were NOT coping with their drug use and thus gave a distorted viewpoint). My XP still smokes mary often and i can HONESTLY see him getting more and more paranoid with every passing year. He of course says it isn't true and i'm making that stuff up about him Every friend he has agrees, it's not just me!

If she were my friend i would drop her. I have no good connotations with illegal drugs, and i want nothing to do with them.
That is really harsh!
post #77 of 112
Studies in Jamaica don't make it any less illegal where I live Also, "studies" don't hold much weight to me seeing as I could probably find some studies that say something like spanking your kids is fine.... it doesn't make me more likely to do it. I wasn't laughing at Jamaica, I was laughing at the irony -- of course a place which highly values something is not going to come out with a study saying it is unhealthy.

OP, I would voice my opinion if I didn't agree with it I value honesty in a friendship, I am not going to pander to someone just because MJ is the crunchy-approved drug of choice.

I smoked a ton of pot in my day. I mean, I have probably misplaced more pot that many people have smoked. I was addicted -- yes, you can be addicted contrary to what everyone likes to say.

I am not *against* it per se now (except for myself) but I try to avoid friendships with people who regularly smoke (or are vocal about it).

*here come the flames*

I really don't have a desire for close relationships with people who need a mind altering substance to enhance their life (barring medical issues!!).

The illegal part too is a biggie. I live in a state where anything over a quarter ounce is a felony with intent to sell and distribute and where people go to jail for years for having even personal amounts of mj. I am not willing to die on a hill and lose my child or my freedom for a "cause" like mj.

If you want to keep her as a friend I would just tell her you don't want her to partake around you and you would not care to hear about her experiences with it any more.
post #78 of 112
Although, it is ultimately her choice, if it bothers you, you don't have to be friends with her?

A lot of people do a lot of stuff and their kids end up fine, but there's the flip to that that we all read about. The statistics are done on the bad things, mostly.

Around here I am such a wannabe pothead. I never got the time, I've always had too much other stuff to do. I'd smoke when I had the chance or the time. I had a roommate whose brother sold it and he stored it in our house, I had access but didn't have the time.

For me it's a choice, not an addiction. Like how alcohol can be a choice to some and an addiction to others. And not really an addiction like cocaine, you know where your body has it and now chemically thinks it NEEDS it. But then I haven't done cocaine and don't REALLY know, I used to think the same about weed.

But once I got pregnant with my dd, I didn't want to take a chance that smoking weed *might* affect her. If she develops some disorder, I can say well, it isn't because I smoked with her. Whereas if she developed the SAME disorder and I had smoked I would always wonder.

Secondly, I feel like I don't want to be in an altered state while a child needs me. You never know when you might go to their room and there's blood in the potty and you have to run to the ER, yes this has happened to me (just a prolapsed rectum-but scared us bad). What if I had been high and had a hard time driving, what if I didn't react like I would normally, etc. Just the normal what-ifs that you think about. Even if I had a sitter and I went out and got hammered, or high as a kite, I *might* have to make a run home. I don't live near family, so to me, these are the reasons I don't get drunk/ high...

Even sober there are so many what-ifs, but I am not relaxed enough to just let life be life I guess.

But when they grow up... well we'll see
post #79 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post
I would not want known drug users in my life. If not for my sake, then for my children's.
Do you take aspirin? Tylenol? Ever eat refined sugar (get that quick buzz!!)? Caffeine? Ever have a glass of wine to wind down?

These are drugs too. The fact that M.J is illegal is the real crime. They are uncovering so many medicinal purposes for it. It is also by far the safest and most effective means for treating severe nausia in pregnancy. (I'm talking puking so much that you're getting dehydrated and unable to eat anything... not something you can just tough out). There are ways to take it that do not involve smoking. I wonder if your friend would still want to be friends with you if she knew how much you were judging her?
post #80 of 112
thanks, karina, for linking the jamaican study. when i first heard of it i was blown away by her findings. those kids were loved, well cared for, and totally healthy. it wasn't an arranged clinical study with volunteers and such, but a social experiment done over the course of a few years, to really follow up with the kids' development. i'd rather see studies like that than from a government that bows to big oil and big pharma before the health and interest of its citizens.

i only smoked 2ce during my pregnancy and maybe 4-5 times while bf, but i did take prozac, zoloft, ibuprofen, zantac, and tums. if i got pg today i would not hesitate to vaporize as much mj as i needed to feel mentally/emotionally and physically healthy. it terrifies me that i took that other stuff when a safer, cleaner option that's been around and used for hundreds of years was available. pg or not i don't touch crap like that anymore because i don't like filling my body with artificial chemicals.

i choose to smoke now because i think it's far better for me (in terms of safety and effectiveness) than any rx antidepressant available (and i've tried quite a few). when i started using it again it motivated me to finally get a job, lose 90 pounds, and generally live a more fulfilling life. most importantly, i'm never "too high" to care for my son. in fact, i firmly believe that mj enables me to be a kinder, gentler parent and i am forever grateful for what it has taught me.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Parenting: Moms who smokes dope...