Children = Messy House? - Page 3

[ryansma]

I don't think children automatically = messy house. Our house definately looks different but there are places for everything. I think it's important that ds not have so many things that he doesn't learn to steward what he has.

[hellyaellen]

alot of it has to do with not feeling guilty about getting rid of the stuff that family mambers insist on buying........

[Miss Information]

Originally Posted by hellyaellen

alot of it has to do with not feeling guilty about getting rid of the stuff that family mambers insist on buying........

Still, regardless of whether or not the items in question are useful or unnecessary, I dread birthdays and Christmas because there are four adult siblings on my side, 1 sib on dh's side, and two of grandparents, one doting great-aunt. At the bare minimum, that's 9 items per child at Christmas time, resulting in 27 new things that came into my home because NO ONE in the family on either side wants to do a grab bag for the kids. And usually, it's not just 1 item per child. It's disgusting and I hate having to deal with the aftermath, but that's our reality come the holidays.

Do I get rid of 27 comparable old things just to maintain stasis? Not necessarily the same amount or at the same time the items come in, but yes, eventually things do get moved out. I do know that has to happen. I finally get that guilt has no place in this process.

I don't harbor guilty feelings any more and eventually things get chucked, but usually in order to at least some respect the person who gave it, I keep it for 6 months or so, then chuck it. Most "so-so" gifts stay in storage long enough for me not to feel bad for getting rid of it, or on my "re-gifting" shelf because it's perfect for someone else.

[KaliShanti]

If you have children, do you automatically have a messy house?

I'm not talking about toys-on-the-floor-that-we-were-just-playing-with messy. I'm talking about wondering to myself as I sit in friends' living room, "if I lived here, and my mom told me to clean up, would I be able to? Do mom and dad put away their toys, so that I can see how it's done? Is there somewhere to *put* these toys?"

My 15 month old likes to scatter his toys all over but they fit (basically) into two large baskets, so when it's time to clean up, it's very easy. I don't think he needs more than two basketfulls of smaller toys (that can fit into the baskets). He has about five other larger toys that get put away underneath an entryway table. Of course he also scatters my kitchen supplies and stuff like that, but they get put back where they belong as well. He will often help me put his toys away when I ask him to/help him.

[KayleeZoo]

I used to wholeheartedly believe that my 3 very young children were the reason that my house was constantly messy. After spending some time soul-searching and being really honest with myself, I can admit that my kids aren't the problem. As an adult, I set the tone. I am responsible for the enviornment that we live in. I, like a PP, believe that children are better served in a tidy and clean home. But it takes a lot of effort to make it happen.

Reading the book It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh helped me to get rid of "things" that I mistakenly felt I needed to keep for emotional attachment reasons. And I don't want my kids to remember their childhood home as messy, cluttered or dirty. With a schedule and a commitment to only having as much as you have storage for, anyone's house can be tidy- if the person who is in charge is determined to make it happen. That was the key for me. I wanted my 3 kids to be my excuse for a messy house. Now I know that I'm the person in control of our envoironment and it motivates me to have a better space for my kids.

[newbymom05]

Or how about laundry? Pre-children, I would go to people's houses w/ littles and think, "Gah! Laundry on the couch? What's wrong with these people? Can't they get it together?" Oh, karma. Now I understand! Or when I read the Flylady habit was a load a day I was all, a load of laundry each and every day? How on earth is that possible? Do they wash 3 things at a time? Again, now I know. How do such little people who don't really go anywhere special generate so. much. laundry???

[hellyaellen]

totally.

i'm good wearing the same thing more than once but the kids just get things so nasty.......

[Teensy]

Oh, yeah, that karma . . . when I was pregnant with #1 I rode in a friend's car who had a toddler. I was disgusted by the state of her car and remember thinking, even if your DC gets Cheerios and little toys all over the seat, can't you at least clean it up when you get home. Yeah right. After bringing a toddler home from running errands, changing diapers or supervising potty time, getting them the meal or snack they are due, bringing in severals bags of groceries and the dry cleaning, mom might manage to finally go pee, but she's not gonna be heading back out to the car with a dustbuster to get it cleaned out on a daily basis.

*****

I think much of the issue depends solely on your DC's personality. My DD will play with one type of toy (say, her dollhouse) and clean it up when she is done. My DSs like to mix up all the toys and various household items in their playing. It's creative, which I hate to squelch, but also created a messy house. For example, today they had a "Webkinz Parade" - they made parade floats out of various thing with wheels (shoeboxes with K'nex wheels, Lego vehicles, a shoe with Lego wheels taped to it), lit the parade route with the Chistmas lights they retrieved from the attic while I was in the shower, set their animals all up and down the "parade route" (which stretched through our entire house), took their desks light out into the hall to provide extra illumination, hung paper decorations they made for the event, yadda yadda yadda, got the picture? It was cute, it was fun for them, but now my house is a diaster and they have refused to clean it up and it is bedtime and now my house is messy and yes, I do blame it on having kids in the house!

Sometimes I think I haven't reinforced the "one toy out at a time" that other parents seem to have trained their children in, but then I look at DD and think it is just how some kids are born, cause she is so very different from her brothers.

[newbymom05]

Originally Posted by Teensy

Oh, yeah, that karma . . . when I was pregnant with #1 I rode in a friend's car who had a toddler. I was disgusted by the state of her car and remember thinking, even if your DC gets Cheerios and little toys all over the seat, can't you at least clean it up when you get home. Yeah right. After bringing a toddler home from running errands, changing diapers or supervising potty time, getting them the meal or snack they are due, bringing in severals bags of groceries and the dry cleaning, mom might manage to finally go pee, but she's not gonna be heading back out to the car with a dustbuster to get it cleaned out on a daily basis.

*****

Yes!!!! That reminds me of another--glass doors and windows. I remember strolling w/ my first baby and seeing people's grubby storm doors, and I'd think, they're busy but surely they can wipe off their kid's hand/face/nose/mouth/tongue smudges??? Now I DO wipe mine off--just not every hour, which is what it'd take to keep my storm door clean.

[annethcz]

I really think it comes down to priorities. And I don't mean that in a bad way. For some people (children or not), having a clean house is very important and they are willing to put a lot of time and effort into making sure that their house stays clean. For other people, a clean house isn't *as* important, and they will choose to do something else rather than clean at times.

I do know people- good moms who spend lots of time with their children- who have clean, lovely, decluttered homes. They make their home a priority and it shows. I think that with kids, it certainly takes more effort to keep a home clean, and people who are ambivalent about having a clean house often let things slide because it's so hard to keep up with.

[craftymom]

My house is clean, but messy. As in, the floors are mopped and vacuumed, and the next day they are covered in Legos.

My mil always says "my house was neat because I only allowed my kids to play with 1 toy at a time! If they wanted another, they had to put the first away." No, her house was neat because she's a task master and a neat freak and very controlling.

Well, personally, I like the fact that older ds built a lincoln log shed for younger ds's trains. Or the fact that the legos are used to make a hot wheels racing pit. Yes, my kids mix their toys up, and yes that means there can be a lot out at once. But I think it's creative. And yes, the kids do put them back where they belong. When they are done with the trains, the race cars, whatever. And then I vacuum and mop!

Now, if they pull out playmobil and go to another room, they can either put it back or clean up the first setup (as we call them around here!).

[Oliver's Mama]

actually, I let the smudges accumulate on my windows and glass endtables. At the end of the day when he's in bed, I find it cute to see remnants of him exploring. My MIL was tickled to death when she looked at her backdoor and saw little smudged fingerprints. I also get a laugh out of all the strange places I find cheerios (how in the world did it get THERE????).
Before ds, I was crazy with windex every few days and freaked out when a friend brought her toddler and he smudged my coffee table. I wouldn't say I consider myself more messy now or that I tolerate more mess, but that I now see it in a different light and don't consider signs of a child's careless, carefree ways to be a mess, but rather, a joy.