4 days into PS Kindy, and I'm not doing well - Page 2

[mran]

They use this type of thing at my ds's school, but with only green, yellow, and red. If they get a yellow, they miss 1 recess. If they get red, they miss two, and then get Friday Negative, which means they have to sit in a class and right an apology letter to the parents for their poor behavior.

My kid accidently punched a kid this week (seriously, it was an accident, and the kid responded by punching him to the floor) and got an automatic red. After 2 missed recesses, he got a pretty stern talking to, and then a trip to the park and ice cream. LOL

[mistymama]

Originally Posted by mata

my oldest is in third grade and has gone through this similar system-in first grade she was saying "no thank you" to the candies offered for good behavior. it's a learning opportunity-one of many in this world where we as parents can teach them to challenge the norm.

I always told my dd when she was in kindergarten that this was a way to keep a big group of kids behaving so they could get their work done, but that she didn't need to get wrapped up in what the teacher thought of her behavior, and to conduct herself well for her own satisfaction. Seems to have worked fine.

I this. My son told me yesterday that their reward for doing their counting with M&Ms yesterday was to eat the candy afterwards. My son just does not care for candy much and he told me his teacher was so shocked that he wasn't interested in eating, and eventually told him to eat them, or throw them away. He threw them away.

[MCR]

They use the card systen in all the K and 1st grade at our local school too. Theres no purple though. It starts at green, it seemed to work well for most kids when I was helping in the classroom, the teacher wasn't overly focused on it.
I think she should ditch the purple to get rid of the competition. Afterall what earns purple, being really nice to the teacher or just doing all the work and tasks expevted for the day. It's taking away from the overall success of the card system.

[LindaCl]

Originally Posted by kindacrunchy

Thank you, everybody! Apparently it is a statewide mandatory thing so that parents can't say they were unaware of their children's behavior.

Enough's enough...these mandates just get more stupid by the day.

[LindaCl]

Originally Posted by MommaCrystal

Oy, this card flip system! I nearly lost my job over my refusal to use it. It WAS manadatory at my school.

I quit eventually.

This crap is crippling education. Train and empower teachers to be professionals and then get out of their freakin' way and hand them the responsibility to do their job the way they see it best done.

[skiingmamma]

Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd

I was actually going to suggest that you give him some kind of reward for being on green yourself, but then I realized that would just support the whole paradigm you are trying to avoid in the first place.

DS's teacher sent home a letter explaining the disciplinary procedure. Every night we have to sign a notebook with a colored mark in it, corresponding to the kid's behavior card. She said we should "provide a consequence" at home if the color isn't blue, to reinforce what they are telling them in school. Now, I want DS to behave at school. But, I am not crazy about what that directive implies. For me, I would have a talk with DS about his school responsibilities. For someone else, they might beat their DC with a belt. They give no suggestions for what an appropriate consequence might be.

And, besides that, I feel like they are telling me to support their efforts to intimidate my child by intimidating him in the same manner at home. I'm not on board with that, at all. So, by the same token I wouldn't want to reward my DC according to their guidelines, either.

I don't have any good ideas about how to reconcile my disapproval of their system with my desire for DS to be happy and succeed at school. If I come up with any, I'll LYK.

I just have to say how much this bothers me. For a teacher to tell the parents to follow their methods is, to me, like saying that your not the parent at all. Like they are the ones who know how to raise your DC, not you.:

I really hate the system of PS teacher selection, which leads me to this problem. Why is it that those of us who care spend more time choosing a babysitter, then drop our kids off with someone we barely know, that the system decided was good enough to be my child's caretaker and mentor for half of their life in a school year. I do public school right now too, but I wouldn't let the teacher tell me how to interact with my children..But maybe they're used to the kind of parents who don't care.

[kindacrunchy]

Originally Posted by mata

my oldest is in third grade and has gone through this similar system-in first grade she was saying "no thank you" to the candies offered for good behavior. it's a learning opportunity-one of many in this world where we as parents can teach them to challenge the norm.

I always told my dd when she was in kindergarten that this was a way to keep a big group of kids behaving so they could get their work done, but that she didn't need to get wrapped up in what the teacher thought of her behavior, and to conduct herself well for her own satisfaction. Seems to have worked fine.

Yes, we had a similar talk but I may use your verbage because sometimes i stumble over my words when i am so against something and i can't give him concrete stuff. he is wrapped up in how the other kids behave. he asked me why his friend can't behave and stay on green like everybody else: then we played school with his younger bro by coloring pictures and he said "doesn't this deserve a purple, mommy?" i was perturbed, not at him, at his teacher. i told him i wasn't going to do the color system at home because i don't believe in it and no matter what his picture looked like i would love it because we create how we create, etc. etc. maybe next time i will let him play teacher and he can play it out. i don't like how it fosters judgement and competition, etc, etc. but, again, i will use it as a teaching tool. i just have to find a way to discuss it without getting irritated.

[mata]

Originally Posted by kindacrunchy

Yes, we had a similar talk but I may use your verbage because sometimes i stumble over my words when i am so against something and i can't give him concrete stuff. he is wrapped up in how the other kids behave. he asked me why his friend can't behave and stay on green like everybody else: then we played school with his younger bro by coloring pictures and he said "doesn't this deserve a purple, mommy?" i was perturbed, not at him, at his teacher. i told him i wasn't going to do the color system at home because i don't believe in it and no matter what his picture looked like i would love it because we create how we create, etc. etc. maybe next time i will let him play teacher and he can play it out. i don't like how it fosters judgement and competition, etc, etc. but, again, i will use it as a teaching tool. i just have to find a way to discuss it without getting irritated.

We had to deal with the ever-present judgment and not-constructive competition, too. It used to drive me crazy when my oldest was in first grade-I'd be in class and some kids would put down others for not answering things quickly enough, (oh, that's so easy! blah blah blah) and the teacher did nothing to discourage and redirect. I made sure the next year to point out my dd would do best with a teacher who DID address classroom conduct in that way, and every year since we've gotten good teachers in that regard.

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally Posted by kindacrunchy

then we played school with his younger bro by coloring pictures and he said "doesn't this deserve a purple, mommy?" i was perturbed, not at him, at his teacher. i told him i wasn't going to do the color system at home because i don't believe in it and no matter what his picture looked like i would love it because we create how we create, etc. etc. maybe next time i will let him play teacher and he can play it out. i don't like how it fosters judgement and competition, etc, etc. but, again, i will use it as a teaching tool. i just have to find a way to discuss it without getting irritated.

Our response was to make a kind of game or joke out of it. I try not to go too far with the joke, because I don't want to seem like I am mocking the system. It is what it is, and I want DS to be able to function within it, in other words I don't want him to feel like he shouldn't take part in it, because I think that would be extremely confusing to him. But at the same time, I don't want him to get too wrapped up in it. So, we joke about it.

For instance, DD farted audibly in the car the other day, and I told her I was putting her on green for it. I can't think of many specific examples, we just threaten to "punish" each other for really silly things, like forgetting what you were going to say, or not finishing your ice cream. Things like that.

DS wants to play school all of a sudden now, too. He wants to be the teacher. He makes the colored cards for me and DD, and gives us assignments. He is very generous with his praise of our work, and he is a very lenient teacher. For instance, DD is allowed to be a cat in class, and gets milk breaks, etc. Watching him "be the teacher" has actually been very reassuring for me, because he's very patient and kind.