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"Give me a cut over a tear any day!" - Page 3

post #41 of 54
8/26/08 at 11:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rylins mama View Post
I dont know but I was scared to death of being cut and my dr. (a fill in) did it without even telling me. My husband watched and said he went from one hole all the way to the other (tmi I know). And mann could I feel it. It took him about 30 minutes to stitch me up and I could see just how far he cut me. There was NO way I needed that. I had been pushing for 10 minutes ON MY BACK when he decided to do this... no decline in heart rate or anything. The next push, her whole body came out cause I was so cut up. UGH makes me mad!
OMG I'm sorry!!!

IA that it is advertising. I hear that women who've had episiotomies have more issues with sensations down below.

I definitely agree that lithotomy position and forcing mom to push are detrimental and can cause or worsen tearing. Ouch!!!

ETA: I was going to ask if the average ob was doing perineal massages or some other technique to prevent tearing, but I think I already know the answer.
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post #42 of 54
8/26/08 at 11:43pm
This thread makes me wonder...

My Dr. cut me as well.

I was induced due to pre-e. Those pit contractions ramped everything up soo fast. My labor progressed super fast once things got going, after I hit 5 cm it took less than 30 minutes to get to ten. I then pushed for twenty minutes. DS came out so fast that DH said it looked like he was shot out of a cannon. Afterwards it took 15 stitches to sew me back up.

What would have happened in this case if I had flat out refused the episiotomy? Would I have torn badly due to giving birth so fast, or would I have ended up with "skid marks" or a small tear?
post #43 of 54
8/27/08 at 1:00am
I had a friend, a nurse, with a very medicalized opinion of birth, wanting an episiotomy cause in her medically trained mind (also an ER nurse) found it was easier to stitch a straight line than a jagged tear.... so her ER stitching came to L & D. Thankfully I was able to educate her out of it, she ended up not needing one anyway!
post #44 of 54
8/27/08 at 5:30pm
I just wanted to say, I've also had both, and the 2nd-degree tear was WAY better than being cut! It healed so much faster (no stitches)!

Can I also say, after being cut (1st baby), it was months before I said okay to *doing the deed* and even then it was SO painful. (Even a year after the birth it was painful!) After having a tear, I only wanted to wait 5 weeks before being ready to dtd, and there was no pain.
post #45 of 54
8/27/08 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybunch2k8 View Post

ETA: I was going to ask if the average ob was doing perineal massages or some other technique to prevent tearing, but I think I already know the answer.
My OB is 'smarter than the average bear' -- he doesn't do epis (or rarely does them). And is absolutely on-board with NCB, extended breastfeeding, doesn't like to induce ("It's best for babies to cook 'til they're ready") ... I read the horror stories here about OBs and MWs who are really medical-minded, interventionist and patronizing and feel so glad I have my OB.

He does do perineal massage during the deliveries, as needed. I had a small tear with my first birth (no stitches) and 'skid marks' with my second - despite very quick labors with both.

I fear that my OB is not the norm.
post #46 of 54
8/27/08 at 8:12pm
*shudder* I can't imagine preferring a cut over a tear. Yes, tearing is not fun, but the very idea of someone chopping into my genitals with scissors is terrifying to me! I had a small tear with DS2's birth and it didn't need stitches, it was able to heal on its own. I definitely couldn't have said the same for an epi! In fact, it was one of my deciding factors in staying out of the hospital!
post #47 of 54
8/27/08 at 10:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybunch2k8 View Post
ETA: I was going to ask if the average ob was doing perineal massages or some other technique to prevent tearing, but I think I already know the answer.
I had to reply to this, even though I can barely make it through this thread. The OB I had thought perineal massage was jamming his fingers in me and prying my vagina open as fast as he could without warning. And the cut me while i was screaming no. Yeah, anyone who says they would rather be cut... well, if it happens to them, they may eat their words. I watched in the mirror. Took a long time to heal. And I'm freaking that baby #2 is going to split the scar open Thankfully, new OB (single practitioner!!!) does not do epis! : So, in the event of a non-UC birth, I feel like my body will be respected.
post #48 of 54
8/28/08 at 6:59pm
Haven't read all the replies but adding my two cents

My OB said that only a sadist would recommend tearing over an episiotomy.
"Tears NEVER heal properly"
He went on to say how he weekly has to repair women with 4th degree, prolapse issues etc.
He did not answer when I asked if these women had had episiotomies or not.
He did not answer when I asked how regularly he found them to be necessary.

I told him my research showed differently but stopped short of telling him the WHO recommendations because I could see that his mind was more or less made up. Next visit I'm going with the documents in hand, important passages highlighted.

I know that injuries can and do occur when giving birth but give me the facts rationally, don't try to scare me into seeing things your way.

I have also made an appointment with the local midwife.
post #49 of 54
8/30/08 at 6:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beppie View Post
I just wanted to say, I've also had both, and the 2nd-degree tear was WAY better than being cut! It healed so much faster (no stitches)!

Can I also say, after being cut (1st baby), it was months before I said okay to *doing the deed* and even then it was SO painful. (Even a year after the birth it was painful!) After having a tear, I only wanted to wait 5 weeks before being ready to dtd, and there was no pain.


Thixle and Elanorh, I'm glad y'all found some good OBs!
post #50 of 54
9/1/08 at 6:08pm
I was very upset about my episiotomy. It was given to me without my consent and I had even done research and knew that an episiotomy should be avoided.

I figured the doctor would at least have to ask first because I thought everything required informed consent.

Boy was I ignorant.

I ended up taking almost a year to fully heal from my episiotomy. And I am smaller down there than I was before because of how she sewed me up.

There were many other things that I would have changed if I could go back but because of all the misinformation out there, I fell into the traps (epidural and pitocin for example.) All I know is that I am much happier UPing and UCing because I don't need to "rely" on some biased, money hungry doctor for information.
post #51 of 54
9/1/08 at 6:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beppie View Post
Can I also say, after being cut (1st baby), it was months before I said okay to *doing the deed* and even then it was SO painful. (Even a year after the birth it was painful!)
I had the exact same experience.
post #52 of 54
9/2/08 at 2:41am
I never thought that an episiotomy sounded like a good idea. From the time I first heard about one (sometime in my early teens) it was my greatest fear about childbirth. When it came to having my baby, deep down I knew I wanted a homebirth, but I just didn't have it in me at the time to fight for it. I was given an episiotomy without even being asked. I had hardly been pushing for more than 10 or 15 min. The baby wasn't THAT big though, the doctor kept acting like 8lbs was more than a woman could handle.

I regret many parts of my birth, but the episiotomy tops it all. The pain from it was excruciating. I could barely sit up, which made nursing very difficult. Within the first week some of the stitches ripped out leaving a gaping hole. I was horrified. I felt violated from being cut. I was so ashamed it was nearly a year before I was ready to look to see if it had healed, and I was terrified of having sex again or even letting my husband near this part of me that had been in my mind disfigured. At my 2 week postpartum appointment the doctor used silver nitrate to cauterize the opening. It helped a little but 2 weeks later it had to be done again. The pain from the cauterization was horrific, almost as bad as when I first came home from the hospital. It hurt to walk or sit or exist. At 8 weeks postpartum it still hadn't healed and I started to think it never would. I swear that little cut has caused me so much physical pain and so much mental anguish. I would have preferred to tear, I think even if the outcome had been the same because at least then my body would have been allowed to do what it needed to do, rather than having somebody else impose their will on my body. Does that make sense? Really I think the shame and feelings of violation that came with being cut were the worst part of the whole experience. I am also worried now that the scar tissue there will make it harder for my body to stretch and more likely to tear the next time I give birth.
post #53 of 54
9/2/08 at 7:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by FraggleLover View Post
Haven't read all the replies but adding my two cents

My OB said that only a sadist would recommend tearing over an episiotomy.
"Tears NEVER heal properly"
He went on to say how he weekly has to repair women with 4th degree, prolapse issues etc.
He did not answer when I asked if these women had had episiotomies or not.
He did not answer when I asked how regularly he found them to be necessary.
Don't think I'd go back to him...

I also wonder how many of these women are on their backs giving birth - no room for the baby to come out and of course they are going to tear. My MIL had a 4th degree with dh... she was flat on her back with a breech!

No cuts here, thankfully! I tore enough with 3rd child to need a couple of stitches but it healed just fine and I had no complications from it with the fourth birth and she was nearly 10 lbs.
post #54 of 54
9/2/08 at 8:20am
when i got pregnant, my MIL (who was shocked i gave birth naturally, but whatever, lol) was telling me about her niece's deliveries, and how the doctor used mineral oil to keep her from tearing, and she didnt understand why they just didnt do an episiotomy because its "just easier and only takes about a week to heal"

she seriously thought it was better to have an epis than to NOT TEAR AT ALL! :
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