My dc are younger than yours, and we can hardly say we unschool, because it isn't something we 'do' at all. I don't think anything will change from the way things are now as regards our education. That is, we all learn and we all support one another in learning and living. It really isn't any different from newborn to adult; we're all just living, and learning isn't distinct from living.
We have four children who are close in age and it is challenging. I am currently not capable of total RU because I haven't figured out how to do it with so many people. I think it's possible, but like my dc, I am on a journey and striving daily to understand and act more according to my faith and beliefs, and my ever-forming, ever-refining philosophy of life.
An example of what I mean is bedtime. Our dc are in bed by 9:30pm. They fall asleep by 10pm usually, and they do so peacefully. There is never any objection to bedtime from them. When we were sending them to bed a 8pm, there was 2 hours of protesting and loud playing in their room which was very trying at that time of day. Our dc don't nap, and they only sleep 10 hours, and have from the womb. So, now, since I've learned, I don't force them to bed, but you can see that I do choose their bedtime; they happen to agree, but honestly, I am choosing it, and if they protested, I would either require them to at least be in their bed with the light off, and/or I would go to bed-- at this point. It may be that by the time they would want to choose their bedtime, I will have gained more understanding and wisdom about how to negotiate it with them. I don't know. I'm just as much a work in progress as they are, and I try to remember that, and I am very open about that with them.
There are times when I've said to them that I am not able to negotiate such and such simply because I am very tired; it would help me enormously if they would just do as I asked and not require an explanation until I have had more sleep. When I have been honest with them this way, they have always been willing to just go with what I want. They do want to be helpful too, and are very merciful toward me when I am not in good form. I am merciful with them too. Some parents have been aghast at my 'lenience' in some situations, but I don't see the point in having my way or forcing a child into something when he's too tired/hungry/upset to negotiate anyway. If I can just give him what he needs, then I do, even if it requires self-sacrifice, and I have seen that in doing so, my dc are equally willing to do the same for me and for one another as well.
Anyway, I am not RU, but my ideal is that we will all grow together into a consensual way of living and being together. This will take time, and my dc would probably be better able to do so now if I were, but as I wrote, I am just working through it as well, so their understanding is going to be somewhat hampered by my own and that I haven't been able to live that way entirely while they are living out their days now.
Btw, having four children is a blessing and until recently in history, your family would have blended in, not stuck out. We don't 'know better' now, and no amount of technology or money or political agenda can replace the love of a family full of people who are all paying attention to one another, all loving one another, all supporting one another, you get the idea. YOU don't have to pay as much attention to each one as you might if you had only one. One child with one mama has one person paying attention to him/her. One child with one mama, one daddy, and three siblings has 5 people paying him/her attention and receives constant feedback because while you are making supper or reading a book, there are four other people around/available to talk to, play with, sit next to, etc.... People who say such things as you wrote don't have the experience to qualify their comments. If they were one of a large family in which they were neglected, that still doesn't reflect on yours. You are not neglecting your children so their experience has no bearing on yours or your children's. Honestly, that sort of ignorance is my bane
: and I hear it all the time, as you may have guessed.
Rejoice in your family, mama!!!
ETA: I just wanted to be clear that a family of one mama and one child is also beautiful and can function with love and support and be a well-spring of joy and success in life too! There is just so much more understanding for and support of families with few children that I wrote it as a given- something we all accept while so-called large families do not have the same acceptance in spite of being also capable of enormous love and joy, not from mainstream culture anyway.