Originally Posted by Devaya
same here. I used to be so judgmental and unforgiving of parents who yelled at their kids or even spanked them (possibly because I was yelled at and spanked) - now I'm starting to understand why parents can get pushed to their limits (not that it excuses it - just that I feel more compassion for them) and that they are human. I want to do GD with my child and I'm struggling with accepting that I prob won't be able to do it perfectly all the time, esp with my anger issues...I'm prob gonna lose my cool now and then, which is oh so hard for me to accept.
I'm struggling right now with not being able to be as crunchy as I'd like in the food department... because of finances
Unfort being a SAHM means compromises in the organic and eco-friendly everything thing...I still try to do it all but it's taking too much toll on our budget.
It's funny but a lot of second, third and fourth time moms I meet seem to have been more able to let go of some of these high standards we put on ourselves, of being perfect AP crunchy moms...as a first time mom I am still trying to do it all 'right' and am very idealistic, I think.
This is exactly right! My friends and I used to talk about so and so not bfing or cosleeping or whatever but then baby #3 or #4 comes along and then you realize that perfect isn't the goal, sanity and grace are. We as women do not give eachother the grace we should. I have spanked. Do I like it? Am I proud of myself? Hell no! But its where I was then and I am constantly trying to do better for my kids and family. I have never needed another mother criticizing me. Just a shoulder and support. The reality is that almost every family has some dysfunction in it if you look hard enough, and those of us who are trying to live up to the AP/NFL doctrine beat ourselves up harder than anyone else could, and those parents who aren't on the AP trip are not going to change because some mom disapproves. Love each other. My least AP friend has great kids, and she herself came a long way from how she was raised. She was put in the hospital by her father. So even though she isn't doing GD she is trying to be better, without having been given the skills, and without the innate curiosity alot of us AP moms have.
Love each other. Give your stuggling friends a break. Help them clean,Potluck together. I find a good potluck, even if the food literally came out of a dumpster(which sometimes it has for us), really helps the spirit.
We are all trying. Even if we have to let go of some of the ideals we started with. We will get there or close enough, and if WE don't, our kids will, because every generation tries to do better than their parents