I want you all to know that I have lurked this thread from the beginning. You all moved on from the NMY thread, and I ended up mostly lurking that one too while DP and I put TTC out of our heads pretty much, to be reevaluated in January 2011. I never even bothered to update my info in the NMY threads to reflect this. For various financial and professional reasons, I was resigned to not starting a family for a few more years. It is because I have lurked so much that I feel like I "know" you all so well, although I'm sure you don't feel the same. But I hope you don't mind that I share with you a little about my life lately. I need the support of mama-friends now more than ever.
On December 1st, my mom died.
: Her long journey with early stage Alzheimer's Disease was finally at an end. Even though my mother had been sick for so long, her death still came as a shock. None of my family was expecting it; we all honestly thought -- based on what we knew of the typical progression of Alzheimer's -- that we would have her for at least another couple of years. I can't detail right now about the last months, and how things ended, because it is just too horrific. I am glad she is no longer suffering, but I am left without my mother.
Needless to say, I still feel as though I will never stop crying.
Yesterday, December 19th, I got a BFP.
This, from a single, sleepless, uncharted, unplanned, low-odds, grief-stricken, emotion-led, reason-absent night during the time of the wake and funeral. Needless to say, I still feel as though I will never stop crying.
I hope you don't mind if I join you.
: Like I said, I need the support of mama-friends now more than ever.