Only 2-3 weeks maternity leave? - Page 3

[mamasthree]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

I'd really be helping them find a suitable temp whom you can train before you go out, and give them a FIRM plan for when you're willing to come back - hours and date.

I agree--my dh owns and runs a very small business and they want to be able to plan ahead of time. I also agree that 2-3 weeks is no where near enough time to bond, heal and be ready for work again. That anyone with children would even expect that is kind of crazy!

However, I disagree that the govt/employers should be made responsible for paying oodles of maternity leave.

[FraggleLover]

Originally Posted by mamasthree

However, I disagree that the govt/employers should be made responsible for paying oodles of maternity leave.

What do you call oodles of paid time?

6 weeks, 8 weeks, 6 months. I agree that holding a job for up to and over a year can be a disincentive for hiring women.

But population replacement doesn't occur in a vacuum. this is part of why so many European countries have unbelievable maternity packages. After a generation of forcing women to choose between a career and a family, there are shrinking native populations. Who then is responsible for taking care of the elderly.

Society needs to take child bearing and rearing seriously. Society chooses a government to formalise these arrangements.

[mclisa]

Any legal daycare can't accept a baby before 4 weeks. Most won't accept before 6 weeks.

With my first I was back to an internship/school work at less than 4 weeks. I completely regret that.

don't cheat yourself and your baby.



And if you might look into FMLA to see if you qualify for that.

[papschmitty]

I work 2 jobs. In my "real" job, I'm a nurse for our local health department. My leave is decent (18 wks) but unpaid. My other job is working for my dad. He's an optometrist and I do all the financial stuff for his office (payroll, taxes, retirement, paying bills, etc.) and when I'm gone, there's no one else to competently do the work. When I had DD, I took my full 18 wks from my nursing job but went back to my job at my dad's office after 1 wk. I took DD with me and wore her in a wrap. My sister works there full time and brought both of her kids with her until each of them were a year old. I can say that 99% of our patients LOVE seeing the babies there and many of them mentioned how great it was to be a part of such a family friendly office. Granted, it's hard to be as efficient as we were before the babies came but my sister and I are excellent at what we do (seriously, my dad's office would collapse without us - he's a great doctor but a lousy manager) so he understands that the trade-off is worth it. I'd try to talk to your boss and suggest bringing the baby with you. Try to sell it by explaining how it would benefit the office to keep you there. What a tough position to be in. Do keep us posted!

[acory23]

Ive thought of another mode of attack in the situation. I am (hopefully) going to be having a homebirth afterall... YAY!

Perhaps that will change their thoughts on the subject.

Although they said something on Friday that p!$$ed me off! We were discussing the schedule in February. The doctor and his wife usually take a vacation the second week in February because in MA we have this RIDDICULOUS thing called February vacation. Its a week where there is no school (in addition to spring break, which is a week off in April) for God knows what reason other than to be inconvenient. But anyway, they usually close the office and go away on vacation adn usually they go out of the country. I stay here and man (or woman, if you please) the fort.
Knowing that even though my EDD is 1/18, there is a good chance that it will be later in the month. Doing the math, this would be about 2 weeks from Feb. vaca. They have requested that regarless of when I have the baby, be it a month or a week, that I come into the office for a full 40 hour week. They said I could bring the baby if I wanted to. Heres my issue with that, I would have liked to have spent that Feb vacation week with all of my children (since the big kids have the week off school) so that my kids could have a nice solid week at home to bond with the baby and so we could all spend time together. Also that way I wouldnt have to pay for a week of full day daycare for the two of them.

I am talking in circles now... anyway, I feel backed into a corner. I am kind of afraid to stick up for myself because they have been pretty lenient up until now. They just gave me a whole week off to visit my family when my grandfather passed away, knowing full well that I would be taking maternity leave soon. They allow me to take time off when my kids have days off from school that are not covered by the schools child care program. I dont know what to do...

so we are working on a "back door plan" which would involve me finding a different job that I could do part time... but ONLY if this negotiation doesnt work out. i am hoping it will. I will put them in touch with my midwife if necessary.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by acory23

SHE... she is a woman... with children... who has given birth before... said "So do you know how long you are going to want off? 2 weeks? 3 weeks?" I said, "I dont know how long just yet. But I dont know that 2 or 3 weeks is sufficient." She seemed to be annoyed by my answer.

Sorry to crash your DDC, but maybe she was joking?! I hope....

[papschmitty]

If the close the office, why would you need to be there for a full 40 hours that week??? If they insist on that, could you flex your time? Maybe working longer hours but fewer days or start really early and leave early so have some time home with the kids? What about starting that full week on the weekend so you have some weekdays home with the kids?

How exciting that you might be able to HB after all!!! :

[acory23]

Originally Posted by papschmitty

If the close the office, why would you need to be there for a full 40 hours that week??? If they insist on that, could you flex your time? Maybe working longer hours but fewer days or start really early and leave early so have some time home with the kids? What about starting that full week on the weekend so you have some weekdays home with the kids?

How exciting that you might be able to HB after all!!! :

They "close" the office but still need someone here to answer phones and take care of prescription refill authorizations and they also have me use that time to catch up on things that usually get pushed to the side (like filing and patient record requests and stuff like that) but mark my words, with the degree of back pain, abdominal cramping, and vaginal tearing I had with my other kids, and considering that this one will most likely be much larger than my other two, I am SOOOO not going to be up to filing and organizing and inventory climbing up and down a step ladder. Then again, I could bring my kids with me and have them do it... they can alphabetize, we could spend time together, I will reward their helpful efforts with a special lunch or something.

I found it funny that they both said "you can bring the baby, since there will be no patients and not a lot of demand" Im thinking, OH GREAT! Im going to bring up the subject of slinging the baby and bringing her in for the first few weeks... I think I know how that conversation will play out. :

And YAY homebirth!! Of course, I will have to get the OK (make sure the babe and I are healthy enough) from my current MW and then find a HB MW. I have a great feelig about this though!

[FraggleLover]

Originally Posted by acory23

They have requested that regarless of when I have the baby, be it a month or a week, that I come into the office for a full 40 hour week. They said I could bring the baby if I wanted to.

You know they are being ridiculous right?

Update your CV

[Mom2Adam]

Acory -

I just wanted to say that I know you are worried and also fuming...but wow - what it must be like to be so needed and wanted...you are a key person in this company...and despite all the grousing about the US and the maternity benefits (or lack of) - if we were in the position of your bosses (small business) - then we would feel differently. Your absence will affect them and their business...it is up to you to assure them that you can help with the transition - you need to be firm about it...and have a plan...you can do it...you are the mother of two with one on the way so your planning and negotiating skills are well honed!

For the week of their vacation - be honest - tell them that not only the birthing, nursing relationship but adding a new person to your family is going to take some adjustment time (and that week at home with all the kids is important). Can the office phones be forwarded to your home so they have peace of mind that their patients are reaching somebody? or can their answering service (assuming they have one) - answer their calls and forward to you as necessary?

I am getting the vibe that they still don't understand how important this is to you...you need to sit down with them (when you are clear headed about this - that is why a plan will help!) and let them know so you can come up with something that works for everyone! and also so you can stop feeling this stress during a great period of your pregnancy....


Traci

[_betsy_]

I probably wouldn't have been able to hold back and would have said something about "But what about MY TIME with MY KIDS that week?"

Seriously, they are being ridiculous.

[acory23]

Originally Posted by Mom2Adam

Acory -
I just wanted to say that I know you are worried and also fuming...but wow - what it must be like to be so needed and wanted...you are a key person in this company

This is the only reason I havent just started looking for another job. I am willing to negotiate with them. I am willing to have calls forwarded, work from home, if I could work from home I would start as early as a week maybe even a few days after delivery. And I am going to pitch the idea. They can pay me PT and get a temp to sit at the desk and take up space. Someone to greet patients, do the invoicing and accept payments, answer the phone and if necessary, transfer it to me. Im willing to do the work. I just cant leave my home to do so. Not to mention, January is DANGEROUS in New England. (weather and traffic) I cant put myself in harms way like that. *sigh* I hate the feeling of being torn. I sometimes wish I didnt feel so needed. But like I said before, I love my job, I love working for the doctor, and I hope we can reach some sort of understanding.

[acory23]

UPDATE:

I GAVE MY TWO WEEKS YESTERDAY!!!! I am going to be a WAHM for a little while! DH and I have already worked the whole thing out. I am leaving this job and I am going to be the bookkeeper for his mothers lobbying firm which is a part time, work from home job... for now. (I have to work in office for the next couple of weeks to get them on track as their last bookkeeper left about a month or two ago so they are really behind. I am going to do the 40hr week thing until Thanksgiving and then I am going straight to being a WAHM. Then when I am ready to go back to work, I get a "full time" office position. (with flexible hours and I will only be in the office M-Th and working from home on Friday!)

Im super psyched! :

This means I will be able to get everything done and rest and be there for my kids without interruptions... And not get too stressed or overwhelmed. And I will be able to take time to prepare for the baby!

[Phoenix~Mama]

That is awesome! Glad it worked out for you!!

[ruthmg]

I'm glad this worked out for you!!!! I like to hope that things work out in the end, and it happened this time for you!!!

[maxwill129]

YAY!!! Good for you and that is SO AWESOME that your MIL was so willing to help you guys out!!! :

[MrsSoup]

Congratulations! That is so awesome!!

[_ktg_]

Woot!! I'm so glad this seems to have come to resolution for you.

[acory23]

Originally Posted by maxwill129

YAY!!! Good for you and that is SO AWESOME that your MIL was so willing to help you guys out!!! :

Shes tired of having bookkeepers either mess up her books or leave once she has trained them. Shes even had a few try to steal from her. I have been keeping her books up here and there, going in on weekends and stuff and she has actually been asking me to do this for her for a while. I dont know why I waited so long. The perks to this job are, apart from the schedule, HEALTH INSURANCE!! and job security

[kijip]

So glad something better worked out for you.

How did your old bosses take the news?