I am so frustrated!

[JessicaTX]

I recently enrolled my previously homeschooled son in high school. I looked online for dress code rules and didn't find any except some legalese about how they were allowed to have different standards for hairstyles between boys and girls. Nobody said anything at registration about hairstyles or clothing, and there were several girls I saw, one with the black underdye and blond on top, one cheerleader with dark brown hair and pink tips, and one girl with dark brown hair with blond streaks at the front.

So he had to go this morning to get his picture for his ID that has to be worn the entire time he's on campus, and they refused to take his picture because his hair is two toned and cited unnatural colors. His hair is dyed black with a brownish blond natural hair streak at the front. Is that not insane? I thought the girls vs boys hairstyles thing was going to be about length. So now I have to redye his hair tonight and get up at odark thirty to take my dh to work so I can have the car to take him to get his picture for his ID tomorrow morning. And he doesn't want to argue about it with the school...well I do, if they can have a cheerleader with pink hair representing the school at games..why the hell can't my freshman have brown and black hair?

[skiingmamma]

Do you have a TV? I remember this commercial from years back that had a young man all punked-out, piercings and such, and the mom talking to her son as he's leaving the house about where he'll be and who with, etc. The point was that we should let our children express themselves, of course unless it hurts other people, in the ways they choose, especially appearnce (that seems to be such and identifier to teens). And that it doesn't mean that they, or we as parents, are not responsible, well mannered people.

I think it's silly, the double standard that exists at your son's school. Sorry you guys have to deal with it.

[KyleAnn]

First off-I LOVE his hair! It makes me mad to think you have to change it...

I would feel the same as you and want to raise h*ll about it, but honestly, if he feels differently, he is the one who needs to go there everyday and that might not be the best way for him to start out (you don't want him to be uncomfortable), kwim?
Not that it makes it right.

I'm sorry you guys have to deal with that-it all sounds like a giant load of poo to me.

[mistymama]

Awww, his hair looks great!

Total double standard, but I see his reasons for not wanting to fight it. I'm willing to bet it also has something to do with his "style" which is super cute and kinda punky, vs. that cheerleader who might have pink tips, but was probably more preppy looking in her outfit, kwim? Not fair at all.

[Ellien C]

I agree with you that the hair is fine, however, I also think it's his decision what battles he wants to fight and what rights he wants to claim. If he would rather not raise a ruckus over this and you are willing to re-dye his hair than that's probably the best thing for now.

PS. I understand your frustration and think it's totally justified. I would feel the same way. I don't blame you a bit for venting.

[lisac77]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

I agree with you that the hair is fine, however, I also think it's his decision what battles he wants to fight and what rights he wants to claim. If he would rather not raise a ruckus over this and you are willing to re-dye his hair than that's probably the best thing for now.

PS. I understand your frustration and think it's totally justified. I would feel the same way. I don't blame you a bit for venting.

I agree, what a PITA for you though! I think he's a very handsome young man, and his hair looks great!

[FondestBianca]

is this public school you're talking about? If so it's just nuts to me that they can have any say whaatsoever about hair styles or colors. Thats insane. Having rules about skirt length, chains, exposed bra cups, exposed underwear, I can understand but hair color!?!? weird, just weird. gender rule differences aside, having any hair rules is odd to me for public school. If it isn't PS then I could see having a set rule for both girls ad boys however. If someone told me I couldn't have more than one color in my hair at any one time I'd laugh... then punch them.

[meowee]

Oh he's so cute!

I would respect his desire not to fight it, but that's just me.

[kaihiola]

I am so frustrated!

Hello, this is mu first time here. I think your son is a very nice looking guy. His hair is cute. It is very unfortunate that institutions are slowly becoming more and more controlling. Relax His hair is a form of expression and as a youth he should be able to express himself, that is what being a teenager is all about. Institutions are set up to institutionalized people by any means necessary. Next thing you know folks aren't going to be able to walk down the street identifying freely. I think he should stay true to himself. You should do whatever your heart says. Support you and your sons choices.

[oursweetboys]

I would be very upset as well. Is there a rule against girls having highlighted hair? Highlighted hair is also two-toned, obviously. If there is no rule against it for girls, I would definitely want to at least point this out to the powers that be.(the rule in general is absurd but I'd choose your battle) I understand and respect your son not wanting to make a big issue out of it, but could you at least write the school a letter regarding your feelings on the matter? That's just ridiculous.
Oh, and BTW, he's a cutie!