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Originally Posted by witchygrrl
 also, did your newborns have nightmares at all? she'll be sleeping peacefully, and then all of sudden cry out for a few seconds in her sleep. it's always heartbreaking when she does this, and we think it's because of nightmares.
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Originally Posted by zoebird
they're desparate to buy a bassinette for me. like my ILs, they're *not listening*. i explained the continuum concept, which they think is realy crazy because "of course you'll want to put the baby down." which may or may not be true, btu that doesn't require a bassinette either.
they say that my sister can store it, which is fine, except when "in use" there's no real space. i think they're just freaked about co-sleeping, and dad asserts that no organization that is "real" or "withotu dubious or unknown backing" thinks that cosleeping is a good idea. so, there you go. Mohtering and all-ya'll are "dubious with unknown backing." well i already knew that, but cnosidering it's the way that people sleep all over the world and have for centuries, i figure that has a bit more longevit and clout than say, the APA or whatever. LOL so, they're going to try and coerse me to take one; i m ight be able to distract them with something else, but what i haevn't figured out yet. i figure if they read TCC, they might "get" it, but ryan wants to read it before handing it off to my parents. and, i have to cleant he car. it needs to be vaccummed and also there is a weird spot in the back on the upholstry. should get that out before putting the car seat in. that's all here. oh, and my computer is still at the shop and they won't return my calls, so i'm going by in a few.  |
So for us: We are currently trying not to let Abby look at the TV while we're watching, so she just gets glimpses every once in a while. But it's hard, and we feel guilty for watching the TV and not paying attention to her, so we're trying to cut back. We were watching about 45 min-1 hr of TV every night while we ate dinner, and she would sit in a baby chair facing us. So now we're going to try eating dinner at the table w/no TV. It helps that she can sit in her high chair while we eat, now.
We just really don't like the idea of her seeing ads before she can start to understand on some level that their purpose is to manipulate her. Also, I got that book Elizabeth recommended called Endangered Minds--it had some interesting things to say about TV, and even recommended delaying/decreasing TV until the child learns how to read, as TV watching can decrease comprehension skills. The book's point was that TV is a passive learning experience (if it's a learning experience at all), whereas reading requires active translation of words to concepts. So if a kid watches too much TV, they can develop passive learning habits and don't have great reading/learning skills in general.
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I know she's not doing anything on purpose, but it certainly starts to feel like that sometimes.
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Originally Posted by snozzberry
hear such honest accounts of what everyone is trying to do with TV. I just love you ladies.
So for us: We are currently trying not to let Abby look at the TV while we're watching, so she just gets glimpses every once in a while. But it's hard, and we feel guilty for watching the TV and not paying attention to her, so we're trying to cut back. We were watching about 45 min-1 hr of TV every night while we ate dinner, and she would sit in a baby chair facing us. So now we're going to try eating dinner at the table w/no TV. It helps that she can sit in her high chair while we eat, now.But I had planned on not letting her watch TV (in our house at least) before the age of 2, maybe longer. Maybe that's not reasonable--we'll see. I mean she's 6 months old now, and we're just now starting to adjust our TV watching habits to what we had planned to before she arrived. We just really don't like the idea of her seeing ads before she can start to understand on some level that their purpose is to manipulate her. Also, I got that book Elizabeth recommended called Endangered Minds--it had some interesting things to say about TV, and even recommended delaying/decreasing TV until the child learns how to read, as TV watching can decrease comprehension skills. The book's point was that TV is a passive learning experience (if it's a learning experience at all), whereas reading requires active translation of words to concepts. So if a kid watches too much TV, they can develop passive learning habits and don't have great reading/learning skills in general. |
. But we do have a bag of kettle chips always in the house, and I start getting stressed when Fenton requests them. But it seems wacky to not want him to eat something that I keep in the house. So I'm having to approach it backwards, of what is reasonable to have in our family life, and then go from there on helping Fenton to regulate. I guess that's a long way of saying: I dunno 
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Originally Posted by snozzberry
Napping changes: Abby has always been a frequent napper and has always had decently long naps. She stays awake for 1-2 hours before being ready for a nap, then she sleeps 45 min-1.5 hrs. But in the last week, she's been pushing it to 2-3 hrs between naps and only sleeping for 30 min at a time!!! And getting her down for the nap has never been harder--we have to bounce her on the exercise ball for a looooong time. Sometimes it takes 2 or 3 times before we can put her down & she'll stay asleep. Also, she was never a "colicky" baby but in the last week, she's been fussy from early evening to 11 pm, and it's super hard to get her down to a nap during that time and also very hard to get her to go to sleep for the night.
What could be causing this?!? Possibilities I can think of:
And I'm sure I don't have to tell you ladies this as a lot of us have been thru times like this, but I really feel like I'm about to reach a breaking point. I'll bounce her for 10-15 min (my back muscles are constantly sore as a result), lay her down, then her eyes will pop open and if I don't pick her up right away, she'll arch her back (new skill) and CRY CRY CRY hard. Last night, when I was feeling achy and snotty and she was NOT sleeping, I was really not feeling very nice feelings towards her. I know she's not doing anything on purpose, but it certainly starts to feel like that sometimes.Okay, sorry for the novel... |
. But I really do believe that if you do the best you can (really the best you can) in any moment, you can forgive yourself a lot because you feel confident that you have always done your absolute best. All of these rules we come up with for what is best for kids are pretty irrelevent when your child sees that you were a constantly-striving parent.
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Originally Posted by ~Shanna~
Developing a sleep plan on Pantley's advice in NCSS for Toddlers. Will report back, it has been wonderfully helpful in clarifying what to work on.
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Originally Posted by snozzberry
even recommended delaying/decreasing TV until the child learns how to read, as TV watching can decrease comprehension skills. The book's point was that TV is a passive learning experience (if it's a learning experience at all), whereas reading requires active translation of words to concepts. So if a kid watches too much TV, they can develop passive learning habits and don't have great reading/learning skills in general.
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Originally Posted by PiePie
I am a bit sad tonight. I went to a party held by an old friend of mine. we have been friends since age 5, although not v. good friends for quite a while. certainly not since i've known dh. but like many relationships it has ebbed and flowed. so i left feeling not only neglected and not understood but a huge gulf between me and her on parenting style. the worst was when dd pinched her dog she said to dd, you wouldn't want to be pinched and pinched dd! when dh said to me, "They are just vacuous people" I had to agree that we won't be schlepping out to the suburbs again to see them. i am feeling keenly my lack of girlfriends (esp mama friends) with whom I have contact IRL.
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Originally Posted by TwilightJoy
Shanna (or anyone else)- I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on Biden.
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Originally Posted by PiePie
there is a middle ground here. when dd starts watching tv (age 3?) (more likely onlyl dvds) we intend to use closed captioning. finland has the best literacy rates in the world, and they don't start sch until age 7. but all their tv has cc. i think there might be a relationship. at any rate that's the plan.
also i really like common sense media's website re which specific tv programs, dvds, etc. |
Feeling more loving, with a plan to get a very dim nightlight so that I can see DSs face in the night if we're having trouble like this. I think it will help me. Went to church this morning and had 2 moms look at me in alarm when they heard about the night we had, saying "Well, my kids slept through the night at 3 months old!" Thanks, that's helpful. One of the moms laughed and said that I needed to "shut the baby monitor off, close the door, and have him sleep in the basement if needed" : I'm trying to forget that her baby was diagnosed with failure to thrive, because I know that happens for all kinds of reasons. Then, a dearly-loved gentleman at my church was telling me all about his naive DIL who "didn't believe in spanking", and he kept telling her "just you wait". Well, apparently she eventually spanked out of anger and was so happy to see that "it worked! 
:" WHAT??!!! YOu mean violence and coercion work?! Well, what the hell am I doing over here?????
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Originally Posted by TwilightJoy
Shanna (or anyone else)- I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on Biden.
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