Advice for helping someone with PPD

[Jombolo]

I am in need of advice. Me and my girlfriend have slowly come to the conclusion that her sister is suffering from PPD. She had her baby in March and it seems, from talking to her husband, thats when the symptoms started, however they seem to be getting gradually worse. I read up on all the symptoms and she seems to have most or all of them..anxiety, crying a lot, "breathing" problems, she things everyone hates her, extensive lying, extremely irritable with everyone, and one i fear could be dangerous - heavy drinking mixed with anxiety and pain pills. Shle also doesn't seem to want to connect in that motherly way with the baby. i fear this could have long term effects on the child. We really don't know how to confront her on this, we've tried a couple times, but she swears she is fine and nothing is wrong, when definitely something IS wrong. We also dont want to feel like we are trying to tell her what to do or control her or something like that. Any advice or help would be great.... Does she need to see a psychologist?

[Jillian1985]

Originally Posted by Jombolo

I am in need of advice. Me and my girlfriend have slowly come to the conclusion that her sister is suffering from PPD. She had her baby in March and it seems, from talking to her husband, thats when the symptoms started, however they seem to be getting gradually worse. I read up on all the symptoms and she seems to have most or all of them..anxiety, crying a lot, "breathing" problems, she things everyone hates her, extensive lying, extremely irritable with everyone, and one i fear could be dangerous - heavy drinking mixed with anxiety and pain pills. Shle also doesn't seem to want to connect in that motherly way with the baby. i fear this could have long term effects on the child. We really don't know how to confront her on this, we've tried a couple times, but she swears she is fine and nothing is wrong, when definitely something IS wrong. We also dont want to feel like we are trying to tell her what to do or control her or something like that. Any advice or help would be great.... Does she need to see a psychologist?

Yes she needs a psychologist or she needs to go back to her OB. I don't want to hear about someone doing what I've been doing the last 20 months. I am just now getting some help in the next week for the VERY first time. I wish I would have done it sooner. The first year I was in denial. I didn't think it was postpartum depression. She knows there is something wrong with her, especially with her crying often. She knows something is wrong and she is to scared to come forward. She probably fears she'll be judged bad. This could be deeper and WAY worse then any of you know. I hid mine from my husband for a LONG time and everyone else. I tried killing myself a few times. Sometimes it just gets to the point where you can't take it anymore with the feelings you have that you try to fix a temporary problem with a permanent solution. She is obviously in need of help. If you want to go that extra mile call the suicide hotline and speak with someone on there. It's free ( 1-800-SUICIDE ) someone on there will be able to help you with ways to help her. I can't stress how much she needs help. But for now don't try dragging her in somewhere for help and ragging on her trying to force it on her. It will most likely piss her off. But she must be wanting to talk to someone. Let her know what she is going through happens to all types of people, it's not normal, but it is treatable and nobody will think any different of her including the doctor(s). I'm dealing with this for 20 months now, fighting day by day to not harm myself. It's not something that I would ever wish on anyone. Call the hotline and ask for advice, they are better at talking then I am. And good luck to her.

[Jillian1985]

Also, talk to your g/f and ask her who her sister ( if you don't already know ) is closest to and able to talk to about anything. Then have that person have a one on one conversation with her away from anyone and everyone else. Let them know not to start the conversation out with something about PPD, just let the conversation lead in that direction. I know it helps me to hear about others who had PPD. It helped me realize I'm not alone. Maybe show her sister a site with information on it. Someone has referred an awesome site to me postpartum.net. I e-mailed a lady on that site to give me some info I didn't see on the site for myself. The lady called me today and she was awesome. She helped comfort me a lot. She gave me a depression screening test which I scored high on ( high on this test isn't good ). She called my nearest hospital and is awaiting information from them for a really good doctor and she'll call me back in the A.M. My point is, there are numbers you, your g/f and her sisters husband can call to get advice from people who know how to talk with someone who is dealing with depression. PPD doesn't go away on it's own.

[Jombolo]

Thanks a lot Jillian. I appreciate your openess about the situation. Its hard becuase her husband seems to be in denial too, making excuses for her...which then makes me second guess myself into thinking "maybe nothing IS wrong", but its hard to ignore the behavior. I'll do my best to see if we can get someone to finess the issue into a convo with her. I understand the depression to an extent, i had my bout with depression 10 years ago and got wonderfull help for it. I just dont like seeing others have to go thru it or worse situations. Good luck to you and thanks for the reply.

[Thandiwe]

The baby's safety needs to be addressed, too. If there is evidence of substance abuse, someone needs to step in and take care of this baby and be certain he/she is safe. I hope that someone close to the baby is addressing this issue.