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Let's do another embarrassing kid's thread:

post #1 of 112
Thread Starter 
The other night Eli and I were sitting at the computer and Loo was watching TV.
During a commerical she jumped up and said to us "Hey watch this....."
We turned around and all in one motion, Lucia juts her hip to the side, whips down her britches, smacks a bare bun and belts out "Who let the dogs out."
At first we were shocked. Just shocked.
Then Eli and I were double over unable to stop laughing.
In between gasping for air I told her never to do that again. EVER. (But, If it makes your parents laugh that hard....it's not going to end with a reprimand.)
The next day we asked my Mom to watch Loo. While we're dropping her off, I told her about the "Who let the dogs out" story. She's laughing about it and I'm getting ready to go, when Loo needs to go to the bathroom.
I took her in and after she was done, I decided I should go too before I hit the road.
When it's my turn, down come my pants and I'm ready to postition my buns on the toilet when Loo opens her mouth and PELTS at the top of her lungs "WHO LET THE STINKY DOGS OUT?"
What?!
I was super embarressed and decided the best way to handle it was to pretend it just didn't happen, once I leave the room.
I turned to Loo and hiss "Loo, Grandma goes to church and she does not like that kind of talk, so be quiet! Then I nonchalantly hicked up my britches and went to leave the bathroom......
but there's Mom, my step dad and my sister....
right outside the bathroom door- they're hanging up a planter over the stairs..
They heard the whole thing.
Now everyone knows how I really roll.
Stinky style.

Your turn.
post #2 of 112
I have nothing. But thanks for the best laugh I have had all week!
post #3 of 112
oh god that's funny.

ds was/is fascinated with the human body. That's cool, smart kid, wants to know his stuff. I answer all his questions honestly and to the best of my knowledge and when I don't know something, we look it up. Well, he seems to sock this information away to use at the most opportune times. In the grocer store when he was four, a little old lady is talking to me about the price of produce or something and he says "my heart is beating faster and faster.... my heart is pumping blood through my body... I have lots and lots of blood.... if it all came out I would be DEAD!!"

I do daycare in my home, and while we were doing lots of interviews (he was 6) his favorite thing to point out was "you're a girl, huh? well, that means you have overmies and there's eggs in there -but not like chickens! I have sperm! I have spermen in my tentacles! My sperm can make your eggs a baby... if I let them" :
post #4 of 112
ALL THE TIME dd (4) likes to freak out when I'm having my period. I try to avoid using the bathroom with her when other people are within earshot, but sometimes it's inevitable. "MOMMY! OH NO MOMMY! YOU'RE BLEEDING MOMMY!! THERE'S BLOOD COMING OUT OF YOUR BUTT! OH NO! IT'S NOT YOUR BUTT IT'S YOUR VULVA MOMMY! DID YOU SCRATCH YOURSELF MOMMY?!?! YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T PUT THINGS IN THERE MOMMY, YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF!"

why's it gotta be like that?
post #5 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunar forest View Post
My sperm can make your eggs a baby... if I let them"
post #6 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckC View Post
that was usually the reaction we got. Thing is, the way he said it kind of sounded like a threat.
post #7 of 112
This just happened today:

Ds and I were walking down the street. An older woman (later 60's, I think) walked by. Ds said (really loudly, of course) "She has a missing tooth just like ME!"

Um, er...Oh dear.
post #8 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunar forest View Post
I do daycare in my home, and while we were doing lots of interviews (he was 6) his favorite thing to point out was "you're a girl, huh? well, that means you have overmies and there's eggs in there -but not like chickens! I have sperm! I have spermen in my tentacles! My sperm can make your eggs a baby... if I let them" :
That has got to be the best pickup line ever.
post #9 of 112
he seems to think so, but so far it's not really working for him. wonder what he's doing wrong....
post #10 of 112
post #11 of 112
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
post #12 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
Oh. My. Goddess.
post #13 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
:
post #14 of 112
I think I just peed my pants a little.

My story has already been used in the "You know you're the parent of a toddler when..." thread:

DS is in the very beginning stages of potty learning and is fascinated with flushing. We were in the public restroom at the mall and he yelled out "mommy, I flush you poopies, ok?!?!" ---Um, yep. Sure, go ahead, babe, whatever floats your boat... (I did hear a giggle from the stall next to me)
post #15 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
Yep. I do..... They have great sneakers (and 30%off coupons!)
post #16 of 112
This has been the best part of my day.: (too lazy to find lol smilie)
post #17 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunar forest View Post
oh god that's funny.

ds was/is fascinated with the human body. That's cool, smart kid, wants to know his stuff. I answer all his questions honestly and to the best of my knowledge and when I don't know something, we look it up. Well, he seems to sock this information away to use at the most opportune times. In the grocer store when he was four, a little old lady is talking to me about the price of produce or something and he says "my heart is beating faster and faster.... my heart is pumping blood through my body... I have lots and lots of blood.... if it all came out I would be DEAD!!"

I do daycare in my home, and while we were doing lots of interviews (he was 6) his favorite thing to point out was "you're a girl, huh? well, that means you have overmies and there's eggs in there -but not like chickens! I have sperm! I have spermen in my tentacles! My sperm can make your eggs a baby... if I let them" :
So far, we're at the whole "babies are made in mommies' tummies, but not where your food goes" place and leaving it at that for a while.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lunar forest View Post
ALL THE TIME dd (4) likes to freak out when I'm having my period. I try to avoid using the bathroom with her when other people are within earshot, but sometimes it's inevitable. "MOMMY! OH NO MOMMY! YOU'RE BLEEDING MOMMY!! THERE'S BLOOD COMING OUT OF YOUR BUTT! OH NO! IT'S NOT YOUR BUTT IT'S YOUR VULVA MOMMY! DID YOU SCRATCH YOURSELF MOMMY?!?! YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULDN'T PUT THINGS IN THERE MOMMY, YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF!"

why's it gotta be like that?
I get that from DD, too. She is also 4.


Serendipity
post #18 of 112
Thank GOD the worst my daughter has said was when we were at home (away from ears that would have taken our child in a heartbeat).

So, about 5 years back (DD was almost 4 at the time), her and DH used to pretend they were animals. A few times, DD would take her bible cover/purse strap and clip it to DH's shirt collar and parade him around like a puppy on a leash. One day, she walked downstairs with the strap in her hand and bellowed "Daddy, do me like a doggy!"

To this day, it makes me want to hide just thinking about it.

Oh, and I cannot believe we got out of the childhood years without a public embarrassment (besides the time DD asked me if a person was a man or a woman, but thankfully she didn't hear).
post #19 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
:
post #20 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
Excuse me while I go wipe off my keyboard and monitor...
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