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Let's do another embarrassing kid's thread: - Page 4

post #61 of 112
This one was thankfully at home, not in front of anyone. When my DS was very tiny, my DDs were really fascinated when I would change him or bathe him, b/c they hadn't seen any little boys unclothed before. So I was changing the baby's diaper, and my 5 yr old DD points to his testicles and says "Mama, is that his brain?" I about died.
post #62 of 112
His brain... oh my god, that's hilarious!
post #63 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by simple living mama View Post
My kids and I just walked out of the kids and into the adults section of the library because I needed to get a homeschooling book and my daughter who was across the room yells out, "mom, where are all those books of all the naked people you showed me?".
Oh that's great. That one would have had me blushing, I think.

I heart this thread.
post #64 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by fireant View Post
I took my DD (age 2) camping at a big music festival a few weeks ago. While we were leaving, we were told that one kid she was playing with had ring-worm and also that someone had found a tick on another kid.

So when I dropped her off to be with her dad, I told him that we should look out for ticks and ringworms. Somehow this must have turned into a game with them because when my DD was in the hospital for pneumonia a couple of weeks ago she started running around trying to attack people while shouting, "Ringworm check!".

A nurse looked at me and said, "this must be code for something else". I told her no, it's really about ringworm. She looked a little distrubed.
Ringworm is actually a yeast rash, it has nothing to do with worms. Cute story though!
post #65 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by leerypolyp View Post
3yo DD's new trick that she invented at a family gathering: She came up behind her Daddy, stuck her head between his legs (kind of holding the backs of his knees, and leaning forward), and yelled...

"I'M YOUR PENIS! I'M YOUR PENIS!"

This. is perfect. Now don't mind me while I go scrub coffee off of my monitor.
post #66 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziggysmama View Post
Your kid is cool.
aw, thanks. He certainly thinks so.
post #67 of 112
Oh I've got one! I'm a plus-sized woman and one day we were at the mall and DD1 (who was 3.5 at the time) saw a big, full-body poster of Angelina Jolie in a store window. She yelled out, "Look Mommy, that looks just like you!" All the people around started looking back and forth between me and the poster and I can just imagine what they were thinking! Oh well, at least my daughter sees the resemblance!

When my son was 3 he had a rubber snake and at home he was swinging it around and hitting people with it, which he got put in time-out for. Later we were at the grocery store and out of the blue he said to me, "Hey mommy, remember at home when I was swinging my snake and hitting you with it? I promise I won't swing my snake at you anymore, I'll just play with it by myself in my room." Yep, all the people around us had dirty minds because you should have seen their expressions!
post #68 of 112
In another one of these threads, I read the funniest story EVER about a little boy who loved popcorn but mispronounced it "cock porn" and was screaming for it in the grocery store.

My story ... Spencer is 28 months. His newest fascination is with smelling everything, and the response is always, "Mmmmm. Dat's yummy!" Last week, he came into the bathroom right after I had gotten out of the shower - no clothes on yet. He came running up and gave me a hug, which was a little awkward, since his head is right at crotch level. And then he sniffed.

"Mmmmm. Dat's yummy!"
post #69 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
Ringworm is actually a yeast rash, it has nothing to do with worms. Cute story though!
Ha! Thank you.
post #70 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by milkybean View Post
My husband, as a small child, once compared his naked father to a gorilla, and not because he was furry.
I apparently said, "Daddy looks like a rooster!" as he was getting out of the shower.

Sadly my DD is pre-verbal, but it will only be a matter of time before she embarassing me. She makes the best faces, I can only imagine what is going on in that brain of hers...
post #71 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyTorf View Post
Thankfully, this one came out at home....

DP says "douchebag" all the time- I guess it's his curse/put-down of choice. He mostly says it when he is driving.

The three of us were hanging at home, DP was looking at a Rolling Stone magazine and DS (2 1/2 at the time) was playing with trains on the floor.

DP (to me): Look at this douche! Can you believe what he is wearing?!?
DS: No daddy, doucheBAG!

Stunned silence.
Then I laughed so hard that I cried, which, of course, was an excellent reinforcer. It took about 3 weeks to erase that word from his vocabulary.

My stomach hurts from laughing.
post #72 of 112
I am cackling over here! These are hysterical!!

DD's most recent...

She got a new dress for her birthday. After she opened the present, she held it up against herself and said...

"Look at me mommy! I'm a fascist!!"

(I'm thinking she meant something along the lines of "fashion"...)
post #73 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysByMySide View Post
I am cackling over here! These are hysterical!!

DD's most recent...

She got a new dress for her birthday. After she opened the present, she held it up against herself and said...

"Look at me mommy! I'm a fascist!!"

(I'm thinking she meant something along the lines of "fashion"...)
oh goodgod that's hilaaaaaaaarious!
post #74 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by appalachia View Post
This one was thankfully at home, not in front of anyone. When my DS was very tiny, my DDs were really fascinated when I would change him or bathe him, b/c they hadn't seen any little boys unclothed before. So I was changing the baby's diaper, and my 5 yr old DD points to his testicles and says "Mama, is that his brain?" I about died.
What's that about? My 3-year-old nephew pointed to the cat's butt and said, "Ewww, that's brains! Gross!"
post #75 of 112
Quote:
Originally Posted by alicia622 View Post
Just this evening DS and I were at the mall and walked in through Dick's Sporting Goods. As we are walking through the store he innocently asks..."Mommy, do you like dicks?" I chuckled to myself and said, "yes,as a matter of fact I do" to which he replied quite loudly, "Mommy, do you like dicks a lot?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Epiphany View Post
I was shopping at a local grocery store with my 2 year old. She loves clocks, especially the big round face ones. Well this grocery store has a H U G E, wall mounted, round, clock behind teh checkout lanes. DD2 (who has trouble with the "L" sound) points at it as we are leaving and says "look at the cock mommy" "yes dear, I see the cLock" I point out as I am hurrying past it. So of course DD2 is not content with this and yells "i said look at the reawy big cock mommy, don't you like big cocks?" at the top of her lungs. And at least ten people in the checkouts near us are either outright laughing or trying hard not too and me saying loudly that it is a nice CLOCK only seems to make things worse. *sigh*
Quote:
Originally Posted by leerypolyp View Post
3yo DD's new trick that she invented at a family gathering: She came up behind her Daddy, stuck her head between his legs (kind of holding the backs of his knees, and leaning forward), and yelled...

"I'M YOUR PENIS! I'M YOUR PENIS!"

* * *

The other day we were looking for a parking spot while said DD threw a tantrum about...something. I got frustrated and said, "I guess we'll have to go around the f*cking block!" Apparently it made an impression, because as I was taking her to preschool yesterday, I said, "We're almost there, preschool is just down the block!"

"The f*cking block?" she asked. "Or the regular block?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysByMySide View Post
I am cackling over here! These are hysterical!!

DD's most recent...

She got a new dress for her birthday. After she opened the present, she held it up against herself and said...

"Look at me mommy! I'm a fascist!!"

(I'm thinking she meant something along the lines of "fashion"...)
:
post #76 of 112
We live in Sprint Car country, the sprint car capitol of the world actually.

A few weeks ago it was Nationals season, and like the TRUE race fan that my DH was he spent every possible moment at the track : Well one saturday I was having a Garage sale with a friend of mine and made DH take both kids with him to the track They are walking around and all the sudden DS says "Daddy, I have to go potty." and DH says "Okay, we're almost to the bathroom. Just hold on one second." And DS says "I can't!!" and proceeds to drop his britches, right in the middle of the main walk way, surrounded by 50+ people, including the security guards and pees...right there on the sidewalk. DH drug him behind some farm equipment they had out on display and left a trail of pee in DS's wake.

DH said the security guard had to SIT DOWN on the ground she was laughing so hard. Everyone around him just CRACKED UP. DH said he wanted to :
post #77 of 112
LOL - this is such a great thread!

This isn't nearly as funny as some of the posts I just read, but just this evening ds (27 months) and I were hanging out on our front lawn when our neighbors pulled in to the driveway(we share a driveway since we live in a townhouse right next to them). The mom gets out of the car, and ds goes: "Hi, gamma! (grandma)" This lady is only slightly older than me...I think she's 37. So I was like: "What...did you say?" and her and I both started laughing, and she said to him: "Honey, you are the ONLY person that can get away with that."

What's weird is that he doesn't call either of his grandma's "gamma". This was just totally out of the blue, and she doesn't look old at all!
post #78 of 112
Patrick went up to a total stranger yesterday at the playground and asked, well, demanded that they take him potty. When they did not comply with his demands he pulled his pants down right there!!! I do not understand why Paddy didn't just ask me to take him, I was standing right there behind him. I apologized profusely to the poor man that Paddy flashed and we promptly went to the restroom. Yeesh.
post #79 of 112
When DS1 was about 3, we were in the grocery store. He was in one of those hideous Kroger cars that look like a race car, happily believing he was steering. As we turn to go down the next aisle, a upper middle aged woman is standing back examining the salad dressing and my little guy yells, "Beep Beep! Get outta da way GRANDMA!"

DH sped off trying not to laugh while I stumble in his wake. "I'm sure he meant it as a compliment!"
post #80 of 112
Last week DH took DS grocery shopping while I ran some errands. DS had just watch Flushed Away, which has that Tom Jones song at the end of it (What's New Pussycat?"). Well, DS couldn't remember the words, so he was singing at the top of his lungs, "Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy whoa whoa!!" My DH just about died. He tried to sing the real song with him, but he just kept going. He said he got a lot of nasty looks.
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