My children are all very strong personalities, so we would have a terrible time trying to control them against their will. For me practicing RU and consensual living is self-preservation.
Seriously, I can't even imagine the stress of trying to institute a set bedtime. As it is, our bedtimes are very peaceful, and we all go to bed at pretty much the same time. But we do go to bed with them. (I need less sleep than they do, so I get my quiet time in the morning.) There's nothing for them to react to or rebel against, and nothing they feel they're missing out on. In fact, they'd be missing out by not going to bed with us. They want their snuggles, they want the focused attention, they want their bedtime stories and songs. It makes them feel secure and happy to participate in this routine, so they want
to participate. It wouldn't work that way if they had the perception that they were being forced into it against their will. For it to work it's necessary to reframe the entire situation.
By the way, I have four children too, and at one point they were all 7 and under. I certainly can give them all the attention they need, but it does mean that that's my life. I am here for them
right now. From experience I know that harmony in our lives is completely dependent on that. So, I try to make that choice as much as I can. Not everyone wants
to make that choice, and for them, obviously, having a large family would be a mistake.
Although, as someone else said, it's not like I'm having to give 100% of my attention to each child 100% of the time, because they have each other
to give to. In a 3-person family there are three unique relationships. In a family twice that size there are five times as many unique relationships.
ETA: Has anyone alerted a moderator to find out where those views are coming from?