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10 weeks preggo and dp is cheating - Page 3

post #41 of 48
Hi Pranava
I haven't posted on this board for ages but read it still on and off.

I'm so so sorry that what should be a lovely time in your life and your relationship is so crappy right now.

I have no more words only
post #42 of 48
post #43 of 48
Originally Posted by pranava View Post
I know I should not let her have the power in this situation. I should choose, but I only have one choice to make, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to tell her to leave. I cry over everything I think of - we were supposed to grow old together. She's saying really terrible things like she hasn't been happy for the past 8 years, but I know that's not true. I was there too. I think she's focising on every negative situation we've ever encountered and has completely forgotten the positives. Her view of reality is skewed becuase this new infatuation feels so perfect. It doesn't help to know this new girl is 24. DP is 42 - mid-life crisis?
its funny you say that. i really do think that 24-ish is the new time to have a midlife crisis. my dh left me when I was about 6 weeks pg with #2, #1 was still born just a few months before and we had a lot ridding on #2. He left me after numerous yrs of marriage.... we too were supposed to grow old together. He just turned 25 like 2 weeks before. i cant tell you what to do or what is right for you but I can tell you this... if your DP can do this to you when you need her most, when you are pregnant and emotional, imagine what she will and can do to you and the baby after it is born. its a lot to consider I know. I am so sorry. I know how you feel. You feel like its the end of the world.... trust me you are strong and you can and will get through it. Here I am a year and almost 3 months after my DH left me and I am the strongest woman I have ever been. I wouldnt have believed I would be here like this if you had told me. PM me if you need to chat. hang in there... hugs!!
post #44 of 48
Hi Pranava,
I haven't been on here in forever, but logged in today and saw your post. I can't begin to know what you're going through right now and won't try to put out more than what these other wonderful women have given you, but like several others have said, right now, you and the little one you are carrying are more important and you need to look out for the two of you. Easy...no. but for the best outcome of having a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wonderful gift! Good luck with everything!

Tracee dp to Melissa, moms to Kasey, Amanda, and Jesse:
post #45 of 48
I'm so sorry

This too shall pass...
post #46 of 48
Don't post here often (ever), but saw this and couldn't not respond.

I am so, so sorry mami. Broken hearts suck so very badly...been there many, many times myself.

I know that, in the moment, it is incredibly and exquisitely painful and that strength and healing seem a billion miles away...

But mami, I promise you with everything I am that someday, someday soon, you WILL get there. Hold onto that precious one in your belly and dig in your heels...you will survive to love another day!
post #47 of 48
I don't normally post in this board but saw your title and just wanted to send major s
post #48 of 48
Oh I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know what it feels like because the same thing happened to me. The details are different, i.e. I'm straight, was with a man (the baby's father). We were not married (although I'd thought maybe someday....) and lets see, I was a lot farther along in my pg, I found out about my "replacement", oh, like a week or 2 before the birth. I already knew her slightly (socially) and my impression of her: a rude, stuck-up poser, didn't like her at all, not to go into detail too much ...

Still, details are irrelevant IMO (or not very relevant) - being in love is being in love, and pregnancy is pregnancy, and having one's partner suddenly take up with a new person and express (implicitly &/or openly) that the new person is more important to them than all the intimacy you two have shared together. ... Well. What is there to say about that. I'm thinking it is a fairly common thing to happen unfortunately, and when it happened to me it was like being knocked to the ground and kicked around until everything hurt, and I could not breathe.

Pregnancy made it emotionally worse I'm SURE, IME definitely. I have been dumped before and since, but that time was worst b/c of pg and how I felt about X, I was a mess. He took a short time to "make up his mind" supposedly, but once the cat was out of the bag, it was only a short time before he told me we were over, because he chose her. I think within six months they were married & she was pregnant. I literally could not stand up straight, for weeks, months. I was at sobbing uncontrollably, buckets, even at work but could not take off (without really inconveniencing others) due to my maternity leave was going to begin very shortly thereafter, and I needed to meet with co-workers that would be covering for me. I don't think any of them asked what was wrong ... guess they figured I didn't want to talk about it ... which was TRUE for sure.

Got to admit ... this happened long ago - the kid I was pregnant with then, is now taller than I am ... but it still stings a bit sometimes. Particularly lately, as we recently had some stressful stuff happen that challenged our sorta longstanding coparenting truce a bit (led to arguments with X which made me feel pretty bad).

Btw the coparenting between us, & his parenting of ds at all, only exists at all b/c for years, I more or less forcd X to have a relationship of sorts with our child, b/c his wife "wouldn't let him" since she feared I would seduce him? which wasn't going to happen - the reason I was with him was b/c I didn't know about her until I did - but he allowed her to control him way lots IMO. But anyway, that's going a little OT but to complete my thought - Ds and his father are really close now but that certainly wouldn't be the case if I hadn't facilitated it for like 100% of the effort, the first several years, and I know it wasn't my job to see that X got to see his son frequently, but I'm really glad (for both their sakes) that I did it - well - Usually.

Of course - the marriage he left me for - didn't even last, maybe 3-4 years tops. Whatever! I did see that coming for sure.

OP - I hope you feel better soon ... and I think it does also help to be pg at such a devastating time, not only makes it harder. At least for me, it kinda forced me to take care of myself in a way I probably wouldn't have, had I not been carrying a baby.

Not sure what that smiley means but I hope it's something about wishing you some good vibes, love & light, because that's why I used it.
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