Sweet! I totally belong in this tribe. I have thought more than once about not visiting MDC anymore because I always feel guilty and like a bad parent afterward, even though the AP/NFL thing is something I desperately want to do. It doesn't help that I am a perfectionist, and if I don't get one thing right then the other things get tossed out in frustration.
I had a c-section with my son due to pre-eclampsia and liver failure. He was in the NICU for 3 weeks (he was 6 weeks early) and my body just did not respond to pumping. I think had I had a better support system I might have been able to make it work, but no one in my family has breastfed since my great-grandma, who has passed away, and I had no idea what I was doing. So Toby is formula fed, and I'm learning to live with it.
We are TV-free except for movies/shows that DH and I watch on the laptop, but I am definitely a computer addict. Sometimes I ignore my son in favor of the Internets. I am slowly getting better at this, but it's taking me a while.
We eat organic whenever we can, but not local. I am allergic to a ton of fruit and some of the only fruits I can eat are bananas and pineapple, which aren't grown here. If eating these keeps me off sugar, I'm okay with it
We don't co-sleep. We used to, till he was 3 months, and then he moved into his own room. I'm okay with it. If he was in the same room as us he would never sleep, ever. He's a very light sleeper and hates to sleep at all so the slightest noise wakes him up. Argh.
I am slowly building up a cloth diaper stash but I'm not sure it's going to work out. I am afraid of poop and DH is not happy about CDing at all.
The hardest thing for me is my anger management issue. Toby is very needy and sometimes I just want to throw him out the window. I don't do CIO but there are days when I am tempted, and on the worst days I do put him in his crib and let him cry rather than be tempted to hurt him or myself. If I'm having this much trouble at 7 months I am worried about how I will handle him being 2 years. Yikes.
I'm so glad for this thread. It makes me feel like I am not a failure after all - there are other people like me! Yay!! *glomp*
edit: I am hoping for a waterbirth with the next baby, but I have RIDICULOUS blood pressure and don't know if it will work out. I was induced with Toby when my pressure hit 210/140, so we'll see.