|This letter from her sounds like a women who feels guilty over not being able to bf and she dosen't want to hear every day how wonderful something is for her child that she feels like she couldn't provide. I could be wrong. Just my observation.
I think this is exactly what happened.
I don't think there was anything wrong with what the OP wrote ("My answer would be ...) However, I can see how it makes some moms defensive, because when you are in that position, it hurts. It hurts to have yet another reminder that you didn't do the most important thing you could have, that your failure has put your child at risk, and that you robbed your baby of her birthright. You get tired of feeling like you have to explain and defend that choice, and it really really hurts. After that, you just try to see what good influence you do have on your child's life. You try to emphasize what is positive, and get past the negatives of the past.
Although I'd never respond in the way that she did, I can see how it happens. It's very frustrating. 3 children, and no breastfeeding - - - that's gotta sting hard. For life.
Feeling hurt and defensive doesn't necessarily make her a bad person, IMO. It makes her human.
It's unfortunate that her feelings are now making so many other people feel bad, too (over here). In the shoes of the OP, I'd like to think I'd be more prone to offer a bit of heartfelt sympathy. Just because, that's how I'd like to be treated. I don't think that making the respondant feel worse is going to help promote breastfeeding, and it's a lot of negative energy.