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Does everyone get annoyed with their midwife at some point lol?

post #1 of 27
8/21/08 at 7:38pm
Thread Starter 
I think it's my turn...

I 'think' my midwife will be capable during the labor/birth.. but she seems to be lacking in the support and help through pregnancy and issues that come along with said pregnancy. And if I had to choose again I might just keep on looking instead of choosing her after only talking to one other midwife then her.

She told me once that she 'deals with the normal in pregnancy' ... and though she had originally said she did not feel I was too high risk to be with her.. it does sort of appear that she doesn't understand much if anything beyond the normal.

I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), which includes hypoglycemia, and a related depression/anxiety issue that I am on meds for (all of those issues have related prescriptions). I also am lactose intolerant, and have irritable bowel syndrome. I had a diagnosis of 'irritable uterus' in previous pregnancies the first time around landing me on 9.5 weeks of bedrest and in and out of the hospital (I delivered at exactly 37w). The 2nd pregnancy we just did progesterone shots in the hip from 17w-36w but had no bedrest that time (delivered at 39.5 weeks).

I'm even considered 'a-typical' for PCOS in that I'm thin (most are overweight), and not excessively hairy. and low blood sugar instead of high (diabetes). When I'm not pregnant I tend to have short frequent cycles with no ovulation (instead of months or yrs without a cycle). But I follow in line with having too high testosterone, too high insulin levels, and very low female hormones.. that is typical for me and is also signs of PCOS.

Soooooo this is a lot of background info to basically say I'm not 'normal' .. never have been lol.

I've been having some health issues that are either blown off by my midwife as normal, or like today she informed me she thinks I'm having panic attacks and that I need to turn to Christ and seek a christian counselor (she even recommended one).

SIGH yes I do have depression/anxiety problems.. but NO it isn't a spiritual issue.. it is due to chemical/hormonal inbalances.....!

Sorry girls I don't know if this is just a rant, or a need to pour out my frustrations.. or if I'm even asking any questions here.....

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post #2 of 27
8/21/08 at 8:40pm
You might have issues resulting from your PCOS, but that is NOT a very professional way to address them. Maybe you should cosndier re-interviewing more midwives.
post #3 of 27
8/21/08 at 8:55pm
She's a B insert itch for throwing her values on you as a way to treat your problems. Jesus would be pissed. Anywho.....

I hope her attitude doesn't put a damper on your pregnancy and that you have the lovely birth you've planned.
post #4 of 27
8/21/08 at 10:15pm
Everyone's allowed to get annoyed with their HCP, but I would be royally pissed if my mw or doctor or whomever tried to tell me that all I needed was to pray, or seek christ or whatever. How unprofessional! Ugh. What about seeing someone else for your health issues that aren't pregnancy related? I mean, I wouldn't go to my mw now for mental health issues myself just b/c I'm pregnant. I would still see a specialist. Don't know if that helps, but maybe she really just does not know how to help you?
post #5 of 27
8/21/08 at 10:29pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks girls ...... I'm also a follower of Christ .. but I um apparently don't believe like she does about depression issues.

I'm kind of concerned though because I had a long list of weird symptoms, and her auto reply came back seeming so off the wall to me and my DH. I think 'some' of what is going on is my being over-tired and stressed this week, but I also worry I could have a infection or something weird going on......

What do you girls think of this odd-array of symptoms that I sent to my midwife today??

Quote:
I've been having an assortment of odd symptoms/things going on here lately that got a lot worse this morning.

And I'm starting to wondering if I'm sick or something is not functioning properly at least. Maybe a infection or blood pressure issue?

Here's my symptoms, in random order.. because well they happen randomly:


I'm having episodes of feeling like my chest/throat are closing so that I can't breathe. Usually within 30sec to a couple of minutes that calms back down or at least lessens to a level that I can manage.


Dizzy/lightheaded problems even when sitting.


nausea sometimes joins the above throng.


easily over heated, pulse racing at times.


And often if I take a moment to check my temperature during the above symptoms it will be 99.0-99.2F ??


My blood sugar seems to be fine if tested during these times, like this morning it was 94 and I had been eating well too.


I'm also getting very overwhelmed, overtired, crying etc Which I know the latter could 'just' be part of pregnancy but it shouldn't be to the point of making me dysfunctional should it?
Let me quote her exact reply (minus her signature/name)
Quote:
It sounds like a panic attack. Take your thoughts captive unto Christ, Rae. You may want to consider counseling. I can recommend a very good Christian counselor center, Christian Psychological Services, 913-345-0033. Or, the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, www.nanc.org, has an entire list of certified Christian counselors.
post #6 of 27
8/21/08 at 11:08pm
i would be super offended if my MW said that to me. I'm Jewish though so that may taint my response!!! lol!

as far as your symptoms, i feel many of them w/ you so i think many of them are normal but i do think you need to be listened to.

maybe post in teh "birth profesionals" forum here and see what some of those MW's say.
post #7 of 27
8/22/08 at 12:04am
If you both understand where each other is in your faith and she knows you to have a common ground then what the mw is saying isn't out of line or unprofessional, IMO. MW's usually give more personal care and that is one of the things that we like about them.

I think praying is a good option but I also think that the Lord puts medical professionals in our paths to help us with very real health issues. I'm sorry that you are having these problems and I hope they can become resolved in due time.
post #8 of 27
8/22/08 at 10:43am
Thread Starter 
Although I agree since we both sort of know we are believers, it might not be out of line to say what she did. But the way it was just thrown out.. and with no real explanation kind of seemed like blowing me off and not seeing if there are/were any real health issues going on.

Thankfully I have a very supportive doula who I also sent the same info to, and she came back with some good questions about my health for me to check into to be sure everything is okay.
post #9 of 27
8/22/08 at 10:44am
Is your midwife aware of your spiritual beliefs?? Is it something you have talked about in the past with her? If so then I don't think she was out of line...sounds like she is being caring and concered and pointing you in a direction she believes will help you based on your spiritual beliefs.

Now if this is something you haven't discussed with her, if your spiritual beliefs are private and have not been part of your care, ie not talked about...then she is WAAAAYYYY over stepping her bounds. If a medical professional ever mentioned christ or god or whatever other religious thing to me they would be so fired..but that is because my belief's are private and not shared and therefore not a part of my medical care.

As for your symptoms I don't think your midwife was off base...my mom suffers panic attacks and it sounds very similar to what you are going through....maybe talking to someone isn't a bad idea....weather they be christian based or not. Depression in the 3rd trimester can happen and if not taken care of before baby is born can cause moderate to severe ppd after baby is born.
post #10 of 27
8/22/08 at 11:07am
Those symptoms sound VERY FAMMILIAR to what I deal with almost daily during preganacy (and often when on birth conrtol) my midwife was the firt person to diagnose it as Low Blood Preassure. Which I have always known I had, but never connected to those symptoms. She explained to me that we become more aware of our low blood preassure symptoms when we are pregnant ebcause of the added blood volume, it doubles when pregnant. That kind of makes sense to me, body is over taxed making baby, and mama's joints are low on the body's list of priorities. Eating good quality sea salt in my food to taste (not over salting) and taking a mineral supplment has helped greatly. But it still happens, the hot weather doesn't help. Maybe that has somethign to do with your symptoms?
post #11 of 27
8/22/08 at 11:30am
Thread Starter 
Bailey ..... thanks I'll have to check into that I have actually known myself to be on the bottom end of blood pressure tests for yrs.. especially when pregnant. So I wonder if that could have something to do with it......

You use sea salt.. and what kind of minerals??
post #12 of 27
8/22/08 at 11:55am
I had to throw in - we have some mild virus going around here - it left me exausted, breathless, lightheaded, sometimes nauseaus, aching joints and muscles, I could choose to eat, or drink, or breath, but no way could I do 2 or 3 at a time.. and I almost paniced that I could NOT live for 6 more weeks like this - then it went away! I talked with dh and he said I was describing what he had the previous week when he told me he "wasn't feeling good" but had not wished to elaborate.
post #13 of 27
8/22/08 at 4:40pm
you could always go to an Urgent Care Clinic if you think your midwife is missing the point.

And, it's never too late to switch midwives if you're not comfortable.
post #14 of 27
8/22/08 at 6:18pm
Thread Starter 
Well that's good to hear that it's never to late to switch.

Because she just called me.. and by the end of the phone call she was basically telling me that she didn't think she was the midwife for me.

She's dropping me....
post #15 of 27
8/22/08 at 6:26pm
Quote:
Because she just called me.. and by the end of the phone call she was basically telling me that she didn't think she was the midwife for me.

She's dropping me....
Oh man I am so sorry, I do hope that in the end though this turns out to be a positive thing for you and you are able to find a midwife you love and trust and who trusts in you!!! hugs mama!!
post #16 of 27
8/22/08 at 6:53pm
Wow. I don't know what to say. It sucks but at the same time, I'd have t bet that it's a good thing in the long run. I wouldn't want a MW at my birth that I didn't feel supported by.
post #17 of 27
8/22/08 at 8:13pm
Well..goodness. I guess it's a good thing though, in a way.
post #18 of 27
8/22/08 at 8:32pm
what? dropping you because your case is not textbook simple and you want actual medical care instead of prayers for your strange set of symptoms?

You'll be much better off with someone else - I'm just sorry you had no chance to dump her.
post #19 of 27
8/22/08 at 8:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonshine_rae View Post
Bailey ..... thanks I'll have to check into that I have actually known myself to be on the bottom end of blood pressure tests for yrs.. especially when pregnant. So I wonder if that could have something to do with it......

You use sea salt.. and what kind of minerals??
Cal Mag Zinc D, plus nettles in the pregnancy tea nettles are loaded with iron whoch is much mroe easily abosrbed than a supplement. I forget but there are tons of other minerals in the herbs used in pregnancy tea blends. Good sea salt, like Himalayan, Hawaiian, or Celtic. As unprocessed and unrefined as possible, that way they still have the mineral content from teh soil they came from intact. Eating tons of dark leafy greens helps too, I try for one serving a day, even if it;s just spinach in my scrambled eggs.

Though it still happens, all the time, this is no cure, but it helps. I used to be clinging to the couch dizy and weak every morning for a couple of three hours and the same last pregnancy during the last trimester. Since I have had more awreness of the cause I have been able to keep it down to a dull roar, some days are bad, but most days I can muddle my through the lowest point of my day around 9AM by letting my DD watch Curious George while I nap.
post #20 of 27
8/22/08 at 9:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by KailuaMamatoMaya View Post
what? dropping you because your case is not textbook simple and you want actual medical care instead of prayers for your strange set of symptoms?

You'll be much better off with someone else - I'm just sorry you had no chance to dump her.
What she said! That sucks!!
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Archives › Pregnancy Archives › October 2008 › Does everyone get annoyed with their midwife at some point lol?