i think that problems from before become pronounced after. so, i don't anticipate any real problems here.
our relationship has changed. ryan talked with me about how he feels very 'number 2' in my life, but also understands why. he used to be number 1, and of course when october j was dying, he was number 1, but that was temporary.
he just finished reading the continuum concept, and he totally gets how babies become number one, and also how our relationship has to adapt as well. he also read another article somewhere about when fathers really come to the fore in the child-parent relationships, which helped him a great deal.
he is involved, excited, etc--but he has to 'take care of' more things for himself than before. for example, i used to have way more patience for his whining, his piles of mess (clutter) and what not. he used to be able to really vent to me about anything ad infinitum until it was worked out.
not so anymore. i ahve other things on my mind/plate, and so he has to take care of a lot of that on his own. he's found this difficult, and he's found me "cold" because of it, but he's also understanding that my focus is on the baby and preparing for it, so i don't have a lot of physical or emotional energy to manage stuff that, technically, he should be ablet o manage on his own (and can and does, it's just that, before, he'd rely on me for "help").
so, we're finding balance. it's just new.
oh, and i'm on my friend's computer. guess what? my computer STILL isn't done and they didn't call me to let me know. i was completely ticked about it, and about their attitude. i've called to talk to corporate about it, as well as complained to the manager on site.
it's such a PITA.