Why can I not get over this!?

[Huckablogger]

Ds will be 2 this week. I started taking Lexapro for ppd and sever anxiety when he was about 9 months old. I was having horrible panic attacks and could not stop thinking about "worst case scenarios" For example? What if I go totally crazy like Andrea Yates did? I love my son so much, but don't you think she loved her kids? That sounds horrible and obviously I have never done anything to hurt my son, but I could not get those kind of thoughts out of my head. It was better for a full year with the meds, and so I have been slowly but surely weaning off of them....and tonight I had a panic attack. Is this still PPD? Did I just have a bad day? I am now a SAHM, so do not have health insurance...Please just tell me that I will not be like this forever,

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by Huckablogger

Ds will be 2 this week. I started taking Lexapro for ppd and sever anxiety when he was about 9 months old. I was having horrible panic attacks and could not stop thinking about "worst case scenarios" For example? What if I go totally crazy like Andrea Yates did? I love my son so much, but don't you think she loved her kids? That sounds horrible and obviously I have never done anything to hurt my son, but I could not get those kind of thoughts out of my head. It was better for a full year with the meds, and so I have been slowly but surely weaning off of them....and tonight I had a panic attack. Is this still PPD? Did I just have a bad day? I am now a SAHM, so do not have health insurance...Please just tell me that I will not be like this forever,

you will NOT feel like this forever, i promise you!

if you're having a really hard time weaning off, maybe you could just keep taking the meds. or maybe someone here will have better advice.

hang in there. see a therapist if you can--someone free through a local women's center, a public health clinic, or something.

[mom0810]

Stay on the meds! Do not wean off until you have been advised to by a therapist or your doctor, and do it verrrrrry sloooowwwwwlllllyyyy.

When you are weaning, you will get symptoms like panic attacks and insomnia, headaches and dizziness, and others. Especially if you do it really quickly.

I would only go off on the advice of a professional, and only very slowly.

Do NOT take any other supplements while weaning off, except maybe fish oil.

[goodygumdrops]

Hugs mama. I know how hard it is to wonder if things are going to ever be normal again. I have only been on meds for about a month now and I am just starting to feel better. Then I'll have a bad day and thing I'm loosing it. I have asked both my therapist and psychiatrist and they both say I am not going crazy just having major postpartum anxiety. It is so hard to feel that you have no control over your emotions and thoughts. I have read that it can take longer than a year on meds for some. I have been exercising a lot and going yoga everyday, too. Maybe that would help your healing also?

Prayers for you, huckablogger

[uptowngirl]

Hugs, mama!! My unpopular opinion would be to stop breastfeeding. I know, I know.....but that's my opinion. It WILL get better.

[lisasaurus]

Originally Posted by uptowngirl

Hugs, mama!! My unpopular opinion would be to stop breastfeeding. I know, I know.....but that's my opinion. It WILL get better.

woah... what does breastfeeding have to do with the OP? I just don't see the correlation...

you most definitely will NOT "be like this forever." Have you been receiving any type of talk therapy along with your medication therapy? That may help you get to any underlaying triggers for your anxiety and help you manage it. Not having health insurance makes it pretty tricky, but i think most cities would have some resources for free or sliding scale counseling.

I also agree that decreasing your meds too quickly could be contributing to your panic attack.

You will feel better. Hope you find some relief asap! Hang in there, mama!

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by uptowngirl

Hugs, mama!! My unpopular opinion would be to stop breastfeeding. I know, I know.....but that's my opinion. It WILL get better.

uh, why? she didn't mention anything about it in her OP.

[Huckablogger]

Thanks for the hugs and such ladies. I did ten months of therapy along with a year of my full dose of Lexapro. My doctor told me after a year I could slowly wean my self off. I have not been back since then, and right at a year I started to wean myself off because I thought I might be ready to ttc #2. But now I am so afraid of dealing with PPD that I am unsure that even want a #2! As far as the BFing goes.....my son is VERY attached to my breasts and I think that forcing weaning would be more stress than i either of us could take. Also...and I am no doctor...but would the hormonal change from stopping not make the ppd worse? Is it even PPD still?

[mamatoady]

I don't know if your case, but when I came off zoloft, I did it myself (didn't have enough money to get to the doc) and it took about 2-3 weeks to be normal...I was a raging lunatic off and on during that time.

I've been off of it for a few months and have been fine since that initial weeks without it.

sarah

[Labbemama]

I would go and see the dr. before making any changes, even call the one who rx'd it to you and talk to their nurse/service. Do you have a local mental health center in your community or a free health clinic?

And yeah, the odds of PPD do go up with additional pregnancies, but the good news is that you know going into it that you are vulnerable to it so your dr and family can offer more support and get help sooner, KWIM?

If it was me (And I don't want this to sound harsh I say this because I want you to be gentle with yourself and you sound bit stressed and having been there weaning one kid when I got pg with the other suddenly and my milk dried up...Not a place you want to be if you are already anxious. Not easy on any of ya.) I would postpone ttc a little til things were a little more stablized, who knows how things will look in a month or two.