In NEED of some encouragement and advice- FAST!

[LadyCatherine185]

I am a FTM, currently 10 days past EDD. I have a MW that I LOVE , though planning to birth in a hospital (no birthcenters in my area, and not confident enough for a homebirth for my first). I have had several "false starts" and am getting VERY discouraged.. To make it all *worse* they are inducing me Tuesday (in 2 days!!!) if he is not born on his own by then. We have tried everything, from Black and Blue Cohosh, to a special german cocktail (that has worked on 95% of my MW's patients!!), to of course walking and sex and all of the "natural" labor inductions. They are estimating my little boy is around 9 lbs, and I am already 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced so there is really NO reason he shouldn't have been here by now..

So if there is anyone who has been in a similiar situation, I am TERRIFIED of being induced. They are going to start me with Pitocin (and if I start to labor they will unhook me and let me move about as I wish, get in the tub, etc.) and I am just very scared of everything I have read about it. I feel confident in my MW and I do trust her, but I'm scared I will not get the birth I wanted, or anywhere close, having to be induced.... This is not at all how I envisioned bringing my Liam into the world, and I am getting so depressed thinking I will have regrets and cave in to medical interventions that I would not have agreed to had I been able to go into labor on my own..

[jennyfah]

First, hugs to you mama! Waiting on baby is so very hard.
I've been there and so have lots of other people on this board. You're doing a great job providing a perfect home for your little one. Hang in there!

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

They are estimating my little boy is around 9 lbs, and I am already 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced so there is really NO reason he shouldn't have been here by now..

I believe that babies come when they're ready. They're really, really bad at reading clocks and calendars. Also, IMO, cervical checks don't mean much, since we all know that you can walk around for weeks being slightly dilated, and that a cervix can change really rapidly in a matter of hours.

Please don't worry about a nine pound baby. Even if the estimation is correct---which is OFTEN is not---your body grows babies that are the right size for you! Both of my boys were over nine pounds, and I was able to push them out no problem.


I'll briefly share that I was pressured into an induction with my first baby, and I continue to have regrets about it. I wish I would have been strong enough to say no to my midwife, but I felt very pressured (not to mention vulnerable and scared) and I caved. It was not a good birth experience, but I have found peace with it after therapy and a healing homebirth.

I am not telling you to not listen to your provider's advice, but I am telling you to trust your instincts. I did not trust mine and I still regret it.

I am sure that lots of people here will have advice and ideas for you. Let us know what you decide! Peace, best wishes, and welcome to MDC!

Jen
mom to 2 boys

[mikayla's mama]

Could you see if your midwife would strip your membranes and/or stretch your cervix. From the sounds of it that would put you into labor almost immediately. The only thing with that is there is a chance of tearing the membranes which could complicate things. Most hospitals put you on the 24 hour clock after your water is broken even if it's a small leak.

With my second, I was dilated to 5-6 and labor stalled, got my membranes stripped and cervix stretched. Rented a room at the Holiday Inn across the street from the hospital and got a good night's sleep. Had a nice dream if you know what I'm saying which woke me to hard contractions. I got showered and dressed and ready to go and walked into the hospital about 30 minutes before I gave birth.

I also had a pitocin birth with my first. I would definitely try the membrane strip and stretch first if it's an option.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by mikayla's mama

Could you see if your midwife would strip your membranes and/or stretch your cervix.

She has already tried that twice..
I had about 12 hours of contractions Thursday evening after she stripped them the second time and doing the 'german cocktail' that were semi-painful and then stopped. I went in Friday and she checked me and said tho the cntx had stopped they did do SOME good.. It just seems like I need a push to get over the early labor into some real good active labor.

[tireesix]

What position is the baby in?

[Full Heart]

There are lots of reasons why your baby shouldn't be here. Some women just gestate longer. My babies are all born at 42 weeks. My first included. I had tried everything as well, castor oil, black and blue cohosh, sex, walking, nipple stim. I was 3 cm before I went into labor. Heck I have been 5 cm with subsequent babies and not gone into labor for days and weeks. That really doesn't mean much.

I think this inducing just because of dates can set you up for not believing in yourself. For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I have a baby before 42 weeks? Then I just came to accept that I don't. My babies need that long to cook. I successfully induced with castor oil #4 at 13 past my edd and he was the only one who needed blow by. I bet he needed another day or 3 just like my other babies.

Also boys tend to go longer than girls and FTM tend to go later than they would in subsequent pg. Maybe your baby just needs that time as you are carrying a boy and a ftm.

I do encourage you to do your own research and do what is best for you. Do whats right for you. You don't have to show up for induction, but if you do you should be fully informed and make it the best experience possible. I would bet though if they induce with pitocin they aren't gonna let you go unmonitored, there are risks involved and more often than not they don't want you to be unhooked from the monitors.

I do completly understand. 7 pg all of which went to 42 weeks (and beyond!) I understand. And 3 of them were 9 lbs. (((hugs))) I just hate to think of another woman doubting her body because of dates the medical establishment has to stick with.

[jennyfah]

Really, being 10 days past EDD is completely normal for a first-time (or fifth-time!) mom. What was it Dr. Bradley said---not all apples ripen on the tree at the same time, right?

Something I did for my last birth that helped me a lot was to just make a list of everything that I was afraid of regarding the birth of my baby. I wrote every tiny little fear or anxiety, doubt or worry that I had, in a list. Then I burned it. Something about seeing the words on paper (which was actually a much shorter list than I thought it would be) and then watching them burn was a huge release.

Try a nice long bath, a walk with a friend, reading some positive birth stories (like _Ina May's Guide to Childbirth_), a nap, a massage, a chiropractic adjustment. . . whatever relaxes you and helps you feel positive and in control.

A good cry can sometimes help kickstart labor, too. Emotional release is very powerful! Maybe you can rent a sad movie tonight?

Be well,
Jen

[tanyam926]

I agree w/ pp to TRUST your instincts about this situation. Look into info that shows going past due dates when there are no indications of baby in distress does not lead to better outcomes.

As mentioned before guesses at babies' weights are notoriously innacurrate and even if yours is a big baby, lots of women have big babies. (My ds2 was 10 lbs. 12 oz., homebirth ). You can do it mama!

It is soooo important to trust, trust, trust yourself. It won't hurt to wait a few more days until you feel at peace w/whatever decision is made, either waiting or the induction. Remember, your mind does have a large influence on your body.

Finally, your baby just may not be ready yet.

Good luck mama!

[ruthmg]

Can you get accupuncture or accupressure/massage tomorrow on labor inducing spots? That might help...

[LadyCatherine185]

THanks everyone for your encouragement and advice!!

The baby's position is what my MW thinks is the reason for the delay.. he is sort of sideways? Head down, but his back is to one side and legs to the other.

[Kidzaplenty]

I am not saying that being induced is a good idea, because in most cases it is a mistake and a disaster waiting to happen, IMO.

However, I just thought I would give you a little info. For my son, I had to be induced. I had several false starts and I just would not maintain labor long enough to produce the baby.

This is what worked for me. Pitocin was given to me, starting off at 2 (not sure how much that is, but it was the smallest dose). We then went up every half hour all the way to 8. At that point we discontinued the pit and my body took over and labor progressed normally and all on my own.

Perhaps, if you HAD to be induced, you could have then start out very small like this and then slowly see if your body takes over. My OB said they usually go to 20. THAT would have been way too much for me, since at 6 I began my own contractions. And then when they wanted to turn it back on when I was not progressing fast enough for them, but I told them no.

You have to be strong for yourself. Know what you are getting into and what it is that you really want. You may feel that you need to be induced, but that does not mean that you give up your say in the matter.

BTW, the pit contractions from 2-8 were not painful at all. Just like early labor contractions that I could feel but did not hurt. I am sure everyone is different, but that is my experience.

Anyways, I hope that helps a bit.

[LadyCatherine185]

Thanks, Kidzaplenty.. that really does help A LOT!!!! And actually, that is what I had discussed with my MW, to give me a small dose of Pit, to get me going and let my body take over on its own. It just seems like I need a jump start..

[Hayes]

My 2nd child was 12 days past her due date. I had an induction date scheduled as well. I was prepared not to show up for it. I knew that my babe would come when SHE was ready.

It was by far my shortest and easiest birth, as well as my smallest babe. She had no complications, my placenta was fine, I had no meconium. The only issue was her fingernails were really long!

Hugs in whatever you decide.

[StarMama]

Is there a reason beyond going overdue to induce? If that's the reason can you at least push back the induction to friday when you'd be 15 days past (and 42 weeks 1 day). 38 weeks to 42 weeks is considered normal gestation and a couple more days might help out, it sounds like your body is having off and on early labor and just getting a couple more days might really help labor start on its own.

[lovely rita]

I had very good luck with acupuncture (water broke just a few hours later, labor began immediately). Do you know of an acupuncture practitioner in your area who is familiar with helping women go into labor? Your midwife might have a referral.