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When does it get easier??  

post #1 of 28
Thread Starter 
Hi ladies. I have an 8 week old son who I adore. However, I am so exhausted!! It feels like he never sleeps. He doesn't go more than 2 hours at night without waking up. HE NEVER NAPS during the day. I've tried everything. The only way he sleeps is in my arms for 20 minutes. If I try to put him down, he cries hysterically. I am primarily breastfeeding, but supplmenting with 6-7 oz of formula each day. I am just SO tired. He is VERY gassy. I've played around with my diet and I've changed his formula a few times to try to fix that. He only poops every 3-4 days, and only with the help of a suppository! Sometimes he seems happy, but generally he just seems uncomfortable. I know that he is overtired a lot, but he just won't sleep. WHEN DOES THIS GET EASIER!? Everyone keeps telling me, "Hang in there, it will get easier." When?? I love my baby, but I truly don't like parenting! Is something wrong with me??
post #2 of 28
With all my babies it got easier around 6 months. That seems to be the *magic* month for me. I know it's hard. Those early months can be very trying! But really, it does go fast even though it doesn't seem like it when you're in the midst of it. Hugs mamma.
post #3 of 28
It'll get easier, mama! I know it's tough. 6-8 months is magical. MAGICAL!
post #4 of 28
It does get easier but easier varies. not much help huh?

If your kiddo can nap in arms, try a sling and grab a book and rest with him.
I went stir crazy cuase my first kiddo only napped in arms but after fighting with her for 2months, I finally gave up and let her sleep in arms. Finally, she got the sleep she needed, though I was restless. Then when she slept better during the day, she slept better at night.

I so hear what you are saying! I wondered the same thing and now I have three kids.
post #5 of 28
Those first few months can be so hard.

For me, the turnaround comes when they can sit up. Not only because you can prop them up in the middle of the floor with some toys and have your hands free, but also because you can use the backpack and some different carries in the sling.

I always look at it this way-- it's God's way of making sure new mamas take plenty of time to sit down and rest. I read a lot of library books during the first five or six months.

You may want to revisit the supplementing as well. If it isn't medically indicated, it may be causing you more trouble than it's worth. Formula is harder for babies to digest and can cause constipation and gassiness. And breastfeeding can help you both relax and rest.
post #6 of 28
I found with both my kiddos there were a few milestone points at which things seemed much better than before. One would definitely be around 3 months, when they get more interested in the world around them and more likely to be happy to be put down for a (short) while. And I agree with the other mamas that around 6 months is another time when things suddenly seem to shift into "life is easier" mode.

My first dd only napped in arms for the first 6 months of her life. I just went with it and ended up watching lots of TV series' on DVD (lol). When ds came along I already had dd to keep up with so sitting around watching TV with a babe in arms just wasn't gonna happen. He ended up taking almost all of his naps in the baby carrier (a mei tai was what worked best for us, but every babe/mama is different).

One piece of advice I would give is to try to get out of the house as much as possible. It doesn't seem like such a drag to have your baby napping in a carrier on you all the time if at the same time you're out walking, shopping, sitting in a cafe reading a book (if your babe will let you sit that is, lol), etc.

If your LO is very gassy/uncomfortable (and therefore fussy which probably leads to mama being exhausted and frazzled) you might want to consider either not supplementing with formula (perhaps giving expressed breastmilk in a bottle instead?), trying a new formula, and/or trying a different type of bottle (I've heard that Dr. Brown bottles are good for gassiness). I know that formula can be a lot harder on the wee digestive systems than bm. Having the break of giving one formula feeding might not be worth it if it leads to fussy/gassy babe.

Hang in there mama! There is light at the end of the tunnel - I promise!

ETA: I don't know if you're already co-sleeping, but if not you might want to give it a try. My dd slept in a basinette by the side of the bed and later in her crib which was in the same room as us. DS, on the other hand, has slept in the bed with us from day 1 and it has been SO much easier, and I've been able to get SO much more sleep and feel SO much more well-rested. Just rolling over onto my side to give him the boob, still lying there in my comfy bed is miles better than having to get out of bed, get baby, bring her to my bed to nurse her then carefully try to get her back in the basinette without waking her. I'm a big time convert to co-sleeping, lol!
post #7 of 28
Hang in there, Mama, hang in there.

My DD was the queen of the cat nap - I started trying to remember the 5 S's (Shhhh (sound), swing (any motion), sidelying, sucking and swaddling) and things got better.

DD had to be in a very deep sleep before we attempted to put her down/move her. Arms limp, the breathing pattern change, the whole nine yards. She was swaddled for more than a year. She's 23 months old now and we still use a white noise machine for naps and night. I nursed her down and then we popped in a pacifier because it was the only thing saving my sanity. She slept on her side until she could roll over on her own, and has been a tummy sleeper ever since. Up until about 3 months ago, I was rocking and singing to her to get her down for he naps.

Do what you have to do to get her to nap during the day. If that means a swing, a car ride a few times a day, a stroller walk, carrying her in a sling, whatever, get her to sleep - it'll make your nights more tolerable.

Don't put her down until after the 25 minute mark - 20 minutes is a baby's light sleep cycle length, so just when you think that surely she's been asleep long enough for you put her down, she's really in a light sleep cycle, and if anything changes during that light sleep, she's GOING to wake up.

Or at least, that's what we dealt with for several months. It got better around the time she started sitting up, taking more predictible, longer length, better organized naps.
post #8 of 28
If you've got a sling or mei tai I would highly recommend either. All of my babes were high needs until 3-4mos and the only way they napped was being carried or in the car. At least then you have your hands to do other things while you wear them. I also second a pp mention of revisiting your decision to supplement if it isn't for medical reasons as it could be making babe even gassier/more constipated (the iron in formula is often the culprit in constipation). Hang in there Mama- I have been there and it truly does get easier!
post #9 of 28
I think as a new mom every age and stage differs. I found I "coped" better after 12 weeks. I finally knew my son a little more and was relaxing into parenthood. But just when you think you're into a pattern and routine it changes. Every week is a different challenge.

My favorite age is 9 months-15 months. I feel 15-2.5 is rough as anything! And 3 and 4 is a breeze.
post #10 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
Those first few months can be so hard.

For me, the turnaround comes when they can sit up. Not only because you can prop them up in the middle of the floor with some toys and have your hands free, but also because you can use the backpack and some different carries in the sling.

I always look at it this way-- it's God's way of making sure new mamas take plenty of time to sit down and rest. I read a lot of library books during the first five or six months.

You may want to revisit the supplementing as well. If it isn't medically indicated, it may be causing you more trouble than it's worth. Formula is harder for babies to digest and can cause constipation and gassiness. And breastfeeding can help you both relax and rest.



this is what i thought of first. mommy milk, i believe i heard around here somewhere, has stuff to relax baby IN IT. more mommy milk=more relaxed baby.

not that taking him off of formula will fix the whole thing...but it could help...especially if he is not sleeping/not sleeping long because of gas pains. that is what consistently woke up my ds when he was younger (now 14.5 weeks). he'd wake up we'd burp and move his legs around, give him some more nursies and he'd fall right back asleep.
post #11 of 28
Have you looked into a hind milk imbalance? Thats what i had and my baby was gassy and uncomfortable, with green slimy/frothy poos. We fixed it using Block feeding, nursing at one breast for all feeds for a period of hours before switching.

There is nothing wrong with you either, some people just do better with different ages, and some babies are a bit easier. For example my mum really hates the newborn phase, loves the baby just not the stage, whilst i love it.

I would consider my baby to be a very easy baby, but even she wont sleep very long out of my arms, and there is no way i can get her down without her being in arms. Can you feed him sid laying? thats what i do at night, that way i can doze or sleep whilst she sleeps in very dim lighting.
post #12 of 28
Oh my, you sound like me. I really did not enjoy parenting a newborn and I spent a lot of time thinking "what have I done?" and was pretty certain that I had messed my life up! However, for me, month 5 was magical. All of a sudden DS could entertain himself for a few minutes - heaven! Alas month 6 was not so good again (we weathered a nursing strike which ended after the emergence of 2 teeth and he learned to crawl). However, since month 7 things have been fabulous. It is still hard and I still have basically no free time (except at work - ha ha) but I can truly say that I enjoy being a parent. Hang in there momma. You can do this.
post #13 of 28
We just hit three mos, and it is a tiny bit easier. some things that have helped me: Wonder Weeks book, long walks in the Moby wrap listening to podcasts (i feel more connected with the adult world this way and get time "alone"), side-lie nursing during the day so i'm in a position to nap if he falls asleep.

that said, it's still freakin' hard. i'm pinning all my hopes on 6mos.
post #14 of 28
Thread Starter 
THANK YOU ladies for giving me hope!! I appreciate all of your encouragement and suggestions. Just to answer a few questions:
I do co-sleep! It's been wonderful
I have a carrier (the Infantino), but he's growing out of it, so it's time for a new one!
The whole breastfeeding thing: I am a registered nurse who has had experience working with lactation consultants. I have tried EVERYTHING to up my supply... fenugreek, protein, frequent (and I mean frequent!) feedings followed by pumping. I have had blood work done. For some reason, I have a TRUE supply issue. I would be thrilled to exclusively breastfeed!! It's all I want!
My little man continues to be fussier and fussier each day! I've done an elimination diet, switched the formula (we are down to only 3-4 oz a day!!!), etc. The 5 S's don't work. He won't take a pacifier (as hard as I try!) I've even resorted to trying to teach him to suck his thumb!
He HATES (and I mean Hates!) his carseat and the car. (We are on carseat #3!) Taking him to his doctors appointments or out is hell as all he does is scream in the car. This doesn't bode well for taking him for walks either!
He does like his sling, however. But... how much can a girl walk?

I am praying you are all right and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. I hate to feel like I'm wishing his infancy away... but I am!
post #15 of 28
Actually, slinging him around the house may help a lot, and let you get things like a load of laundry or running the dishwasher orr whatever done.

Have you tried a nurse-in - 3 days of lying in bed with him and all you do is nurse the whole time, as long and as frequently as you can possibly get him to latch on? Many women on here have reported surprising success using this method.
post #16 of 28
8 months was our magic point. Before that, DD was just like you described... wouldn't nap, wouldn't let us put her down, etc.

But at 6 months it got better, and by 8 months she seemed more happy than ticked. Now, at 14 months, she's a smiley-happy little girl.

Be strong! Just keep saying, "This too shall pass!"
post #17 of 28


I HIGHLY recommend a blue celery sling. I wore my dd in it constantly (in the cradle position -- the far left picture in the first page of the link) for her first few months. She really liked to be worn, and walked. So, I would sling her and do laps around my house and then take off the sling with her in it (very carefully ) and place her in a curved 'bouncy' chair. It was the only way to get her down...as soon as she felt she was laying 'flat' in a bed she woke. Not sure if that helps or would work for you, but I recommend it, the sling is amazing, because it forms to your body and the material makes it really easy and comfortable to wear for long periods.

Good luck, hth!
post #18 of 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by annettemarie View Post
For me, the turnaround comes when they can sit up. Not only because you can prop them up in the middle of the floor with some toys and have your hands free, but also because you can use the backpack and some different carries in the sling.
My dd was crawling before she learned to sit up. no propping for us.

To the OP - . I don't know if it gets easier per se as there are new challenges with each stage; but I think you just get more comfortable, more adjusted, etc. You're doing great I'm sure!
post #19 of 28
I think around 6 months it got a lot easier. Sure, there are issues now that weren't issues before... but in general, this age is soooo much easier than 3 months.
post #20 of 28
There is some relief at 3 months (at least for us) but the real payoff is 6 months and then again when they learn to crawl. Ds is sooo much more content now that he can be mobile!
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