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Naturally occurring or Fertility treatments - Page 2

Poll Results: Were your multiples naturally occurring or did you use fertility treatments?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 73% (65)
    Naturally occurring
  • 26% (24)
    Fertility treatments
89 Total Votes  
post #21 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
In NO WAY was I trying to be nosy or rude.
I don't think it was rude to ask on a forum.

I do think people asking strangers or acquaintances just for curiosity sake is rude. I remember wanting to ask a lady with twins that I had met a 4th of July party this year if she had them via fertility meds, as we had just found out we were pregnant and transfered two blasts. But I didn't cause I felt like it would be rude. I'm so glad now that I didn't ask.
post #22 of 55
naturally occurring fraternals, and they run in my family, so it wasn't really a surprise.
post #23 of 55
Spontanious twins here
post #24 of 55
I'm pregnant with IVF fraternal g/g twins after 4 miscarriages and 5 embryo transfer, including one set of identical twins from a single embryo transfer last summer.

I like to think of all babies as "natural", and choose to avoid the value-laden language. It's not like my babies are zombies or Frankenstein!

I too am tired of the "do twins run in your family" question...if only i had a dollar for each time I'm asked. I too tend to think it's the inquiring mind wanting to know if they're from ART. I've started saying "They do now!" and leave it at that.

I just feel so lucky to be 24 weeks with these little creatures, and I can't wait to meet them in person.

:
post #25 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by franciemack View Post
I too am tired of the "do twins run in your family" question...if only i had a dollar for each time I'm asked. I too tend to think it's the inquiring mind wanting to know if they're from ART. I've started saying "They do now!" and leave it at that.
I love that! I'm going to use that. "They do now".
post #26 of 55
I don't find it a rude question, just a very personal one.

If the question gets phrased to me like, "Did you use fertility treatment?" I usually respond by saying, "I was single and 22yo when I got pregnant with my twins," and let them figure out the answer. Mine are MZ.
post #27 of 55
Also, I wanted to add, I find the phrase "naturally occurring" to be offensive toward moms who used fertility. End the mommy wars!

If you really consider it, is there anything "natural" about an embryo splitting, or about a woman producing multiple eggs in the same cycle?
post #28 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
Also, I wanted to add, I find the phrase "naturally occurring" to be offensive toward moms who used fertility. End the mommy wars!

If you really consider it, is there anything "natural" about an embryo splitting, or about a woman producing multiple eggs in the same cycle?
Uh-oh! (I find myself disagreeing with DoomaYula on this one!) Yes, an embryo splitting without human intervention or a woman producing multiple eggs in the same cycle is "natural". It may be uncommon, but it most certainly is natural.

It's not the word "natural" that's offensive - it's the attitude some folks adopt when making comparisons between assisted fertility or spontaneous multiple births. To drop the terminology in an effort to avoid offending people would be a shame. A "throwing out the baby with the bathwater" if you will.

I can see why some people consider it a very personal question and why others don't think it's particularly personal or anything more than a biological curiosity.

There's no shame in treating infertility with assisted reproduction techniques, whatever they may be. IVF MOMs take heart: The desire to to birth your own children is extremely "natural". (That's the part that counts).
post #29 of 55
My fraternal twins weren't the result of fertility treatments. And, I have no history of fraternals either.
post #30 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
Also, I wanted to add, I find the phrase "naturally occurring" to be offensive toward moms who used fertility. End the mommy wars!


In the political corners of the childbirth community natural = superior. It's a pretty loaded word. It implies there's something unnatural about my babies - whose poop's will smell just the same as "natural" twin poop's.

I think it's best to use the scientific terms - as they tend to carry less judgment, naturally.
post #31 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
Also, I wanted to add, I find the phrase "naturally occurring" to be offensive toward moms who used fertility. End the mommy wars!

If you really consider it, is there anything "natural" about an embryo splitting, or about a woman producing multiple eggs in the same cycle?
Sure, it's natural. Just highly unusual!

I'd have to say that I think "naturally occurring" isn't offensive, just descriptive. It's saying there was no artifice involved. And, honestly? Thank God for artifice! If it weren't for human ingenuity, my life would not be nearly so good! (For one thing, my babies probably wouldn't be alive.)

So, while there might be an ethical/theological discussion to be had about fertility treatments (not in this forum, obviously!), I don't think the phrase "naturally occurring" is taking one side or the other in that debate. It's just describing the method of conception.
post #32 of 55
We needed fertility treatments, and we are so blessed! My triplets were conceived with the help of Clomid, Repronex, donor sperm, IUI and good fortune. I have never for one second felt like a fraud, and there is nothing more natural than my babies.

It depends on who asks whether I give an answer to the question about fertility drugs. Sometimes I say "Why do you ask?" because I have found some people ask because they are also going through fertility treatments. I have a quick knee-jerk reaction to the word "natural" - my babies were made just like all others, from the union of egg and sperm. Does it really matter how they met?
post #33 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by venustx View Post
We needed fertility treatments, and we are so blessed! My triplets were conceived with the help of Clomid, Repronex, donor sperm, IUI and good fortune. I have never for one second felt like a fraud, and there is nothing more natural than my babies.
OT but worth noticing -- Venustx -- you have babies! Congratulations! I didn't see a post or announcement (though it's completely possible I just missed it). How is everyone doing? Welcome to the world little ones!
post #34 of 55
A naturally occurring shock! I was the mom who always thought better them than me when I saw twins. Not anymore! What a blessing regardless of how they come to be.
post #35 of 55
naturally occuring identical twins here.
post #36 of 55
well, if you don't count the lab-created DNA, robotically-monitored uterine incubator, and nutrients from specially-raised goats...OH WAIT A MINUTE! None of those unnatural things happened! I was pregnant and gave birth to two babies. Hey -- they ARE natural!

Yes, sometimes I find myself reverting to sarcasm. Why? Because when friends, colleagues and even strangers ask if twins run in the family, I explain that both my grandmother and my husband's grandmother were twins. Invariably, the questioner beams.

When I add that my babies are IVF babies, the smiles evaporate.

We all know what I'm talking about here. The last thing I need, as a new mom, is judgment. Regardless of how Maggie & Sam came into this world, I'm struggling with the same set of challenges and reaping the same joy.

(p.s. blessings to you, shukr!)
post #37 of 55
Mine were IVF as well.
After TTC for 3 years we were thrilled beyond belief to be having 2!
post #38 of 55
I got asked today by the lady cutting my son's hair! In the course of a conversation we mentioned we were pregnant and she said "Do you know what you are having?" and I said, "not yet, we just know we are having twins". To which she replies, "Oh are they natural or did you have to do in vitro or something". I was floored! I couldn't really answer and since she was cutting my kid's hair I didn't want to be snarky.

So I stumbled out, "it took some work". Such a stupid reply on my part. Ugh!
post #39 of 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiannaK View Post
I like to say I married my fertility drug! My boys were a total surprise!
Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #40 of 55
mine are thanks to injectable meds... no ivf, just needed some help making ovulation happen. if left to my own devices i'll ovulate and get a period like once a year thanks to pcos, and one shot a year just doesn't really cut it when you're itching to get a family started!

it took us 5yrs of trying off and on (with big breaks in between for sanity purposes). a long time coming, and i'll be happy to have my little fam all done in one shot...

i had someone ask for the first time the other day if twins run in my family... i just said no, because i didn't see the need to get into it. she pressed - "it's from the mother's side - maybe there are twins there that you don't know about!" i just said maybe...

if someone directly asked me if they're from fertility treatments, i wouldn't have a problem discussing it. like someone else said, maybe they're going through the same thing? and if they're just asking to judge, then who cares? other people's opinions don't really concern me
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